Going T Total : Any advice please

[powelly]

Every time you go to drink a beer/glass of wine add a teaspoon full of salt, thats sure to put you off drinking in no time. I know it would me, sometimes simple soap in mouth deterrents might work.

Probably not the best advice as i hardly drink as it is so i imagine having the will power to actually do something like that would be hard, i wish you luck though as someone whos dad drinks a bottle of wine or more a night i understand your hardship.

 

[Quartz]

We have stressful jobs...

Sex is supposed to be a great stress-reliever, you know.

 

[dowie]

Why not try drinking in moderation first rather than go from one extreme to another? Will still require self control etc...

 

[dowie]

As in alternate between soft drinks and alcohol when doing rounds ergo you'll by default have only half the amount if alcohol as usual.

 

[Dis86]

You go girl.

Thanks darling.

 

[Psymonkee]

Can't offer any input on the not drinking side of things but can certainly suggest finding some sort of new hobby the both of you can enjoy together. I do often bang on about it but in the last 3 - 4 years I've got really into Board Gaming and regularly go to local meetups.

New friends (even if I don't always like them!), new things to learn and do and a lot of the time the venues are old church halls/coffee shops etc so far removed from your normal socialising venues - worth a thought?

I wish you the very best of luck though

 

[Catanonia]

Sex is supposed to be a great stress-reliever, you know.

only posting this because of the 1st smile it has caused in days

Thank you all for the posts, so much to read and re-read again and again and thank you to those via PM with experiences. You know who you are and it is so much appreciated. Hopefully I have replied to you and not missed.

My wife and I have just had a long chat and agreed, this needs sorting one way or another.

Denial is over, dealing with it starts now.

Thank you all.

 

[Brizzles]

As in alternate between soft drinks and alcohol when doing rounds ergo you'll by default have only half the amount if alcohol as usual.

^^You clearly have no grasp on what being an alcoholic is.

An alcoholic needs to consume alcohol mentally and physically, there is no point of 'thats enough for today'.

Spent 10 years of my life living for drink and covered in ****.

I do have a tipple occasioanly, but can control it now with support from my partner. Once an alcoholic, alway an alcoholic.

OP sounds like he/they have realised a problem - Thats the main thing.

Admit the problem / Talk to a GP ( cold turkey is actually dangerous if you are too dependant )

You've made the first, and often hardest step in speaking about it.

I wish you well

 

[Catanonia]

Thank you

I don't think we are there yet, but if this carries on, we will be.

I have heard similar stories via PM and we don't want to be there either. We are going to both book into a AA meeting out of town (have to drive and avoid people we know).

Small steps Ellie, small steps. (Movie = Contact I think)

Fingers crossed.

Thanks all.

 

[Angilion]

Thanks.

Coke and Lemo make me wanna puke, rather have cordial and that is bad enough. Will power is what we need, we know.

Is there any other places / help we can try (free or paid) other than AA ?

On the subject of non-alcoholic drinks routinely available in pubs, have you tried carbonated water with cordial? It's an alternative to commercial fizzy drinks and it's available in many pubs. Quite a few customers where I work prefer it to commercial fizzy drinks. It's also relatively cheap, which is a nice extra.

Overcoming alcoholism often requires more than just willpower. You do need willpower, but it's not as simple as it's sometimes made out to be.

 

[HungryHippos]

I enjoy the odd drink, but really hate feeling too drunk. I tend to just limit myself to enough to make me feel a little tipsy if I am even in the mood to drink anything at all.

I told myself that if I ever started wanting to drink before the evening came around, or too often (every day for example) then I would take steps to cut back, so far though not been a problem.

I can totally have an addictive personality on some things, but fortunately alcohol isn't one of them.

As stupid as it sounds though I would hate to never be able to drink again, I'd personally try and just cut right back in a controlled fashion and enjoy the odd drink within limitations (how much and how often). If that isn't possible for you then yes you may need to cut it out totally.

 

[Dis86]

Also OP I think you've got something majorly wrong. Just because you don't drink doesn't mean you have to become 'hermits'. If you need to drink to engage in social situations then you're either spending time with the wrong people or you have other potential issues that need to be looked in to.

 

[Catanonia]

Also OP I think you've got something majorly wrong. Just because you don't drink doesn't mean you have to become 'hermits'. If you need to drink to engage in social situations then you're either spending time with the wrong people or you have other potential issues that need to be looked in to.

True. Other avenues to travel and booked in the road map after tonight. We all have issues, some more than others.

 

[Catanonia]

I enjoy the odd drink, but really hate feeling too drunk. I tend to just limit myself to enough to make me feel a little tipsy if I am even in the mood to drink anything at all.

I told myself that if I ever started wanting to drink before the evening came around, or too often (every day for example) then I would take steps to cut back, so far though not been a problem.

I can totally have an addictive personality on some things, but fortunately alcohol isn't one of them.

As stupid as it sounds though I would hate to never be able to drink again, I'd personally try and just cut right back in a controlled fashion and enjoy the odd drink within limitations (how much and how often). If that isn't possible for you then yes you may need to cut it out totally.

This is us, but we can't manage it consistently. We can go weeks and then bang....

Hence the reason for seeking help and / or alternatives to help. We are not at the point of AA (even though we are going to go) but ****, the warning signs are there..

 

[Nitefly]

To be fair drinking is common at most social situations, in the evening anyway. I can't remember the last time I hosted dinner and didn't drink wine, or the last time I had the boys round and we didn't have beers. So yes, I sympathise with the OP.

 

[Catanonia]

To be fair drinking is common at most social situations, in the evening anyway. I can't remember the last time I hosted dinner and didn't drink wine, or the last time I had the boys round and we didn't have beers. So yes, I sympathise with the OP.

Yup and the more we cut down, the worse our tolerance becomes when we stray. Vicious circle. Drink more to avoid.... bad news am I am sure is the slippery slope.

We are reaching out for alternatives.

So far the plan is (after a long chat with my wife)

1. No drinks on school nights.
2. Drinks only on special events / once a week and limit to 1 bottle of wine.
3. If we go out for a meal, drive out of town, no alcohol.
4. Go to AA
5. Ask GP for help
6. Support each other.

Probably what "normal" 40+ year olds do

TBH : T Total is not the answer, maybe use alternatives such as non alcoholic in situations above, but we need help before it destroys us.

 

[Catanonia]

I know I am rambling, but talking really helps, thank you all,.

 

[savagesam117]

I've not read the whole thread but I think instead of going t total, it should become a treat once a week or month rather than a necessity each night.

But what do I know, I've not known anyone to be or been in such situation.

For a 20yr old uni student, I rarely drink.. I had a glass of champagne yesterday morning and hadn't had a drink for at least 2 months before that.

 

[Catanonia]

I've not read the whole thread but I think instead of going t total, it should become a treat once a week or month rather than a necessity each night.

But what do I know, I've not known anyone to be or been in such situation.

For a 20yr old uni student, I rarely drink.. I had a glass of champagne yesterday morning and hadn't had a drink for at least 2 months before that.

For a young lad, a good attitude and one this older couple should listen to.
Thank you.

 

[Angilion]

Yup and the more we cut down, the worse our tolerance becomes when we stray. Vicious circle. Drink more to avoid.... bad news am I am sure is the slippery slope.

When you use a recreational drug enough to build up a significant tolerance to it it's a slippery slope you've already slid quite some way down.

We are reaching out for alternatives.

So far the plan is (after a long chat with my wife)

1. No drinks on school nights.
2. Drinks only on special events / once a week and limit to 1 bottle of wine.
3. If we go out for a meal, drive out of town, no alcohol.
4. Go to AA
5. Ask GP for help
6. Support each other.

Probably what "normal" 40+ year olds do

TBH : T Total is not the answer, maybe use alternatives such as non alcoholic in situations above, but we need help before it destroys us.

Can you go from alcoholism straight to drinking in moderation on 1 day per week? That sounds harder to me than not using alcohol at all. But that might just be me - I've found that moderation is usually difficult for me so I'm better off cutting something out entirely, at least to begin with.

The withdrawal symptoms from alcohol can be bad or even fatal. I think you're not a heavy enough user to be at a significant risk, but you might want to get some expert advice about that. I'm no expert on alcoholism - my addiction was gambling.

Incidentally, is there a reason why you're writing "T Total" rather than "teetotal"?