Fancy dress, am i being harsh!

[TW]Fox;20005838 said:
Rubbish. Unless you fear she will be sexualy assaulted against her will, then whether you care to admit it or not, it is her you do not trust, not them. You don't trust her ability to say no or not to encourage things.
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You think going out dressing in a burlesque style designed to titillate isn't going to encourage things?
 
Mat said:
You think going out dressing in a burlesque style designed to titillate isn't going to encourage things?
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Not if you trust her and that trust isn't misplaced, no. This is how functioning adults in healthy relationships live their lives.

e : also this :

[TW said:
Fox] She has the ability to say no - and its this which the OP doesn't trust.
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I used to be like you OP, but realised I had become stupidly paranoid. If your GF loves you she wont do anything to hurt you. Guys used to approach my GF a lot when she went out, but all you need is trust and if she loves you she will tell the guys to do one.
 
why dont you simply explain to her that you are worried for her safety because some people see it as permision to do what they want. Obviously she doesnt have an issue going with her mates dressed like that and doesnt have the same idea about men as you.

Your just being protective which is normal but shes a big girl!

If i was you and it wasnt a trust issue as you claim I would just ask her to drop me a text if she can to let me know shes ok so I didnt have to worry so much. No i wouldnt call her if she didn text me as shes drunk.
 
I know what the OP is going on about.

Its not really her he has to worry about, its all those idiotic lads who 'go out on the pull' and think they can get anyone single or not. They are the people who will cause trouble, not your girlfriend. I've seen it many times when im out with my friends who are girls and they are all dancing then you get these RANDOM drunk guys who think they are Ricky Martin and try and dance close or speak to them on the dance floor thinking they have any chance at all anyway!?

You just have to trust her, give her this chance and hear back in the morning we have all done it.

However I have dressed up in fancy dress before in a club to spy on my girlfriend luckily there was another group of people dressed up for a birthday party so I just stood near them all night to fit in, some of them did ask why I was standing next to them all night and they didnt know me but it worked perfectly and nothing happened.
 
Jimz said:
I know what the OP is going on about.

Its not really her he has to worry about, its all those idiotic lads who 'go out on the pull' and think they can get anyone single or not. They are the people who will cause trouble, not your girlfriend. I've seen it many times when im out with my friends who are girls and they are all dancing then you get these RANDOM drunk guys who think they are Ricky Martin and try and dance close or speak to them on the dance floor thinking they have any chance at all anyway!?

You just have to trust her, give her this chance and hear back in the morning we have all done it.

However I have dressed up in fancy dress before in a club to spy on my girlfriend luckily there was another group of people dressed up for a birthday party so I just stood near them all night to fit in, some of them did ask why I was standing next to them all night and they didnt know me but it worked perfectly and nothing happened.
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You glorious *******, you had me going until the last paragraph :)
 
If it is a trust issue, I would have to share a belief I swear by

"You have to give someone enought rope to hang themselfs"

Basicly means that if you think your always stoping someone from cheating (hanging) you will never be able to trust them because you will always think you have stopped them.

Let them prove you wrong so that they can gain your trust and if they dont would you really want to be with someone that wanted to cheat on you...
 
brightside229 said:
Girlfriend is going on a night out for some ones birthday where she works, she works in a factory and all the other girls that work their are pretty much chavs, i kid you not!

Anyway they are all going in fancy dress which just so happens to be burlesque dancers, (google it if unsure, basically strippers) And all the rest of them are pretty much going to get attention from guys, and pull, even though most of the girls she is going with are not single... aparently what happends in (blabla town) stays in blabla town...

This alarms me!! And I have told her that I don’t want her to go, am I being un reasonable to be apprehensive about her going out until 2am, which is when the limo picks them up, 100 miles away from where I live dressed as a hooker?
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if she is going to cheat whether on purpose or because she can't control herself on a night out, then she is going to do this sooner or later. may as well be sooner imo,

best thing you can do is trust her, let her go and enjoy herself, if she messes up, you can leave her and move on and find someone who can control themselves. this won't be the only time she gets to go out.
 
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