Give the money back to the aunt and ask her to "offer to buy" or pay for specific things - that way the wife's family don't get a penny.
Hope that's good advice. If it is, can you ask your aunt to buy me a Steinway Model A?
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*** Anonymous Confessions Thread v6 ***
- Thread starter [FnG]magnolia
- Start date
Give the money back to the aunt and ask her to "offer to buy" or pay for specific things - that way the wife's family don't get a penny.
Hope that's good advice. If it is, can you ask your aunt to buy me a Steinway Model A?
Caporegime
I'd just ask the Aunt to write a letter specifying the conditions of spending the money she gave. Then make out that she gave you the letter and the money at the same time. 
Everyone is different and is comfortable with differing levels of lying for... reasons.
I would lie to my other half for what I consider the greater good, you would not and that fine as everyone is different and has differing standards and opinions on what is acceptable and what is not in their own lives/relationships.
Deleted member 651465
D
Deleted member 651465
Don't keep it a secret.
Imagine the scenario: your wife divorces you and years later finds out about the money. She could make claim to it and the judge may rule that you purposefully chose to hide it on the financial section of the divorce, then award her every penny!
If you truly trust her, tell her about your concerns (e.g. her family) and make it clear that you don't want to blow it on rubbish. The alternative is live your entire life knowing how much easier you could make things and cause yourself unnecessary stress.
Imagine the scenario: your wife divorces you and years later finds out about the money. She could make claim to it and the judge may rule that you purposefully chose to hide it on the financial section of the divorce, then award her every penny!
If you truly trust her, tell her about your concerns (e.g. her family) and make it clear that you don't want to blow it on rubbish. The alternative is live your entire life knowing how much easier you could make things and cause yourself unnecessary stress.
Associate
[FnG]magnolia;30006335 said:
Made my day...
Caporegime
Soldato
I can solve that one easy. You are not loaded, 300k isnt that much. I guess you are still quite young, make sure you are making full pension contributions for the days you will need this money properly.
Thats all you got to do really, use the money properly not spend it. The correct way to think of this is paying off debts, the returns to you are over decades and an improvement in spending via less outgoings. You will be both a lot happier gradually being better off then being set with a weight on your back of what to do with a load of cash.
You could increase your healthcare coverage, insure loss of earnings through illness, reduce your LTV in order to secure a decade fixed rate mortgage. I can remember rates at 10% it is possible still Im sure and many would find they arent rich at that point, Im just trying to make the point to give you that perspective now. All of this is reasonable to acquire security at some capital cost now that should return benefits over many years for both of you.
Its entirely responsible use of the money and really I'd feel no guilt in doing the best for your family. Pretty sure not that long ago it'd not even be a question for the bread winner to take these actions without any great declaration. Not a big deal and you arent even rich sorry
Caporegime
Tell the wife you think her family are a bunch of tramps. Enjoy the money together, give them nothing..... Why should they get a penny? At the most spend 1k on a decent Xmas party for the whole families. Pay mortgages. Waste 10k on holiday 10k on toys, invest what's left. It's not that much.
Soldato
It depends where they live I guess. In London, £300k doesn't buy a 2 bed flat in a area that isn't.... erm... isn't 'bad'. Other parts of the country it can probably buy a nice 4 bed in a nice area.
Personally, I think I would tell the wife, but also simply tell her it will go against the mortgage. No discussions.
Personally, I think I would tell the wife, but also simply tell her it will go against the mortgage. No discussions.
Aunts aren't necessarily close relations, it depends on the family. When you consider that closer relatives (parents, siblings, children) probably get first dibs, and they could have any number of other 'competing' relations (grandchildren, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, nephews and nieces, in-laws etc etc). With the size of some families that could easily be dozens of people all wanting a slice of the pie, maybe even upwards of 50 people (which would swallow £15m if they all got £300k).
My reaction was quite the opposite: £300k is a LOT of money to give a nephew or neice. If I won £27m I wouldn't give my nephews £300k and I have a fairly small family.
Bear in mind a win isn't there to be divvied up to all and sundry. A decent house costs millions and that's just one house for you. You want to enjoy the money with nice holidays. You want to retire and live off the windfall (bearing in mind how low interest rates are).
For my nephews, whom I see a few times a year to get £300k I'd need a proper big win, not £27m.
Soldato
Damn anonymity we're not going to know what happens! 
Not telling your wife is the wrong move but so is not being very clear that it is for you and your family unit not hers.
Not telling your wife is the wrong move but so is not being very clear that it is for you and your family unit not hers.
Caporegime
As someone else said, if you hide this from your wife you could be in super big trouble if you ever divorce. I would just tell her that the conditions of the money are that it goes on them and their house etc. Its a bit of a worry if you can't trust your wife. If she wants to give a bit of money to her family then that is up to her as well.
I disagree with this. It really should be up to the aunt giving the money and the person she is giving it to, to decide who gets it. Yes they are married and so legally half of any gift may be hers. But both spouses should have to agree whether it is then given away again. If both parties agree to her request then great. If both don't then it shouldn't be given away.
Money can cause a lot of upset in families so I can see why he has hidden it while he decides how to approach it. I get annoyed at helping my MIL not because I am tight, but because she fritters so much money away and then comes begging for a handout. She lives on benefits and when she inherited some money, she basically lived a year or two buying multiple brand new sets of furniture, brand new car replaced by a brand new car a year later, cruises etc (i.e. a much more extravagant lifestyle than my wife and I in reasonably paid jobs with no children) and lo and behold ended up running out of money.
I guess the real problem is that people have different views on how money should be spent, and when you gift someone a sizeable sum money it is hard to do it in a completely detached fashion in terms of where it is going to go.
I must admit I quite like the 'lock it away in property' idea i.e. clear all debts and move to a nicer house and then you've got no money burning a hole in a pocket but do have an asset you can fall back on in future if times get hard.
I guess the real problem is that people have different views on how money should be spent, and when you gift someone a sizeable sum money it is hard to do it in a completely detached fashion in terms of where it is going to go.
I must admit I quite like the 'lock it away in property' idea i.e. clear all debts and move to a nicer house and then you've got no money burning a hole in a pocket but do have an asset you can fall back on in future if times get hard.
Quite
Caporegime
Caporegime
Nah, fair play to the fella if he's getting fresh poon at 43 years of age.