[Brockwell Park]
OSGOOD: The Tardis.
DOCTOR: The Tardis.
OSGOOD: What does it stand for?
DOCTOR: What? You're kidding me? Surely you know that?
OSGOOD: Well, I've heard a couple of different versions.
DOCTOR: I made it up from the initials. It stands for Totally And Radically Driving In Space. Do you want to come? All of the future, all of history, and all of the universe?
OSGOOD: More than anything. But I think I have to stay. I've got a couple of boxes to keep an eye on. And a world to keep safe.
DOCTOR: Fair enough. Clara, would you mind er
CLARA: Mind what?
DOCTOR: I'll see you in the Tardis, okay?
CLARA: (penny drops) Er, yeah, sure.
(She goes and hugs Osgood.)
CLARA: Take care, you.
OSGOOD: You take care of him. Don't let him die or anything.
CLARA: What if he's really annoying?
OSGOOD: Then fine.
CLARA: Got ya.
(Clara goes into the Tardis and shuts the door.)
DOCTOR: I need to know. Which one are you?
OSGOOD; I'm Osgood.
DOCTOR: Human or Zygon?
OSGOOD: I'll answer that question one day. Do you know when day that will be?
OSGOOD [OC]: The day nobody cares about the answer.
(A second Osgood in 7th Doctor duffel coat, paisley scarf etc steps out from behind Osgood, where we know there was no one before. Her spectacles haven't got a mend on the bridge.)
OSGOOD 2: Gotcha!
OSGOOD: Oh, look at his face.
OSGOOD 2: It's almost not fair.
DOCTOR: (stuttering) But I don't, I don't. How, how?
OSGOOD: Oh, think it through, Doctor.
OSGOOD 2: Well, it wouldn't be right, would it?
OSGOOD: To carry on using Clara's face
OSGOOD 2: When there's a vacancy.
DOCTOR: Zygella?
OSGOOD: Osgood!
DOCTOR: But which one of you
BOTH: Osgood!
OSGOOD: It doesn't matter which of us is which.
OSGOOD 2: All that matters is that Osgood lives.
OSGOOD: And nothing's going to stop us!
DOCTOR: You're a credit to your species, Petronella Osgood.
OSGOOD: No, Basil.
OSGOOD 2: We're a credit to both of them.
DOCTOR: Oh, and you should know. I'm a very big fan.
(He goes into the Tardis and shuts the door.)