Mini Brain Dump
I've just been thinking over my last few years of lifting.
As I'm sure a lot of you can remember, I was monstrously strong, and rather "large". I also remember when I first started training and just using brute force and strength to get that ****ing bar up, with absolutely no care in the world for technique or injury. That brazen youth phase that one goes through I guess.
I then was blighted with a shoulder injury that put me out of it for a little while. When I came back I hit it even harder, and was at my strongest/biggest (as per my PBs and my ridiculous 102+kg frame and £100 a week diet).
Then personal life and life in general got in the way and I lost my way a little and completely forgot or lost any care for the gym. I literally was completely inactive for nearly 7 or so months - you may not have remembered but I literally stopped posting in the gym threads or stopped contributing - I had basically lost all interest. Diet was still good, but food intake and activity levels went, and I somehow dropped to way below 14st and even below 13.5st I think! Amazing isn't it?
Anyway... after "getting over it" I was determined not to let my injuries, and musing over my previous exploits and achievements (within the gym!

) deter me from getting back on track. It took MANY weeks, nay, months, to accept that I was just not going to be as strong as I was. So I thought to myself... Now's the time to nail my form, and to get myself solid, and sod being big. I wanted to be fit (CV wise) and powerful, but I no longer wanted to be blighted with injuries or painful pumps/DOMS that came about from just using raw power/strength in an uncontrolled manner.
So that was my journey back to nearly this time last year, if not a little later towards the summer.
I had to dig deep and accept that my lifts would be smaller - they were.
I had to dig deep and accept that my flexibility would be shoddy - it was.
I had to dig deep and accept that my strength would be irritatingly poor - it was.
I had to dig deep and accept that I looked flat and less impressive - I did (and although I'm not vain, it did bother me

)
I had to dig deep and accept that I almost had to start from scratch - I almost had to.
I had to dig deep and accept that I had to do a lot of the exercises I just "didn't like" - single leg work, mobility work and vary my lifts to match certain cycles.
I had to dig deep and accept that my knowledge had become patchy - it had.
I had to dig deep and accept that I had to be patient - I am.
Now, my form is so much better. My flexibility is that of someone 1/2 my age. MY strength is almost back up to strength - I will be doing a 1RM sesh in a few weeks, but currently, 130kg bench, 220kg deads, 180kg squats, from just my training cycles - not pure 1RM tests. Ok so I'm 70kg short of my old totals, but my bench was mad, and I'm shy of 40kg in deads and squats combined - but that 40kg will come back in the next 6 months. Bearing in mind that before I got back into it, I was 190kg deads, 140kg squats, and 110kg bench my recovery is coming along nicely.
I'm back to around 14st 7lbs - 14st 10lbs (depending on day), my waist is down to 33", and my bodyfat % has dropped by just over 2%. So not only have I put on my weight I haven't added undue fat it seems.
Ok, so I'm not back to where I want to be, but I'm back to feeling powerful, my core strength is solid, my power is really starting to reach a rolling boil, and my strength keeps getting better at every mesocycle.
It's been a trying time - I shall spare you the personal strives of 2010, but that's where it all fell apart.
It IS hard to keep it up, and you can lose it, even someone like me has been through it. You DO get it back. You HAVE to dig deep. You have to BELIEVE in yourself, and you have GOT to WANT it.
We all falter, we all get injured and have our own issues in life. However, there's nothing stopping you from achieving what you want to achieve, don't let anyone tell you otherwise or let anything get in your way.
Here endeth the lesson.