Suspended
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Oh, penski. You and your grammar hi-jinks!
Am i in the wrong with the girlfirend
- Thread starter dean_ham
- Start date
It's a lesson she has to learn. So many young people live beyond their means and just spiral deeper into debt.
Imagine what she'll be like with a CC!
If she's a decent person she'll realise she's in the wrong and apologise. If not chalk up the experience and thank your lucky stars.
Imagine what she'll be like with a CC!
If she's a decent person she'll realise she's in the wrong and apologise. If not chalk up the experience and thank your lucky stars.
A work mate a while ago decided to pay for his girlfriend of five years who "couldn't afford it" by taking out a 2k loan to go on holiday. When they got back she dumped him.
He thought the holiday would help cement their relationship. She had no intention of contributing but fancied the holiday.
Have you just caught her out?
He thought the holiday would help cement their relationship. She had no intention of contributing but fancied the holiday.
Have you just caught her out?
me227 said:
Exacly, you summed it up for me.
So generally am i in the right? To ease my mind?
My parents agree with me, and its got to the point recently that they hate my girlfriend and her mother on the basis of these recent arguments. They put on a brave face when she does come up her once or twice a week.
They are basically telling me to finnish her and that i deserve someone better... i just need advice and opinions from neutral people....
Luckily i havent lost touch with my friends (like she has - for a few reasons, and spends a lot of time drinking in the rugby club with her mother) But i dont like talking about things like this to my m8's, i will end up in tears lol. But the general opinion from a few of my m8s is that its upto me, do what i think is best.
Phantom said:she shouldnt just expect you to give her the money whenever she needs it
what if you didnt have any money either? what would she do you think...
Because i have a few thousand saved her reply was....
I would lend my last penny to you, and you wont lend me nothing.... ITS NOT AS IF YOU WILL MISS IT ANYWAY.....
cheeky *****!!!!!
dean_ham said:
Its obvious to me she had no intention saving and expected you to pay from the word go. She is also carrying on like a child and not to surprising from an 18 year old.
Id just point out to her that if she hasnt been able to save anything now, how does she expect to pay you back? Answer is - she wouldnt. Would be a gift and not a loan.
dean_ham said:
you shouldnt feel bad about it then - shes not setting a good example, living for the now instead of thinking about the future. her mum has issues and although probably unintentional, is making sure her daughter suffers too.
i dont think you'll be able to change her sorry
its a shame when a relationship doesnt work especially when youve been together for a while but people do change. no one is saying to forget about what the both of you had but you have to consider everything. how is what is happening now affect the future. is she really the sort of person who you want to be with?
Soldato
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dean_ham said:
Tell her that she should start immediately by saving up for that holiday
Immulsifier said:
Thats what i said to her, if u cant save nothing in the last few months, how will you pay me back
"oh you know i will pay you back" her answer was.
To be fair she is only going out 3 times this weekend. But generally shes guaranteed to go out on the weekend, maybe 2wice on the weekend. I am not stopping her at the end of the day shes 18.
But surely she could have saved somthing.
Shes even been going up the gym in the last few months, £3 a time.
Me the sensible one i pay £200 a year, which works out a lot cheaper.
Shes up there 3-5 times a week = £10-15, and she wonders wheres her money going.....
.... Grrrrrr
I think you are right in principle, how you've handled it with her I can't say because I haven't been present at the conversations.
At the end of the day, someone asking to borrow money, and then going out to get legless 3 nights at the weekend hasn't got a leg to stand on. One of my mates lent someone else we know £200 and it took him like a year to get it back, despite him being out 5 nights a week etc.
Personally, I lent my gf £300 in spite of the fact that she takes home 50% more wages than I do. I knew she would pay it back eventually and she's always been very fair with money in the past.
As regards your situation, I would stick to your guns but don't just give up on a relationship, 3.5years is definitely longterm and probably not worth throwing away over such a thing. Remember that as she is only 18 things like going out and spending money will be quite new to her and it's quite possible that she will calm down as she gets older.
Maybe look at some kind of compromise, i.e. a cheaper holiday which she will save for and pay in part for. E.g. a £250pp holiday of which you would like her to save say £100 and you will *lend* her the rest.
Did make me chuckle to hear she had £300 left over from birthday money, at 18 I got less than half that for xmas and birthday combined! Maybe she is used to having everything handed to her on a plate and needs to learn to work and save for things.
At the end of the day, someone asking to borrow money, and then going out to get legless 3 nights at the weekend hasn't got a leg to stand on. One of my mates lent someone else we know £200 and it took him like a year to get it back, despite him being out 5 nights a week etc.
Personally, I lent my gf £300 in spite of the fact that she takes home 50% more wages than I do. I knew she would pay it back eventually and she's always been very fair with money in the past.
As regards your situation, I would stick to your guns but don't just give up on a relationship, 3.5years is definitely longterm and probably not worth throwing away over such a thing. Remember that as she is only 18 things like going out and spending money will be quite new to her and it's quite possible that she will calm down as she gets older.
Maybe look at some kind of compromise, i.e. a cheaper holiday which she will save for and pay in part for. E.g. a £250pp holiday of which you would like her to save say £100 and you will *lend* her the rest.
Did make me chuckle to hear she had £300 left over from birthday money, at 18 I got less than half that for xmas and birthday combined! Maybe she is used to having everything handed to her on a plate and needs to learn to work and save for things.
