Best man speech jokes. Help GD!

*with a serious face* As a protective brother that loves his sister very much, I didn't think anyone was good enough for Jane. But then she announced that she was marrying John, my best friend in the world, and I realised that 'not good enough' could be so much worse than I'd feared.
 
Participant said:
*with a serious face* As a protective brother that loves his sister very much, I didn't think anyone was good enough for Jane. But then she announced that she was marrying John, my best friend in the world, and I realised that 'not good enough' could be so much worse than I'd feared.
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I like that one :)

Some are just copies from the internet, I don't want to go down that route despite me copying and pasting from GD :D
 
'There are many reasons to celebrate this happy union, but personally I see it as a testament to the skill and professionalism of my sister's gender reassignment surgeon.'
 
Not a joke as such, but last thing you do.... 'going to toast someone who has done a amazing job today, blah blah' .....'if you could all stand and raise your glasses' 'THE BEST MAN' ....done this twice gets a good laugh for end of speech
 
If you've got plenty of clean stories about the groom just use those.

Try and weave them into a larger story, maybe write the speech as a school report card. You as the all wise teacher grading him on various criteria.


I've done 2 best man speeches without any specific "jokes" and they've gone down great.

Only advice is keep it really clean. The smut is fine for the stag do and the corny jokes for.. well... the father of the bride in my experience

If nothing else just make it heartfelt
 
Well this is my third time as a best man and I've never asked for help with the other two, I felt I had plenty of ammunition for jokes given the situation. I thought you guys would excel here...
 
Andybtsn said:
Well this is my third time as a best man and I've never asked for help with the other two, I felt I had plenty of ammunition for jokes given the situation. I thought you guys would excel here...
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I would help if I could but all that comes to mind is your typical GD fodder.

"He's been my best friend for a long time and we've always had a very special relationship, but this marks the end of an era for us, as now it'll seem too much like incest."
 
When John first told me he'd hooked up with my sister, I'll admit that I initially felt pretty angry. However these feelings were quickly replaced with murderous rage.

I considered exacting my revenge on John by asking his mother out, but then I realised that was a silly notion. She's already rejected me fifteen times.
 
Participant said:
When John first told me he'd hooked up with my sister, I'll admit that I initially felt pretty angry. However these feelings were quickly replaced with murderous rage.

I considered exacting my revenge on John by asking his mother out, but then I realised that was a silly notion. She's already rejected me fifteen times.
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Like it!
 
Please try and be a gentleman and be sincere about it.
This isn't your chance to be a stand-up comedian for one night. No matter how great you think you may be at it.
 
Just don't come out with the usual crap of;

'I was told the best mans speech should last as long as the groom can make love, so thanks for your time'

Be original.
 
Participant said:
When John first told me he'd hooked up with my sister, I'll admit that I initially felt pretty angry. However these feelings were quickly replaced with murderous rage.

I considered exacting my revenge on John by asking his mother out, but then I realised that was a silly notion. She's already rejected me fifteen times.
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Momma jokes? BURN!! :p
 
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