Do you charge your children "keep" or rent? Do/did you pay it yourself?

[GIBURROWS]

"Keep" when I left home about 7 years ago was £300 a month, I can't remember what it started at but would have started when I started working in 98.

I think parents not doing this are doing a disservice to their kids.

 

[Maundie]

I went in the Army when I left school but when I came out and moved back home until getting my own place I paid £100 a month, all my friends paid it as well although I know my Aunt charged her kids and then gave it them back which I find counter-productive, they've both grown up to be entitled arses.

 

[Voltar]

If I did charge anything I’d just put it into a savings account or pension for them and then give it back to them later.

But I’d say if I were one of many families who struggle to make ends meet I would certainly charge rent.

 

[GIBURROWS]

All these people not charging daughters a penny or a lower percentage than sons explains so much with the women I meet out and about!!

 

[el_dazza]

I always paid 20% of my take home pay. Didn't have any issues with it, why should I be earning money and not paying my way?

 

[SexyGreyFox]

I think you are taking it too literally, the mechanism most apply is to gently help wean their kids from being passive no income no responsibility children to adults with responsibilities. Note that many who do this, in hindsight appreciated their parents when they did this to them and saw the positive of it (for them).

We just told ours that we don't expect you to flitter your money away and bank some of it, they both did and didn't pay us a penny.
My 36 year old is back with us but very soon will be moving into her own house so once again making use of the money she's saving by not paying us.
Some parents must start rubbing their hands when their kids get close to working age or

 

[tonys]

We just told ours that we don't expect you to flitter your money away and bank some of it, they both did and didn't pay us a penny.
My 36 year old is back with us but very soon will be moving into her own house so once again making use of the money she's saving by not paying us.
Some parents must start rubbing their hands when their kids get close to working age or

So long as you're happy with the situation that's fine.

 

[Sone]

When I was at home I always paid 25% of my wage. My mother always struggles so didn't bother me. Kept paying her (less) when moved out.

 

[slinxy]

All I keep reading here is parents do it to teach their kids how to budget properly. People must have really low opinions on their kids intelligence if they feel they all need to be taught to budget properly. Me and my brother were never taught how to budget by our parents, we just worked it out for ourselves using our brains.

There's a difference between knowing the principles and putting it into practice... no doubt some can read and study on how to drive car and some can tech them themselves if they go slowly enough but putting in a few 1000s miles and gain experince of it as well as learning from other people's experince by reading or talking about it, will nomrally make them a better driver.

 

[secretspy]

The rule we had growing up was once you start earning you start contributing. Money was tight, my dad was technically retired (but doing odd jobs here and there) so my mum was working about 3 different jobs to feed 4 kids. It was always £100 a month which covered food, electricity etc but my mum also continued to do laundry for everyone. When I was 16/17 though I started to do my own food shops and do my own laundry so I did complain that it wasn't fair to charge me the same as the others when I wasn't eating their food etc. Plus my brother never paid a penny. (If he was to pay my mum back now he'd owe £20,400) they agreed I could drop it to £50 as I was paying the broadband for the house.

I remember my mum asking me when I got a full time job whether I was 100% certain I didn't want to go to college etc because the gov payments they got for me would have to stop. As I got older and it was just me and my mum I did up my payments back to £100 and then she started to get a bit narky about the fact she was paying more council tax because I was there so I worked out what saving she'd get if I moved out and paid her that difference too.

I definitely think it's something I would do for my kids (if I'm ever lucky enough to have them.) I don't know if I would keep the money aside secretly but one thought I did have instead is to keep half of any money they are ever given for bdays etc and put that into a savings account so that it's started from an early age.

 

[Demon]

We just told ours that we don't expect you to flitter your money away and bank some of it, they both did and didn't pay us a penny.
My 36 year old is back with us but very soon will be moving into her own house so once again making use of the money she's saving by not paying us.
Some parents must start rubbing their hands when their kids get close to working age or

Not sure of the point, sounds like you are trying your best and being supportive, although it does sound like you might be chastising those that do charge rent?

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Not sure of the point, sounds like you are trying your best and being supportive, although it does sound like you might be chastising those that do charge rent?

Being the age I am and working on factories I have witnessed many parents rubbing their hands when their kids got to working age when they were earning enough anyway.
My Sister started working in 3 jobs at the age of 15 and handed very penny over to my Mum because of the dire straits she was in financially.
Me on the other hand never paid a penny because my Mum and Dad left me on my own form the age of 16 and went to live in Nigeria.
I'm chastising the parents who don't need to do it and then make up an excuse that "It's to teach them"

 

[McManicMan]

Sounds to me like you just don’t want your kids living at home full stop.

You might be right but don't tell the MRS.

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

I don't think we'd ask our kids to contribute if they had to (in future) revert back to us. They're bright, responsible ladies even at 10 and 15 and they don't want or even recognise that safety net my generation talked about. I mentioned it in another thread but they'll be amazing without our help because they don't need it. They'll just do it.

 

[robfosters]

As many of you know, I live back at home (mums) due to disability and needing her as a 24hr carer. She also works from home FT as well.

Her employers are stingy as hell, to the point where due to the severity of my disability, I get more in benefits than she does in salary. She can’t get carers allowance either as she earns over £99 a week (don’t get me started on that one )

So although I argued against charging your children rent, I think in my case, in the current economic climate, for me to not help out financially when she does so much for me, would make me a complete and utter ****. So I do help out quite considerably now. It’s only right.

 

[Demon]

I'm chastising the parents who don't need to do it and then make up an excuse that "It's to teach them"

Does this also apply to those who put it in savings and give it them back when they need it?

 

[SexyGreyFox]

Does this also apply to those who put it in savings and give it them back when they need it?

What do you think?
Stupid question to be honest.

 

[Sirrel Squirrel]

How'd you enforce it? My son is an apprentice now and I've said he can pay £50 a week or alternatively help around the house, doing washing up, laundry, walking the dog etc. He does neither!

 

[Demon]

I'm chastising the parents who don't need to do it and then make up an excuse that "It's to teach them"

Say what now?

I have charged my Daughter £200 rent because that's how I've decided to do it as a parent and you think it's an excuse?

Let me remind you of the last part I wrote:

I think on both sides, anyone lecturing the other to say their parenting approach is 'wrong' is deluded.. you quickly learn that no matter what you do, however well meaning it may not turn out as you expect.. parenting is tough at times!

We just told ours that we don't expect you to flitter your money away and bank some of it, they both did and didn't pay us a penny.
My 36 year old is back with us but very soon will be moving into her own house so once again making use of the money she's saving by not paying us.

You do realise on the surface this sounds highly ironic?

I mean if she wasn't flittering her money away and banking some of it, then surely between school age and 36 she should have plenty of savings and not require another rent free savings session? i.e. this isn't a glowing example of someone that has a stellar financially responsible history..

I'm sure there are reasons, and I wouldn't dream of chastising you, yet there you are knowing nothing about me or the specifics of the entire situation and chastise me as if I'm some selfish or bad parent?

 

[tonys]

How'd you enforce it? My son is an apprentice now and I've said he can pay £50 a week or alternatively help around the house, doing washing up, laundry, walking the dog etc. He does neither!

Does he eat you're food, put locks on cupboards and the fridge. Does he use the Internet, change the password etc.