Because if they were as awesomely close as your uber asian families then he wouldn't leave his parents alone at Christmas, would he?
And its not a question of avoidance...the very fact that you think it is yet again shows your tenuous grasp on the topics at hand.
Why not?
You can be close to family and yet not spend Christmas day with them.
The idea that in order to be close you have to spend Christmas day together is absurd.
So if I spend 364 days a year with family but don't spend Christmas day with then I'm not close to them?
I think you are failing to grasp that you can do whatever you want.
FYI Christmas day we normally do both parents houses one for lunch and the other for dinner.
However we also have other family over to our house on other days before Christmas without involving direct family as well. Like just cousins and stuff or just friends, etc.
This year will be different because of Covid. However if one year we decided we wanted to spend Christmas abroad then I don't think anyone would have an issue with it.
I don't see any issue with the brother not going to his parents this year. He likley has other plans. Yet you want to force him to stick to this weird arrangement where you alternate parents on a scheduled basis. Just because your mum has weird anxiety issues where you don't want to invite anyone else over in case it sets her off.
Well guess what. Don't invite other people over its your decision to make just like it's his decision not to go to his parents.
Also lol at short notice. Last time I checked Christmas day is over 3 weeks away.
So he's not broke the news at short notice what so ever.