Yeah no issue with this sort of thing.
Actions have consequences and I see no reason a parent should be expected to give inheritance to kids who were never there, or worse.
Family dispute incoming
- Thread starter potatolord
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Yeah no issue with this sort of thing.
Actions have consequences and I see no reason a parent should be expected to give inheritance to kids who were never there, or worse.
Soldato
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I think my irony meter just exploded......
Soldato
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No one is entitled to an inheritance. If you get one, then great. If not, so be it.
Very strange thread. Nearly on par with the one from a few months back where the person wasn't even dead yet and the poster was asking what to do with the money.
Very strange thread. Nearly on par with the one from a few months back where the person wasn't even dead yet and the poster was asking what to do with the money.
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This.
While my opinion may differ from OP, the sensible thing to do with an emotional reaction is to stop and remove the emotion from it to have a clear discussion. Might sound pointless but seriously consider writing a letter. Don't send it to your mum but the act of writing it should help you formulate your thoughts and questions and what you want to get out of the conversation, as well as giving you the chance to review/rewrite it and strip out the emotion. Saying 'you lied to me' is very charged and immediately puts her into defensive mode not ready for open discussion.
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Yes, thanks. That's fair.
That's why I asked for advice in my opening post.
My worry is mainly that my mum is going to feel attacked, and I don't want to upset her. I don't think I can avoid the conversation though.
I'm intending to ask her why she couldn't tell me- I don't want to say she's lied as that will just be needlessly confrontational. I need to let her explain, and shut my mouth while she does. There may be a reason I don't know- but that's because I wasn't involved.
The house, and the money is gone, so there's little point going down that line. I can't change that and she can't magic money out of thin air.
As I have said, many times, I want to know why I was cut out of any decision here.
Because she knows money splits families.
Doubt if she's have told you you'd have been happy, then shes in an even harder position.
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In my opinion it goes both ways.
Absolutely you aren't entitled to inheritance. But you also aren't entitled to your kids caring for you for free.
You shouldn't expect from your parents. And they shouldn't from you.
Caporegime
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It all sounds good but I wouldn't say the last sentence to her. At the end of the day, it is not your decision, it is solely hers.
I would rather ask "Why did you feel you couldn't trust me enough to let me know earlier? I don't care about the money."
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Thanks.
I'm surprised by how many people have just assumed I'm a scumbag. I probably shouldn't be, but there you are.
There's a big difference between the hypothetical and my reality.
Soldato
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Sounds like it is really about the money, otherwise why care about the decision?
A thread about inheritance is always going to go crazy. Because there are so many differing and strong views about it.
Like many things I have life.. Its because people don't talk about it that it often rips up families.
Everyone should have the maturity to discuss it.
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That might be the most useful reply i've had, so thanks.
Heh, I wasn't intending to say the last sentence to her- I don't want a shouting match!
Man of Honour
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You're missing the point that he was told he'd get 50% and now the house has gone.
He just wants to ask why?
I see no problem in that to be honest.
Considering the OP said they're 'fuming' about the money, more lies wont help!
For me there's a difference.
I'd have no issue us all getting getting nothing. But I would have issue with my sisters getting 50:50 and myself getting 0.
Especially if it came out of the blue.
I wouldn't blame my sisters. But in this case I wouldn't be helping with any care costs etc.
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Thanks- another helpful.suggestion.
I was running through approaches in my mind last night, but it would would probably be helpful to write it down.
Must. NOT. Do. Flowchart.
I'd go one further and ask if the mum and or sister are fit.
Soldato
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Personally not bothered. My parents will probably leave things equally to me and my sister, but if they didn't, so be it. I won't be asking them what their plans are, if they choose to tell me then that's fine. They might skip over me and leave it to the grandkids, which is fine too.
I haven't already banked anything in my mind (sounds like some people have), so it doesn't matter.
We are a small family and never argue about anything, and there is never any wider family drama. So maybe that's why Im not bothered. Some families are constant drama.
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