Girlfriend's Contributions
- Thread starter stuie
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Soldato
I've pondered this very issue recently. I've not been with my GF very long and not necessarily with this one but it's had me thinking what to do if I ever chose to have someone live with me.
Current GF doesn't really earn much and rents and has one child. I've got two properties and an OK salary and two children who live with me. We would easily fit into the house I live in. However, I've never really been sure what would happen if I moved them in and it went pear-shaped a few years down the line.
Current GF doesn't really earn much and rents and has one child. I've got two properties and an OK salary and two children who live with me. We would easily fit into the house I live in. However, I've never really been sure what would happen if I moved them in and it went pear-shaped a few years down the line.
Deleted member 66701
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Deleted member 66701
Same here - had a joint bank account since even before we were married and everything goes in there and everything comes out of it as well.
My wife has an aversion to spending money anyway, so I do it for her
She asked me if I was due a gfx card update last week - "well, I wasn't thinking about one but now you've bought it up!".
When she moves in.. your house becomes "our" house and slowly over time she'll start changing more and more and you'll be happy to allow the changes. It will be a case of "I'll ask her if its OK" and thats the point where all bills should then be split 50/50.
Until then I would ask that she contributes enough to cover her daily/monthly usage of water/leccy/gas/food + storage usage (lets be honest, thats what it is essentially as she'll end up occupying more than one room in one way or another) as you will lose all of that and everything costs something.
Food is probably the most difficult one as you may have different tastes and it may be easier to just order/shop for food separately, if not set a budget and just go halfsies on it.
You need to work out if you want all things to be equal or if you're happy to split regardless, for example sometimes in the trolley there will be certain lady products that you will never ever use and they do add up. Its purely personal preference, I don't much care but she often buys her hair dye out of her own pocket. My only stipulation is that the budget remains unbroken and if it does, extras we wouldnt buy that are expensive then get paid for separately by the person using it.
What would I do? I'd work out how much shes actually going to cost you with the above and then I'd go and ask her what she thinks is right to contribute, if the figure is near enough I'd go with that, if its well over I'd tell her and see if shes still comfortable, its its stupidly low I'd tell her to try again. I guess I like to see what kind of person I'm dealing with really.
She'll want to contribute though so she doesn't feel like shes staying in hotel stuie where if she breaks she buys, it won't feel like a home if she isn't helping.. at least if she's normal.
If I 'rented' a room out to a mate in my house now, which I have done not so long ago I'd ask them for £240 a month and thats everything included except food. Cheaper than any room currently where I live except one. If I rented it out to a stranger it would be £320.
Until then I would ask that she contributes enough to cover her daily/monthly usage of water/leccy/gas/food + storage usage (lets be honest, thats what it is essentially as she'll end up occupying more than one room in one way or another) as you will lose all of that and everything costs something.
Food is probably the most difficult one as you may have different tastes and it may be easier to just order/shop for food separately, if not set a budget and just go halfsies on it.
You need to work out if you want all things to be equal or if you're happy to split regardless, for example sometimes in the trolley there will be certain lady products that you will never ever use and they do add up. Its purely personal preference, I don't much care but she often buys her hair dye out of her own pocket. My only stipulation is that the budget remains unbroken and if it does, extras we wouldnt buy that are expensive then get paid for separately by the person using it.
What would I do? I'd work out how much shes actually going to cost you with the above and then I'd go and ask her what she thinks is right to contribute, if the figure is near enough I'd go with that, if its well over I'd tell her and see if shes still comfortable, its its stupidly low I'd tell her to try again. I guess I like to see what kind of person I'm dealing with really.
She'll want to contribute though so she doesn't feel like shes staying in hotel stuie where if she breaks she buys, it won't feel like a home if she isn't helping.. at least if she's normal.
If I 'rented' a room out to a mate in my house now, which I have done not so long ago I'd ask them for £240 a month and thats everything included except food. Cheaper than any room currently where I live except one. If I rented it out to a stranger it would be £320.
Soldato
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- 21 Apr 2007
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I think I may have said this before, but does anyone find it sad that the standard response to this these days (rightly or wrongly) is to call in the solicitors.
"I love you honey, lets move in together..."
"Sign here please."
Yes it is sad, but that is what has happened due to the erosion of mens rights in divorce courts. Also just by letting your girlfriend live with you I found out (i'm no expert here and this is american law) but if she lives with you long enough she is then entitled potentially to a portion of your house....
Marriage for example has no benefit for a man and all for a woman, she decides to cheat on you she walks out with half your stuff (this happened to a close friend and I saw it all unravel myself). You also don't have to go very far to find tons and tons of evidence of this occurring all over the internet.
TLDR men need to stop thinking with their penis and start realising what kind of financial and legal trouble they could land up in if they do not seek appropriate legal advice.
TLDR2 Disney films told you a lie, Snow White divorced the prince after cheating on him (having a gang bang with the seven dwarves) and took half his castle then claimed child support, stopped him seeing his kid and demanded alimony.
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Man of Honour
Eh? This has got nothing to do with feminism or anything like that, the situation could easily reversed where the woman earns far more than the man.
Soldato
This might be of interest.
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/r...icial-interest-if-your-partner-owns-the-home/
Makes me wonder whether this 50/50 business where one person earns significantly less is a good idea if your a home owner moving someone in.
If they pay 50% which might mean they end up paying more than had they lived on their own, could that not be considered they lived there at their detriment on the basis it was now their home too.
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/r...icial-interest-if-your-partner-owns-the-home/
Makes me wonder whether this 50/50 business where one person earns significantly less is a good idea if your a home owner moving someone in.
If they pay 50% which might mean they end up paying more than had they lived on their own, could that not be considered they lived there at their detriment on the basis it was now their home too.
Soldato
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- 21 Apr 2007
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Which situation do you think is far more common? and why is it more common?
Soldato
- Joined
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If you do that, prepare your Angus because it's about to be well cooked.
You can do it but just see a lawyer and ensure you are well informed of the potential implications.
I find it very sad. However unfortunately it's also the sensible option. There are far too many horror stories about people losing everything for you to not consider it
indeed, kinda my point
Man of Honour
It's almost like women don't get paid as much as men!
Caporegime
3.5 your salary x (T + R + F + E) - solicitor fees - Pre-nup. Get everything written in triplicate and display it at the town hall for 60 days.
Then if there are no objections allow her to cohabit for a 21 day trial period with reduced writes of access to the bathroom and other high maintenance areas that could invalidate your mortgage.
Then if there are no objections allow her to cohabit for a 21 day trial period with reduced writes of access to the bathroom and other high maintenance areas that could invalidate your mortgage.
Where do I hire all these cheap women!? If women got paid less than men, no man would be able to get a job. Capitalism.
Associate
Payment in kind thats all you need
Work it out based on fair percentages. We have a joint account and need £2000 in there each month to cover mortgage, insurances, bills and basic food stuff. I pay £750 and the wife pays £1250. This works out at 37% of our respective salaries.
It does mean she has more take home than me but I certainly don't do badly or suffer from time.
It does mean she has more take home than me but I certainly don't do badly or suffer from time.
If you had a friend moving in and that friend was earning significantly less than you would you let them pay less due to having lower disposable income? Personally I think too many men are willing to give women a free ride. We are in an age of equality and so we need to apply it.
If for example the fridge broke after she moved in would you then pay the adjusted rate based on earnings, 50% each or you pay the lot?
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If for example the fridge broke after she moved in would you then pay the adjusted rate based on earnings, 50% each or you pay the lot?
Posted from Overclockers.co.uk App for Android
Why WOULDN'T YOU... It's the most sensible logical approach! I'm surprised it wasn't posted sooner.
Soldato
what would happen if you owned the house outright?