Badly explain what you do for a living.

It's fascinating trying to work out what people do from this lol. Perhaps I should have included to add a spoiler to show what you do actually do like someone else did in the thread.
 
Middle aged men and women pay me to do things with them in secluded places that their partners won't.


As part of my house sitting gig for some well off families that I'm now friends with, I get asked to play golf with them against their other halves. It's usually all expenses paid.
 
I help the lights stay on, and ensure that people who decide to put their put their head in the oven die…..

As long as they don’t have an electric oven I might add.
 
Currently I spend ten minutes a month explaining to someone who has a job why their aim of me finding a job is unreasonable.

Before that I arranged for humans to intervene with technology that was sold under the premise that it removed the need for human intervention.
I also spent a significant amount of time explaining to customers who had paid large sums for support why they needed to pay for the aforementioned human intervention, as they should have paid more for support in the first place.
 
ensuring the people and systems that provide the ability to effectively trace the meat on your plate back to animals farm of birth are capable of doing that which they are supposed to.
 
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