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I've just had a chat with my dog, he totally agrees with you on all your points Nate, he also chases his own tail, licks his own ****** arse and can be confused simply by throwing an invisible ball.
Make of that what you will, he's not a massive banana muncher though so I actually hold more belief in the stuff he comes out with than your little pearls of **** covered wisdom.
P.S I've got a whole pack of lovely smoked bacon and some eggs for breakfast tomorrow, come at me bro.
P.P.S The dog will be having some too, it's why I listen to his opinions more than yours.
P.P.P.S I like to rub myself with raw steak, just because I can.
P.P.P.P.S Roast lamb and mint sauce makes me happy in my pants, by denying yourself this simple pleasure you're adding to my annoyance at the complete fantasy you spout as gospel in almost every post.
Oh and the teddies and angus don't like vegans.