DADS ARGHHHHHHHHHH

Gilly · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:20

I'm sorry that things aren't great Andy, but chucking remotes at him and stressing the situation more isn't going to help dude.

Aruffell · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:23

zain said:
Man, I am an understanding guy and sympathised with you until I saw the "knocked him down" bit, thats just sick and sad. All children who hit their parents regardless I hope they live a miserable life.

Whether or not hes the greatest father or his habbits drive your nerves crazy you have no right to judge him or give him crap. Im surprised he hasnt kicked you out of the house.

Its pathetic these days how people treat their parents, some children even age 25 get everything all from their parents but still treat them like dirt. It gets me so angry. After everything parents do for their kids, this is the sort of thanks they get.....im only 18 and I never want children heh

I only knocked him down because he did the same to me, i've been taught by my mum who i care for and love with all of my heart that respect works both ways and i've never had respect from him especially with the hits.

I've thought about when he will be "gone" and i honestly feel nothing, i may do when it actually happens but i don't think i will.

I have nieces and i would honestly give my left nut and right one for that matter to help them with anything.

My mum would do anything for her kids, even though we are grown, she would do anything.

He would, if it would benefit him.

Cueball · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:24

Aruffell, instead of buying rubbish that you don't need, how about saving up then moving away?

You're angry with your father - whoopie doo. Welcome to the real world!

You seem completely ignorant to the most basic fact here: it is his house, therefore, it is his rules. He can do whatever he likes.

You don't like? Leave.

I used to have the same arguments with my eldest son. The solution was easy: he eventually grew up and stopped acting like a child.

Aruffell · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:25

Gilly said:
I'm sorry that things aren't great Andy, but chucking remotes at him and stressing the situation more isn't going to help dude.

I admit that i did that in the heat of the moment, i admit that, and i admit that it was wrong.

Aruffell · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:26

Cueball said:
Aruffell, instead of buying rubbish that you don't need, how about saving up then moving away?

You're angry with your father - whoopie doo. Welcome to the real world!

You seem completely ignorant to the most basic fact here: it is his house, therefore, it is his rules. He can do whatever he likes.

You don't like? Leave.

I used to have the same arguments with my eldest son. The solution was easy: he eventually grew up and stopped acting like a child.

I have more than enough money to move away but as i said above i'm the only one who cares and helps for my mum, without me, i think my mum wouldn't be able to cope.

He has ONE friend who comes over and my dad tells him a story that his mate told him last week and he will add 10 to whatever it is.

If he's mate found £5, then the next week my dad will say that his "other" mate found £20.

His mate looks over at me and rolls his eyes constantly because he gets sick of the stretching of truths.

Andy

EDIT: It's not rubbish, i bought a projector and freeview card so i don't have to sit down there with him.

I missed a program on TV last night so whilst they went out, i thought, perfect opportunity to watch it on Telewest Teleport replay.

spike's · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:27

Mikol said:
Regarding the feet issue, it is actually a well documented problem for a lot of people. Similarly, there were studies conducted regarding people who couldn't sleep due to discomfort when they kept their legs/feet still. I can find the reports for you if you wish, but don't give him a hard time about moving his feet.

correct. ILS (iritable leg syndrome). i get something similar at nights sometimes, where i just cant keep still or it hurts.

anyway, back on topic.

you may think that you have the worse dad ever etc etc. but just be thankfull you have one. some people would love to be able to be in your shoes.

Simaster14 · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:29

zain said:
Man, I am an understanding guy and sympathised with you until I saw the "knocked him down" bit, thats just sick and sad. All children who hit their parents regardless I hope they live a miserable life.

Whether or not hes the greatest father or his habbits drive your nerves crazy you have no right to judge him or give him crap. Im surprised he hasnt kicked you out of the house.

Its pathetic these days how people treat their parents, some children even age 25 get everything all from their parents but still treat them like dirt. It gets me so angry. After everything parents do for their kids, this is the sort of thanks they get.....im only 18 and I never want children heh

So you're saying it's ok for a parent to hit a child, but the other way around is completely wrong? Also, I am pretty damn sure that it is the parents choice to have children and bring them up in their own home. So surely they should be allowed simple privilages? I can understand children giving their parents respect, but surely he should be allowed to do simple things like putting up a shelf in a room he pays rent for? Or being able to sit in a chair whilst watching TV for a little while?

Street · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:30

Mikol said:
Regarding the feet issue, it is actually a well documented problem for a lot of people. Similarly, there were studies conducted regarding people who couldn't sleep due to discomfort when they kept their legs/feet still. I can find the reports for you if you wish, but don't give him a hard time about moving his feet.

I think I must be one of them, my missus is constantly whinging at me for wobbling my feet at night!

Hussman · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:31

I don't think I know two identical twins with ginger hair, but I do meet a lot of people in my job?

Why do you ask?

zain · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:33

Simaster14 said:
So you're saying it's ok for a parent to hit a child, but the other way around is completely wrong? Also, I am pretty damn sure that it is the parents choice to have children and bring them up in their own home. So surely they should be allowed simple privilages? I can understand children giving their parents respect, but surely he should be allowed to do simple things like putting up a shelf in a room he pays rent for? Or being able to sit in a chair whilst watching TV for a little while?

Ever heard the saying two wrongs dont make a right? I couldnt bring myself to raise a fist to any family member even if they kicked the hell out of me, I would leave and end it at that.

Steves_pc · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:35

My old fella was about as much use, never interested etc etc. knocked me down the stairs when i was about 14 so, when i got up he got his.

He also didnt help my mother despite claiming disability road tax for "his" car he'd do the shopping that was it, then he'd bugger off out all over the place while mother was stuck at home, he also did the tv on fall asleep (must have taken 20 years to see all the clint eastwood films) and twitchy feet thing, used to bug the hell out of mother.

So i can totally see where you're coming from and sympathise with you, not saying the rest of you are wrong but its a "you have to be there to understand it".

Avoidance is the best tactic, at least someones there to help your mum.

Cueball · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:37

Aruffell said:
i bought a projector

That's rubbish.

Why not a standard TV, why a projector? How much did it cost?

Aruffell said:
I have more than enough money to move away but as i said above i'm the only one who cares and helps for my mum, without me, i think my mum wouldn't be able to cope.

The point is: you don't have to stick around and help. Just because you feel obliged to stick around and help doesn't give you the right to disrespect your father. Does it?

You miss the most important rule here: it is your father's house. Either put up with it, or leave. You can't have it both ways.

Aruffell · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:41

Cueball said:
That's rubbish.

Why not a standard TV, why a projector? How much did it cost?

The point is: you don't have to stick around and help. Just because you feel obliged to stick around and help doesn't give you the right to disrespect your father. Does it?

You miss the most important rule here: it is your father's house. Either put up with it, or leave. You can't have it both ways.

Why is that rubbish?

You can ask Matblack if you want, i bought it from him. I BOUGHT it, so don't know how that is rubbish.

Projector's are bigger and take up less room than a TV. I also bought 5.1 Mission speakers and 250Watt sub, is that rubbish too?

It cost very little, under £200.

Still don't see why that's rubbish though? Care to elaborate on that matter?

My dad used to hit us, because of that i've always seen this house as my mum's and i give her the upmost respect because i get it back and have never once argued with her.

Andy

Raikiri · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:42

Cueball said:
That's rubbish.

Why not a standard TV, why a projector? How much did it cost?

The point is: you don't have to stick around and help. Just because you feel obliged to stick around and help doesn't give you the right to disrespect your father. Does it?

You miss the most important rule here: it is your father's house. Either put up with it, or leave. You can't have it both ways.

Projectors can cost as little as £400, TV's of similar size may be £1000+.

What would happen if he did not stick around though? Bit of a catch 22.

I don't know about you, but if someone did not respect me in any way I would not feel obliged to respect them.

As he pays rent, he as just as much right to do what he wants.

Simaster14 · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:42

zain said:
Ever heard the saying two wrongs dont make a right? I couldnt bring myself to raise a fist to any family member even if they kicked the hell out of me, I would leave and end it at that.

I can understand two wrongs dont make a right, completely, but I just can't see how anyone (parent/family member/friend/anyone) can hurt someone, and not expect anything in return. There are times when retaliation has to be done, just to prove that you aren't someone who can be mocked and beaten endlessly when the person feels like it.

Puzzled · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:55

Hmm your dads behaviour is a bit weird, from the way you describe him he sounds a bit low possibly depressed.

Now I know it's silly for me to diagnose him like that, but from the behaviour you have described he sounds like someone who doesn't like the way his life is going but avoids "changing" by finding issues with other people.

Does he have any hobbies ( apart from poker and toe wriggling)? Perhaps something you two could try doing together.

alexakasloth · 22 Mar 2006 at 19:56

Cueball said:
The point is: you don't have to stick around and help. Just because you feel obliged to stick around and help doesn't give you the right to disrespect your father. Does it?

You miss the most important rule here: it is your father's house. Either put up with it, or leave. You can't have it both ways.

I think you're missing an important rule, his father isn't giving him the respect he deserves from the sound of it. He's also worried about his mother, if you thought you're mother needed your help would you up and leave?

Adam · 22 Mar 2006 at 20:50

Sounds like you are the problem tbh. From your post he hasn't said anything unreasonable yet you have reacted like a child. Sounds like you ought to show him a little bit of respect - he is your father. Don't like it? Get your own place.

Cueball · 22 Mar 2006 at 21:05

Aruffell said:
Why is that rubbish?

You can ask Matblack if you want, i bought it from him. I BOUGHT it, so don't know how that is rubbish.

Projector's are bigger and take up less room than a TV. I also bought 5.1 Mission speakers and 250Watt sub, is that rubbish too?

It cost very little, under £200.

I said you bought rubbish instead of saved. You said you brought a projector. That, in my mind = useless rubbish that, let's be fair here, you don't really need.

I assumed it was a brand spanking new all-singing/all-dancing jobbie. I was wrong.

suicidle_tramp said:
I think you're missing an important rule, his father isn't giving him the respect he deserves from the sound of it. He's also worried about his mother, if you thought you're mother needed your help would you up and leave?

Rule #2 in life: repsect is earnt, not given.

secretspy · 22 Mar 2006 at 21:06

everyone has moments like this.

my bf says my dads constantly grumpy but thats cos he is in pain. he is sometimes like "its my house etc" but all people are like that even I am now im living with my bf

my dad even told me to get lost the other day and yes it did upset me but i dont dwell on it anymore i just get on with more important things.

i think you need to stop letting all the niggly things get to you so much.