Family dispute incoming

Haze said:
Sounds like a "cool story bro" thread...

Where op needs to learn how to man up and sit down and talk to his family, kinda seems like this is why his sister got a house and he got nothing, because he has nothing to do with them and is incapable of talking to his mum
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There's a lot of assuming going on there.

I speak to my mum every day and see her every week. I thought my mum could talk to me, but have found out that's not so.

I've been clear that I'm intending to talk about this, that was in the first post. Did you really manage to miss that? In 10 pages of thread?
 
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Haze said:
Sounds like a "cool story bro" thread...

Where op needs to learn how to man up and sit down and talk to his family, kinda seems like this is why his sister got a house and he got nothing, because he has nothing to do with them and is incapable of talking to his mum
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I think you must either be trolling or projecting pretty hard, because from what OP has told us this is just not true.
 
HungryHippos said:
Simpler to leave inheritance to direct children and let them distribute to grandchildren probably.
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When my Mum died there were 3 grandchildren involved.
One of them got twice as much as my two girls but I can say 100% that they weren't bothered because the other child had been Nanny reared.
What did upset them was the other grandchild had a free pass to the bungalow, he could walk in and out any time he wanted where my daughters were turned away at the door and had to make telephone appointments where 90% of them got turned down.
This also meant that the other grandchild didn't know this but was led to believe my daughters just weren't bothered with her.
Thankfully his Mum confirmed it and said that other family members were also constantly turned away.
I also had a free pass to go anytime.
 
Terminal_Boy said:
Selling a house for less than market value will quickly have the tax folks and the financial police knocking on your door and the solicitor involved (who’s paid by the state) will be asked to explain themselves as well.
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Is this a joke? People sell property to family below market value all the time and it's absolutely fine.
 
Had a chat with my Dad a couple of years ago and given he's normally a 1 minute call kind of guy and we'd been talking for ages before it was discussed I could tell he was uncomfortable.

Crux of it was that whatever we had discussed previously re inheritance was off the cards. He (they) felt they needed to provide more support to my sister & her boys. I am very happy (for a shed load of reasons) about this and told him so.

I think @potatolord has the right idea to discuss this in a non confrontational matter. Good luck because families can be rubbish.
 
randomshenans said:
Why do you HAVE to? Move on.

The lying is probably because the fear of this level of reaction.

Who cares? I don't give an arse what my parents do with their property or assets. Give them to charity for all I care. It's theirs to do with what they want.

It sounds like you feel something is "unfair" but it just is what it is... why do you feel so deeply bothered by it?
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Its so ******* easy for you people to just say "WhY dO yOu FeEl bOtHeRereD aBoUt IUt?"

Because his mom lied to him? Gave his sister a house?
It can make a person feel like their mother does not value them that much, its a natural human reaction to feel that way. Especially if that kind of boon could have really helped.
It isn't entitlement to feel left out after your parents do such things.

Its perfectly normal to feel these things.

So many edgy people in this thread.
 
I've always told my parents to be as transparent as possible. Whatever they decide just tell us both as we honestly don't care for the money, we care for them not what they have. If you're orientated around money and assets, then its just sad.

Hell i'd be happy if my parents went on more holidays and enjoyed life as they deserve it instead of hoarding what they have made in their lifetime.
 
We're going through a rather interesting inheritance from my grandmother at the moment and is causing a family rift.

Ultimately, my stance on these things come down to entitlement. If someone has decided they wish to do something with something that they own, that's their choice and you need to respect it.

Of course you have the benefit of asking your mother why she has done what she has done but at the end of the day she is your mother and doesn't need to answer to you.
 
My first cousin on my mothers side fiddled a load of money from our grandfather whilst he was dying. She took him to the cleaners whilst he was vulnerable because she got herself in a load of debt. Only after when dishing everything out did they realise the bank accounts had been ransacked. She flew from the US to Poland so the whole thing was planned from the get go.

I never really communicated with my grandfather due to language barrier so got nothing but that didn't really bother me. It was a three way split between my mother, uncle and my cousin. Her father/my uncle didn't speak to her for years and my mother doesn't really have anything to do with her anymore. She just gets the gossip from her brother.

Her father/my uncle spent 30000 dollars on a posh wedding which we went to in the mid 00's. We all sat on a seperate table whilst the grooms family were all front and centre even though they never spent a dime. Typical Americans. She got her karma in the end as her husband ended up as an alcoholic wife beater and they got divorced after squandering their fortune.

She never let me play with her Lego either when I used to visit as a kid so should have seen it coming when I was 5 years old. Turned out to be a massive narc in the end.



My point to the OP is that I wouldn't lose a load of sleep over it. Everyone has weird goings on with their family. Just look at the royals! It might be that your sister is a bit of a waste of space and your mother has taken pity on her. Whereas you have taken control of your own life and your mother is immensely proud of that.

The whole thing with your mother not telling the truth might be because of how you would react and she doesn't want the hassle. Only way to figure this out is to sit down with her and ask her why she lied to you.
 
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Lopéz said:
I have to say I don't envy you here potatolord.

There are a lot of comments in here telling you to not be bothered/move on/forget it but I am not so certain that they would feel that way if they were in your position.

I'd be very annoyed if I were in your position, mainly over the deceit that has been involved.
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Yeah the deceit would be the only thing that would annoy me cos it shows they either don't trust me or have some sort of issue with me.
 
Lopéz said:
You sound like my mother.
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Son... Is that you?

I guess it depends on the dynamics/values in your own family. I don't believe my mother has to answer to me especially if it was something about what she has decided to do with her own money/possessions. It would have nothing to do with me so how dare I demand she tell me why she has done something. It just doesn't sit right with me.

Of course if I was in this position I could have an opinion on the matter but that doesn't mean I'm entitled to know everything about what she has done if she doesn't wish to tell me.
 
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