Associate
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- 20 Mar 2007
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- 1,909
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- Swansea Wales
Your only 22 ! You'll get over it, everyone does. Get out and get a life with other women. I'm 45 still haven't married no kids and having fun.
Heart broken
- Thread starter Ripper
- Start date
Just take a step back man, leave it as it is. I finished with my gf of 3.5 yrs in March. I was a wreck at the time, but put up a brave front. I started to ignore her and she wanted to get back cos she missed me. I cant comment on ** experience with writing letters and generally acting weird to get her back, but you really need to stop chasing her and sort yourself out.
With regards to seeing her wiv a guy, its not easy and it will make u feel sick, but you just have to realise that it will happen at some point.
This is life, it has its ups and downs. Just keep your chin up, look after yourself and chill with your mates. Time works wonders
Soldato
- Joined
- 13 Aug 2004
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- 8,479
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- England
As everyone has said, take a step back and stop having things remind you of her. Got a present from her in your bedroom? Put it in a box, get it out of sight, focus on yourself and your life.
Associate
- Joined
- 14 Oct 2007
- Posts
- 714
- Location
- Manchester
I can only re-iterate what people have said on here. It's best to just try and move on, and put any items that remind you of her out of sight.
I broke up with my gf of almost 2 years in November last year, didn't know how to deal with it though because she was the first one I'd actually had a long-term relationship with. We decided we'd still stay friends and we'd "still be there for each other". I won't go into too much detail but basically less than two months later she was in a proper relationship with her best mate, who was as they usually are, a girl. This, as you can expect, made things a bit more awkward and way more confusing for me.
We still see each other now, we have this kinda group thing where her and her girlfriend and me and my best mate get together (we're all mutual friends of each other) and watch a film or two or whatever. It still hurts me deep down whenever I see her and her girlfriend do anything more than hold hands (in fact that hurts too), but I just tell myself it'd be daft to expect them to only be affectionate to a degree when they're around me.
On reflection it would probably have been best to cut all ties with her by the time we'd broken up, but there were still things that made that difficult (I'd already paid for us lot to go to a concert in January and I'd pretty much already got her her Christmas present). There's still that feeling of hurt there now, almost a year after. But I guess that's because I still see her and because I still kept ties with her in the first place. Anyway uni's given me something to look forward to in terms of new people to be met (and bedded
).
Again, just try to move her out of your life. This can't be done quickly and it's never just suddenly done. But the sooner you do it, the sooner the pain will subside and the sooner you'll feel better.
I broke up with my gf of almost 2 years in November last year, didn't know how to deal with it though because she was the first one I'd actually had a long-term relationship with. We decided we'd still stay friends and we'd "still be there for each other". I won't go into too much detail but basically less than two months later she was in a proper relationship with her best mate, who was as they usually are, a girl. This, as you can expect, made things a bit more awkward and way more confusing for me.
We still see each other now, we have this kinda group thing where her and her girlfriend and me and my best mate get together (we're all mutual friends of each other) and watch a film or two or whatever. It still hurts me deep down whenever I see her and her girlfriend do anything more than hold hands (in fact that hurts too), but I just tell myself it'd be daft to expect them to only be affectionate to a degree when they're around me.
On reflection it would probably have been best to cut all ties with her by the time we'd broken up, but there were still things that made that difficult (I'd already paid for us lot to go to a concert in January and I'd pretty much already got her her Christmas present). There's still that feeling of hurt there now, almost a year after. But I guess that's because I still see her and because I still kept ties with her in the first place. Anyway uni's given me something to look forward to in terms of new people to be met (and bedded
).Again, just try to move her out of your life. This can't be done quickly and it's never just suddenly done. But the sooner you do it, the sooner the pain will subside and the sooner you'll feel better.
Associate
- Joined
- 14 Oct 2007
- Posts
- 714
- Location
- Manchester
Haha that's one way of looking at it. But no she said it "just happened" and I didn't really question her feelings or her sexual preferences. At the end of the day she can go for who she wants, she's no longer mine. She's already said she's bi, but tbh I wouldn't think any less of her at all if she was completely gay. I think though by the time uni really kicks in I won't really see her that much anymore, if at all. It's a shame, because we were really good friends before we went out and we had a really healthy relationship to begin with, but it seems that it went in the same direction as Ripper's. I might end up losing a good friend but that's life. You meet more friends and you move on.
Ripper said:You know, if that was the case with my relationship I would just laugh and move on. I wish she was gay I really do
lol It's a really wierd feeling you know mate. I probably would have felt worse if she started seein another guy instead. I shoulda seen it coming though you know, she'd been close to her best mate ever since I'd known her, but I'd just come to terms with it and always told myself that nothing else would happen, and it never did till we actually broke up.
oh no you did the letter thing, youre gonna hate yourself for that in time to come lol, youre supposed to burn it after you write it, not give it to them
by the time you bump into each other when your out it wont bother you in the slightest
dont watch films with new women, go for drinks, which are more likely to lead to the only thing that will heal you
by the time you bump into each other when your out it wont bother you in the slightest
dont watch films with new women, go for drinks, which are more likely to lead to the only thing that will heal you
For the love of god, why don't you just go the whole hog and threaten to top yourself.
Everyone but you knew she was not interested any more, it is over, do you need us to draw a picture for you?
One thing I neglected to mention in this thread was the fact that this other girl actually text me last thursday night and said "where will you be around 1-1.30? You should come here and take me somewhere
". I obviously bottled it as it was two days after i'd split up with my ex. I could have had some action last night too if I really wanted but again I just wasn't ready. I'd convinced myself I needed a girl in my life but if it doesn't work with the ex I think i'll just take a backseat for a while.One thing I neglected to mention in this thread was the fact that this other girl actually text me last thursday night and said "where will you be around 1-1.30? You should come here and take me somewhere
Would you like a violin to go with the self pitty?
You say this but she still did things that made me think differently which I havn't gone into. I never felt 100% that it was over, there was always something giving me hope.
That was just a general comment, wasn't meant to sound pitiful.
Because you pressured her into it.
Perhaps. She still came here and told my mum she loved me when I went away for the weekend. She still told her mum she loved me. She still cried her eyes out when it ended.
I'm trying not to argue with you but surely you can see why I still haven't given up when these things take place?
No I can not see it, if everything was hunky dory then you would not have posted in the first place. You are clinging onto the smallest scrap so you do not have to accept she has moved on.
Its my first real relationship, I don't have any experience of this so its obviously knocked me for 6. If she'd cheated on me or vice versa it'd be easier to deal with, but even today her mum said her nan had asked why we'd split up and she didn't give her any sort of reason. I don't know what's going on in her head, neither do her parents.
I am ready to give up next week trust me. If she comes back and the worst happens i'll be cutting contact, i've realised thats the only way to go about it.
I am ready to give up next week trust me. If she comes back and the worst happens i'll be cutting contact, i've realised thats the only way to go about it.
So she sods off on holiday without a care in the world getting up to who knows what while you wait until next week!
Why he cant just let her go on holiday without him forcing his feelings into her head first is beyond me
if she cares, she will miss you, if she doesnt, she wont.. its that simple
Chillout. Swearies!