Family dispute incoming

Maybe there is some financial problems your sister has and she told your mother, and then asked to keep it quiet because she didn't want to be embarrassed in front of you?

The point I'm making is she might not have lied to undermine you. But she didn't want you to think bad of your sister.

This is assuming your sister hasn't been lying to your mother giving her a sob story and didn't want you looking into it.

I doubt your mother lied to you for the hell of it.

If I was you I'd be trying to find out why she lied about it. Ask her what your sister said to her. Then ask your sister separately to see if the stories add up.
 
Housey said:
You’re not owed inheritance. If you’re lucky you get some. When alive it’s your parent's money to do with as they wish.
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Housey, you're a smart, level headed guy - you're correct, but that isn't the issue. The issue is that none of this was discussed with the OP. All he has been told is his sister has either been given or sold a £300k house.

What's your thoughts on how this has been handled?
 
ivrytwr3 said:
The issue is that none of this was discussed with the OP. All he has been told is...
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It is his mother. Why should she have to discuss what she does with her own money with her son!?

I'd understand a mother having to discuss something with their child if they were involved equally with something but it's mental to me you guys expect that she has to have discussions with her child over what she wants to do with her own money.

Mother: I'm going to do this
OP: I don't think you should do that
Mother: OK... But I'm still going to do it.

Then what?
 
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ivrytwr3 said:
Housey, you're a smart, level headed guy - you're correct, but that isn't the issue. The issue is that none of this was discussed with the OP. All he has been told is his sister has either been given or sold a £300k house.

What's your thoughts on how this has been handled?
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The OP actually said they are 'fuming' about the money, of course it is the issue. People are naive if they think its just about honesty here.
 
I would bet my own inheritance that despite saying its not about the money that it's definitely about the money.

I would also assume that OP would find the answers he wants from his mother with some self awareness.
 
ivrytwr3 said:
The issue is that none of this was discussed with the OP. All he has been told is his sister has either been given or sold a £300k house.
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Even this isn't an issue, she isn't obliged to discuss her financial decision making or any agreements she might make with other family members.

The only issue, which is more of an emotional issue, is that seemingly since the documented ownership change in 2021, she has apparently lied and said she still owns the house.

Given the OP has used language like "I'm fuming", "a relationship ender", "in my rage" - maybe she's just the sort of person who wants to avoid conflict and didn't want to deal with the negative reaction.

Edit - all of which is before even knowing if the property was gifted or bought.
 
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Lopéz said:
It's not necessarily fine, there are implications for CGT and maybe inheritance tax as well if mum croaks it in the not too distant future.
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Paying CGT is a normal part of the process of selling a second home regardless of whether it's sold at or below market value and to suggest that "finance police will be knocking on the door" or solicitors will need to explain themselves due to selling below market value is pretty ridiculous.
Doubt it will impact IHT in any way other than a positive one.
 
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BowdonUK said:
Maybe there is some financial problems your sister has and she told your mother, and then asked to keep it quiet because she didn't want to be embarrassed in front of you?

The point I'm making is she might not have lied to undermine you. But she didn't want you to think bad of your sister.

This is assuming your sister hasn't been lying to your mother giving her a sob story and didn't want you looking into it.

I doubt your mother lied to you for the hell of it.

If I was you I'd be trying to find out why she lied about it. Ask her what your sister said to her. Then ask your sister separately to see if the stories add up.
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Yep, good points. To my knowledge, my sister is pretty financially secure, but I could be wrong.

I need to have the conversation and find out why she didn't feel she could talk to me.
 
Junglist said:
It is his mother. Why should she have to discuss what she does with her own money with her son!?

I'd understand a mother having to discuss something with their child if they were involved equally with something but it's mental to me you guys expect that she has to have discussions with her child over what she wants to do with her own money.

Mother: I'm going to do this
OP: I don't think you should do that
Mother: OK... But I'm still going to do it.

Then what?
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No one is saying he wants to dictate what his mum does with his money, you have made your own wrong assumption on that fact. He wants to know why his Mum MAY have gifted a £300k asset to his sister.

As a parent i would have no issues discussing inheritance and i would want an even split. If one was doing much better than the other, then a grown up discussion would have to be had. As a parent you want to to do right by your kids, you do not want to be the cause of any mis-information, resentment or anything causing a wedge between them. The time for discussion is now, it's too late when i/his mum have shuffled off.
 
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People are still posting and missing the big thing about this, he was told he'd get 50% but he was lied to and this is while he is still in contact with her every week.
He has a right to ask why it has changed even if it changes nothing.
I want to know why my Mum gave me money but I can't ask her and I have to live with that every day.
 
SexyGreyFox said:
he was told he'd get 50%
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Of what?

All i've seen him post is that he's expecting a 50/50 split of inheritance. That doesn't appear to have changed at all.

If his mum has chosen to gift/sell some of her property now, that's the OPs (or your) own assumptions coming into play, assuming that meant 50% of the holiday home was coming his way.
 
Junglist said:
We're going through a rather interesting inheritance from my grandmother at the moment and is causing a family rift.

Ultimately, my stance on these things come down to entitlement. If someone has decided they wish to do something with something that they own, that's their choice and you need to respect it.

Of course you have the benefit of asking your mother why she has done what she has done but at the end of the day she is your mother and doesn't need to answer to you.
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That house is gone. I get that.

I also know she can do what she wants with her own stuff.

However, it would have been nice to have been told- some honesty. It's like a kick in the guts to know she's lied to me, for years.

I hope your inheritance stuff goes better than mine- I really do.
 
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Kenai said:
Of what?

All i've seen him post is that he's expecting a 50/50 split of inheritance. That doesn't appear to have changed at all.

If his mum has chosen to gift/sell some of her property now, that's the OPs (or your) own assumptions coming into play, assuming that meant 50% of the holiday home was coming his way.
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So 50% of what's left? I think a house may have made a dent in the overall package. That would be a hard pill to swallow if that is the reason given.
 
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