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Does anyone else have no friends?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by AHarvey, Sep 17, 2016.

  1. dodg3rman

    Hitman

    Joined: Apr 10, 2013

    Posts: 546

    Location: Norwich

    I dont have any friends as such although I do have a couple of pre retirement work colleagues I occasionally say hi to on WA. This suits me just fine as I've never been one for that sort of thing. I've played many team sports over the years and was comfortable doing so but wasn't really interested in the after match stuff. I know i'm an introvert and so is my wife and we are both happy on our own or in each others company. Now i'm retired I keep thinking about joining clubs but the thought of having to interact with people puts me off. Put me with a couple of people max and i'm right in the mix of the conversation but any more than that and i'm the quiet one just listening. Any work do I did attend I used to get home mentally exhausted from having to listen to people drone on about rubbish. I just wanted to run away and be quiet
     
  2. dirtychinchilla

    Sgarrista

    Joined: May 2, 2011

    Posts: 9,230

    Location: Woking, Surrey

    Same. I would hate to be without my friends.
     
  3. Vince

    Man of Honour

    Joined: Oct 30, 2003

    Posts: 8,900

    Location: Essex

    I guess this is just one of those things, as you get older people drift apart. I have a total of perhaps 5 proper friends, the type of friends that would drop anything any time of day or night should I need them and they know I would do the same for them. Good people are few and far between so that works for me :)
     
  4. malachi

    Sgarrista

    Joined: Jun 27, 2006

    Posts: 9,831

    Location: Earth

    Those are the best friends, the sort you call up and say,
    "Dude, I have a body I need to move and bury "
    They reply back,
    "Ok, I be round in 5 mins with the car" :D
     
  5. [FnG]magnolia

    Pancake

    Joined: Aug 29, 2007

    Posts: 26,295

    Location: Bees.

    Seems legit. For you, I mean.
     
  6. Vince

    Man of Honour

    Joined: Oct 30, 2003

    Posts: 8,900

    Location: Essex

    Only sort of friends worth having. Everybody else is just "Somebody I know".
     
  7. dowie

    Caporegime

    Joined: Jan 29, 2008

    Posts: 46,023

    Bit of both for me - though my secondary school friends live all over the place at the moment so I guess it is a bit different to if we all never left our home town. We have a WhatsApp group and have gone on holidays together, weddings etc..etc.. when we meet up (at Christmas or in the summer etc..) we're as close as ever but week to week don't see each other.

    I certainly don't buy the idea that you only have a handful of close friends - perhaps at one time i.e. you sort of park friends... (as per the secondary school friends as we simply don't see each other all them time now) - but you can certainly keep close groups of friends - school friends, uni friends, military friends etc... Then friends from different workplaces you made later in life friends from hobbies you took up etc..
     
  8. willhub

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jan 3, 2006

    Posts: 22,223

    Location: MediaCityUK

    I have friends but I'm not social enough for them to care much for me.
     
  9. krooton

    Caporegime

    Joined: May 9, 2004

    Posts: 25,744

    Location: Leafy outskirts of London

    All relationships have a shelf-life, and friendships are no different.

    My forever best-friend I have known since I was 15 and she lives in a different hemisphere, but our bond is iron-clad.
    I only keep in contact with 1 friend directly from high school, most of my 'clubbing' friends made between 2003-2010 have drifted away, and I always make a few close friend through work.

    My wife is definitely my second best friend and there is nothing off limits to what we discuss and joke about, not that I ever had particularily low-brow caveman type chats with my male friends.
     
  10. Junglist

    Mobster

    Joined: Jun 11, 2015

    Posts: 4,713

    Location: Bristol

    I'm not the most sociable person but I couldn't imagine going through life with no friends. I have two groups of friends. Ones who I met when I was in secondary school and the skate-park and another group of friends I made when I used to work for a Swedish furniture company about 10 or so years ago. I can't imagine not having them around me. Life is all about making memories, I can't imagine how dull life would be without hanging around with friends. For me a perfect evening is just with my partner and a few friends sat around talking about whatever comes up or playing some boardgames.
     
  11. Slam62

    Soldato

    Joined: Jan 3, 2006

    Posts: 7,361

    Location: Monaco

    Yes, that would describe it very well
     
  12. Smokey Deza

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Feb 11, 2011

    Posts: 1,492

    Here's an interesting development surrounding a mate of mine through school and work after 20+ years.

    We worked at the same company after school where there was a group of us, and we all had a laugh loading lorries in between lobbing tomatoes at each other. But over the years they left and we stayed, moving into different roles.

    In the very latter years he starts getting big promotions and is utterly consumed by it. Constantly talking shop will not stfu.

    Rewind to this time last year and once again, relations sour with my office co-workers. Said mate in his position is informed that complaints have been made, and at great risk infiltrates HR snapping them up page by page which I read week before I'm officially handed them.

    We make a plan. Plan is to nail them to the wall.

    Dude totally cops-out in witness statement and declares nothing of what had really transpired, just neutral fence-sitting comments all the way through. Except for one bit in an attempt to impress his boss, inadvertently lent massive weight to some of their accusations. That single line was so critical it was even used against me in my appeal.

    So I'm not so sure I agree with the 'Iron-Clad' reference I saw further up any more :p
     
  13. juno_first

    Mobster

    Joined: Apr 18, 2003

    Posts: 2,535

    Location: Stoke, England

    I know one bloke I could talk to but he's so blue pill I find it difficult & have to pretend to fit in, so no friends & no family barring an unpleasant brother I cut out years ago.
    It seems the older I'm getting the more confident & capable I'm getting at socialising but have less people I could genuinely speak to, which is zero atm.
    Be funny if I got married as there would be no one on my side of the church :eek: & probably no one would come my funeral.

    Although, being red pill the number of descent women out there is very low so I've been single for years. I could date but I know I'll just be worse off after a few months & yearn for me-time.
    I'm into self improvement such as intermittent fasting & don't use pron & even tried nofap… There are many benefits to this lifestyle that would be wiped out if married or dating as it's all about serving the woman then, of which most don't give much in return so what's the point? I was chatting with a hot 22yr old recently (I'm 47) & one of her eyebrows started pealing off, such a shame!

    As an INFJ type personality I want to help people but every time I've tried to help someone they've taken advantage. I totally understand why Keanu Reeves who's also INFJ could date a super-model but instead stayed single for ages & is now dating an older artist who's not that pretty.
    With being introverted means just having to go MacDonald's for breakfast Saturday morning & I'm good to be on my own all weekend.
    I find it really annoying & exhausting when an extrovert tries to talk to you about absolutely nothing but I know they're only doing it because they need to. I still think they're a succubus though :D

    Unless you have a social issue that's stopping you interacting with people then if you like being on your own then so what. Be happy in who you are :cool: but remember everyone is different & no one is better than anyone else.
     
  14. Participant

    Caporegime

    Joined: May 13, 2003

    Posts: 30,938

    Location: Warwickshire

    Otherwise you'd most definitely have smashed right
     
  15. juno_first

    Mobster

    Joined: Apr 18, 2003

    Posts: 2,535

    Location: Stoke, England

    Possibly an option but not worth the hassle. Maybe in my 30's but now ironically I also want someone who can sustain a deep & meaningful conversation.
     
  16. Energize

    Caporegime

    Joined: Mar 12, 2004

    Posts: 27,951

    No, a friend is not just someone you know at work or a next door neighbour who you only chat to because you're in proximity to them.

    To say friends are overrated suggests you've never really experienced a true friendship, someone who you can talk to anything about, someone who will do some serious **** for you when things go wrong, someone who will risk dying for you. That's friendship. Not just someone you have a laugh with at the pub.

    It's true that it's a very precarious situation to be in and I find it a worrying attitude from a mental health perspective that people think they just need their partner and no one else.
     
  17. koolpc

    Capodecina

    Joined: Dec 2, 2004

    Posts: 11,617

    Location: Under The Desk, Wales

    My daughter is truly my best friend in the whole world
     
  18. flea.rider

    Hitman

    Joined: Aug 7, 2017

    Posts: 790

    why ? if you can't talked to your wife about anything why be there ?
    you can always unload to someone you don't know that well .. but would they care
     
  19. juno_first

    Mobster

    Joined: Apr 18, 2003

    Posts: 2,535

    Location: Stoke, England

    This vid is a bit boring compared to most click-bait on YouTube but it gets the point across that being alone is ok & normal for some people. I also find the vid very alluring as a life choice.
    If you're wondering why you don't have hundreds of friends on Facebook & don't really socialise with many people if any, then that could be normal for you.
    Also, not having to rely on other people to maintain your energy levels (extrovert) means you can focus on your goals & improvement.
     
  20. RxR

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Aug 16, 2019

    Posts: 1,355

    The guy in the vid has autistic physical traits. Of course he enjoys being alone. He can hardly be lonely :)