Cheating

[Muzy]

sorry if this does not make sense, just typing it as is

I think my wife has been cheating on me as about two/three weeks ago we had a big argument over finances and stress of my job. we talked about it and we were making a mend but over the two weeks she has been out over the weekend coming back at stupid times. She went to her moms house yesterday afternoon and didnt think much of it, so as i knew her google password on the phone i tracked it at it showed her phone at her moms house and didnt think much of it. I was to go out in the evening and she had both sets of keys for the house, tried phone her and didnt answer, i tried again nothing, called her mom, no answer, called her bother nothing. then 30 seconds later her brother calls said im trying to get in touch with my wife and he says let me try within 1 minute she is calling me , was asking what time she was comming home and said later and said i had no keys for the house just about to ask about our daughter and she hung up but i got a bit suspicious so i tracked her phone, and it was near a carpark in a city park, and was there for a very long time.

today was asking what she got up to and she said that she nothing judt down her moms and went shopping and dropped her brother off.

then later on she was using youtube and it kept saying something about her password so i said pass it her let me have a look, at the same time i installed andriodlost ( lets you see messages and calls remotely) in the evening i had a breakdown when talking to her and in so many words she said she is only with me becuase of out young daugter we talk i bit then when i went on the computer i accessed her phone and one of the message i read was this

Im really sorry XXXXXX but i cnt do this anymore we r kiddin ourselves if something is gna happen. I love u so much but i dnt c a way forward. We just go around im circles and we r hurting so many people in the interim. We r lying hidin 2 see eachother. We cnt do this. 7 years later n we r in the same position. Im sorry please dnt hate im so upset right now that i cnt bare 2 fink that u wont b in my life. Im sorry

so i confronted her and showed the message on the computer and she denied it saying i was sending this message for my friend to break up with his gf

she doesnt know that ive installed this software on her phone nor that i tracked her at the park

and now we are fighting again and dont know what to do next

she said that she doesnt trust me anymore and to have a think about what ive done

trust is no longer there dude. divorce and move on.!!

 

[nucastle]

Just imagine her in a travellodge, checked in as 'Mr & Mrs Smith' being rattled repeatedly over a 7 year period and then ask yourself if it's worth saving. Not a good image.

 

[LateX'Dog]

Just imagine her in a travellodge, checked in as 'Mr & Mrs Smith' being rattled repeatedly over a 7 year period and then ask yourself if it's worth saving. Not a good image.

 

[Jonnybmac]

Just imagine her in a travellodge, checked in as 'Mr & Mrs Smith' being rattled repeatedly over a 7 year period and then ask yourself if it's worth saving. Not a good image.

or in the back of a carpark?

to be fair its them sort of thoughts that you need to seriously understand that is what shes done and that is who she is. you clearely dont know the real her if its been going on for 7 years.

its funny how she would even say that she wrote that for a friend. why would you even write that for a friend, with so much detail.. why would she say she was at her mums when you know she was blatenly out? ignopre her phone and hang up on you

wake up and see the truth, shes spinning you a massive web

Don't hotlink images - Rilot

 

[arknor]

time to move on when all trust is gone.

sounds like your relationship should have been over a long time ago but she is not ready to move on until she has somewhere else lined up.

what ifind strange is when i was in school kids had both parents, now im back with some younger lads in college for my apprenticeship there are 3 of us i na class of 16 with both parents still together...

my parents are in their 60's though lol

maybe it was a lot easier to break up than it was back in the day when people worked on their problems and there was a lot less freedom.

most couples aren't tied down by mortgages and bills these days.


Confront her , tell her it's over , get the truth move on.

 

[JamesG87]

whatever's going on, trust is gone, it's over

talk about what arrangement makes all three of you happy, and go with it

This, there's no recovering from this.

 

[ivrytwr3]

I disagree that 'once the trust has gone it's all doomed'. Sometimes thinking of going with other people, or the act of going with someone else is the kick start to SAVING a relationship. You realise and appreciate what you have and so can work on improving it.

I am not saying this for every occasion, but I know some couples who have cheated and I'm sure it's hard not to bring it up, but some things are worth fighting for.

However, in the case of the OP, I don't think I could apply this to his situation; possibility of 7 years of infidelity? Biatch needs shallow graving.

Lastly, is this a wind up? There is some terminology in his post that don't add up - 'mom' and a few other things.

If it is true, good luck with whatever you decide to do.

 

[Suarez7]

There's a correlation between threads on cheating/divorce and the OP having his rig specs in his sig.

 

[arknor]

There's a correlation between threads on cheating/divorce and the OP having his rig specs in his sig.

are you suggesting they should have their wifes specs in a sig instead

 

[Rich1988]

whatever's going on, trust is gone, it's over

talk about what arrangement makes all three of you happy, and go with it

Im afraid this is true, the fact that you have tracked her and installed software on her phone says it all.

 

[Black Dynamite]

Sorry to hear about your troubles, like others have said, move on and do what is right for your kid.

How old's your kid mate?

If I found out my mrs has been cheating on me for 7 years and my kid was younger than 8 i'd be very concerned ...

I honestly don't know why people cheat in a relationship, if you aren't happy, end it and move on.

 

[FeFiDoh]

I scrolled through to see if anyone else had mentioned what Black Dynamite just did.

7 year affair and you have a child? How old is said child?

 

[[TFU] Thegoon84]

she doesnt know that ive installed this software on her phone nor that i tracked her at the park

Sorry to laugh, but this is quite possibly one of the best sentences I've seen on OCUK!

But dude, in all serious. Its one thing having a cheating wife that's sorry.... Its another thing having a cheating wife that believes her own lies!

For your own sanity and dignity... Split up!

I scrolled through to see if anyone else had mentioned what Black Dynamite just did.

7 year affair and you have a child? How old is said child?

This

 

[Allnamestaken]

Oh god There is a chance its not your kid :\.....


The Fefidoh!!!!

This just became worse .


Man I think you need to make a clean break from this buddy this is like a horrible disease that planted itself in your marriage 7 years ago.

You have a limb that needs amputating but remember the child even if there is doubt that its yours because honestly if the kid is younger then 7 years then......

 

[glenimp617]

Funny how everyone is simply saying "split up"

There is a child involved, yes there are trust issues. It all boils down to one simple truth. Do you both still love each other?

Would you do anything for your wife?
Would she do anything for you?

are you pleased to get away with the lads for a nightout, or do you always want her to come with you?

Do you feel so confident with her, that you can tell her anything and everything?

If you both still love each other, then try and work it out. The trust has gone, but if you are both truthful to each other from now on, it can work. It's amazing how many people are in relationships, but don't know what true love feels like.

ok, you don't know for a fact she has been having an affair, but ask yourself this.....why did she do it? there had to be a reason? perhaps the relationship hasn't been great for a while. I know it's no excuse, but still.

It's very easy for strangers to say, leave, but I think you need to have a serious talk with your wife

oh, and staying with her for the sake of your kids IS something worth considering.

If you get to 50-60, will you think back and say "if only i'd" or "thank god I didn't"

 

[Allnamestaken]

Funny how everyone is simply saying "split up"

There is a child involved, yes there are trust issues. It all boils down to one simple truth. Do you both still love each other?

Would you do anything for your wife?
Would she do anything for you?

are you pleased to get away with the lads for a nightout, or do you always want her to come with you?

Do you feel so confident with her, that you can tell her anything and everything?

If you both still love each other, then try and work it out. The trust has gone, but if you are both truthful to each other from now on, it can work. It's amazing how many people are in relationships, but don't know what true love feels like.

ok, you don't know for a fact she has been having an affair, but ask yourself this.....why did she do it? there had to be a reason? perhaps the relationship hasn't been great for a while. I know it's no excuse, but still.

It's very easy for strangers to say, leave, but I think you need to have a serious talk with your wife

oh, and staying with her for the sake of your kids IS something worth considering.

7 years of playing someone on the other team.....

This is not a fantasy drama Glen8.

Yes the kid is important but things dont always heal the moment you declare your undying love for your scandalous other half.

There is a point of no return and 7 years??? 7 years and the chance that his child might not even be his now?


I am just giving alternate opinions don't bite me for it.

 

[glenimp617]

7 years of playing someone on the other team.....

This is not a fantasy drama Glen8.

Yes the kid is important but things dont always heal the moment you declare your undying love for your scandalous other half.

There is a point of no return and 7 years??? 7 years and the chance that his child might not even be his now?


I am just giving alternate opinions don't bite me for it.

oh I won't mate

Let's say she has been having an affair for 7 years, and the child isn't his. What is she still doing with him? Surely she would have walked years ago?

These situations are incredibly complicated. Do you realise that a vast number of people cheat, who don't actually want to? Yep, it's self loathing. There are thousands of people who cheat because they are so low and depressed. Has the OP considered going to relate? She might be trapped in a terrible situation and doesn't know how to ask for help.

 

[Ilikeitblackplease]

No one is om with the cheating.

But the hacking and tracking points to much deeper issues in the relationship.

Not really, I see it like a credit check but a personal one, these days women have no respect for men. They cheat more than men they have brought it on themselves. I got of wit ha few women only to see them later walking down the street with their boyfriend etc...

personally I would have waited and gathered more evidence, the problem with most men if there is a hint of cheating they will rush in, what guys need to do is collect evidence to the point where they have no choice to own up.

 

[glenimp617]

I've said it before on these forums, but people have no idea just how many people do cheat these days. It's almost certain that someone if your office has/is having an affair.

Even the people you least expect

The amount of happily married women with children cheat is astounding. They seem to be the first one who's kick up a stink when judging others who do

 

[Allnamestaken]

oh I won't mate

Let's say she has been having an affair for 7 years, and the child isn't his. What is she still doing with him? Surely she would have walked years ago?

These situations are incredibly complicated. Do you realise that a vast number of people cheat, who don't actually want to? Yep, it's self loathing. There are thousands of people who cheat because they are so low and depressed. Has the OP considered going to relate?

I have seen similar things happen around me in the past, and from what I saw it usually it was the fact the woman didnt have a guaranteed branch to swing too.

It was slippery and didn't guarantee said person a grip. In regards to Ops wife she wouldn't necessarily know if it was not his either thats just speculation but it could be true depending on the childs age.