I think you've got a few things going on... I appreciate this advice is unsolicited but here goes.
Do away with the calorie counting... I think you've hit fatigue with it (I certainly had) and it leads to a bit of an all or nothing mindset. If you're going to be on track with your calories for the day then all is sunshine and rainbow.. if you're not going to be... then you seem to hit the "**** it" button and go way overboard on food / beers / wine.
My approach lately has been 3 proper meals a day where possible, meat/protein, veg/fruit, carbs - eat mindfully and don't take the ****. Try to eat for volume and quality and you should reduce your need to snack as well. If you feel the need to snack... sit with it for 20 / 30 minutes while doing something to distract yourself (work / house work / run an errand) and suddenly you will no longer need it and its that time closer to your next meal anyway! Or if you really need it, an apple is a great snack, or drink an americano, maybe your mouth is just lonely.
Drinking - tough love, if you're serious about your weight and more importantly your health, you just can't be helping yourself to a full bottle of red wine by yourself on the regular, that's all their is too it. Try to limit any drinking to with dinner at the weekends as a way to signal the end of the week and some relaxation, or when you're attending events/
Feel free to tell me to do one but trying to get some easy not over restrictive structure in place is key for you - all or nothing mindset is something ive really struggled with.
No. I appreciate the advice. I’m similar in the running thread (albeit I don’t run much now sadly) but I feel I’m a classic example of the whole “do as I say not as I do” mentality.
I could probably be a decent coach for others but can’t shift that focus to myself.
I’m hugely weak. I know this. I also hate waste and so being around others who don’t finish a meal makes me eat it. Not ideal mentality when you have a wife with health issues where she can feel hungry and want to eat then the food comes and she eats half and is done. I then pickup the slack. There’s a current joke where she does this and I eat it and blame her for me being fat, although we both know it’s 100% my fault.
I disagree slightly on the counting calories front. I will generally make an effort to log them regardless of where they put me for the day. However you’re correct that I have a mindset where I don’t care. I can happily be right on goal. Then snaffle a cream cheese wrap and end the day 400kcal over target and just shrug at the reading. I do try and log it though. My main issue is in weeks like the current one. Certain meals are tough to record and you end up guessing a lot. Today being a big one.
I’ve always had a horrible relationship with food which resulted in fat child/adult. My biggest benefit was running which started in my late 20’s where I could outrun the bad diet. This enabled me to generally keep things under control which cycling just doesn’t do, both through enjoyment (I like it, just don’t “love it”) and also calorie burning. Sadly it’s what’s available now.
I think that’s my main issue right now. Still longing for running and not adapting from the days of eating whatever I wanted because at the weekend I could run 20 miles on a Saturday and burn it all off. It’s been ~18 months and I acknowledge I need to change that mindset, just don’t seem to ever get myself past that.
I do enjoy this thread as I’m honest on the ups and downs. I’m realistic and fully acknowledge my flaws and limitations (of which there are many). For all the advice I receive I get annoyed with myself as I already know it. Just need to find a way to put it to practice.
I think it’s going to be Prosecco on the terrace (patio) for me this evening. Beer is pretty tempting, might investigate a cheeky IPA! Feel absolutely spent after a full on week and want the evening off. Going to have a tricky couple of weeks ahead. Need to get a grant finished (requires a lot of snacks otherwise no work is done, don’t hate the player). Then I’m on holiday to the spiritual home of carbs - Italy.
(I will accept that the ride won't be as good as if i hadn't drank that wine though. Plus i've not got the cold swimming pool to jump into to refresh myself)