Heart broken

One thing we've done in our relationship is not moaned when we decided we wanted to go out with mates. I've never had a problem with it. But the other week when her mate split up with her long term boyfriend, prior to that one of this girls friends was reccommending she split up with him, so thats why it bothers me a little. She has her own mind but even the strongest of minds can be turned.
 
One thing we've done in our relationship is not moaned when we decided we wanted to go out with mates. I've never had a problem with it. But the other week when her mate split up with her long term boyfriend, prior to that one of this girls friends was reccommending she split up with him, so thats why it bothers me a little. She has her own mind but even the strongest of minds can be turned.
It was probably good advice!

People don't leave long-term relationships on a whim or a suggestion from a friend. I give my friends advice with their absolute best interests at heart.

Sometimes yes, I have said "Look, if it isn't fun any more, end it. You're too young to stay unhappy in a relationship." I wish someone had said the same to me more than once in the past.

The girl I've said that to most recently is still with him, they have their ups and downs, and she has her own mind.

She /needs/ the conversation, a bit of analysis with friends, and they will recommend to her what they think is best for her.

Do you want what is best for her? Or yourself?

It's pretty insulting to her that you think she's so flighty that she'll base her decision purely on what her friends might say, other than what she thinks for herself. They might say and suggest a few things, but all it will do is clarify stuff in her own mind.

Let go.
 
Just let it go Ripper, your are coming across as desperate, I am almost sure she feels pressured into being with you, I seems obvious to everyone else here that she is or has moved on.

If she wanted to be with you why not just say that, she is worried she is getting to send you over the edge, you even mentioned so much yourself.
 
I know, i'm a complete nonce but i've never felt this bad about anything before so its ridiculously hard. I just never expected it to happen, extremely naive of me I know.
 
You never forget your first true love, you should know this.

Just be a dick to her, and she will want you bad. Then you can take pleasure in showing off your new bird.

Or if you are not capable of a new bird, get an escort whos PORN STAR gorgeous and use her as arm candy...

I must reiterate that my original suggestion of getting sucked off by a hooker in Amsterdam was best.
 
Serious one, yes.

I moved back to my mothers house last week after nearly 6 years with my GF and a year living with her.

She wants me back, and partly i want to go back too, but I have a lot of crap that needs sorting in my own life and i think that its best that i get my head together and sort myself out down here for a bit.

I still text her a bit, but I realise that i gotta keep out of the way until we decide whether to get back on track or go our seperate ways.

I think its time you did the same, just take a step back and accept the situation.

Getting advice from the outside isnt always the best option, just man up and think for yourself.

Other people dont know the ins and outs of things, Ive had numerous amounts of gossip going around from stupid things that ive done, and stupid stuff my lass did.

Only 2 people know the full story about stuff.

Screw the forums for information. Work it out for yourself. But dont act like a desperate fool
 
Yes, this is the ULTIMATE turn off for women.

Its not just the impact that it has on womens opinions, its the fact that you are just destroying any ounce of dignity you have left.

Fair enough, you might be upset and miss someone, but you dont wanna pester them all the time because it makes you look sooo pathetic. And if you were to step back and look at what you are doing, you yourself would realise you were a pleb :)
 
In truth if her friends are telling her to be single / they are all single, then it will put a lot of pressure on to her and if she has doubts then it will amplify them a lot. It could be that she is really unsure of the situation, or that she is still afraid a little of losing you, but you do not want to pressure her in to staying with you - it will only make things worse where she could end up resenting / cheating on you.

If it is looking like a break up, then let it go and see what happens. If she does get in touch take it from there, but this is down to her as you know where you stand.

I would cut contact as others have said. It is the only way she will know what she wants.
 
I know, i'm a complete nonce but i've never felt this bad about anything before so its ridiculously hard. I just never expected it to happen, extremely naive of me I know.

Nothing in this universe stays the same forever, nothing is permanent, this is the law of life, it's something that cannot ever be escaped. All you can do is appreciate what you have while you have it, and always know tomorrow it could be gone. Learn to cling onto less and appreciate more of everything around you...

The flow of life is ever changing, it is alive, if you want to be happy then you must not resist this flow. Pain comes when you try to resist what it, when you dig your heels in and try to stop life from moving along. It's incredibly hard, but if something is gone then there is no way to get it back, you must let go.

Good Luck
 
I moved back to my mothers house last week after nearly 6 years with my GF and a year living with her.

She wants me back, and partly i want to go back too, but I have a lot of crap that needs sorting in my own life and i think that its best that i get my head together and sort myself out down here for a bit.

I still text her a bit, but I realise that i gotta keep out of the way until we decide whether to get back on track or go our seperate ways.

I think its time you did the same, just take a step back and accept the situation.

Getting advice from the outside isnt always the best option, just man up and think for yourself.

Other people dont know the ins and outs of things, Ive had numerous amounts of gossip going around from stupid things that ive done, and stupid stuff my lass did.

Only 2 people know the full story about stuff.

Screw the forums for information. Work it out for yourself. But dont act like a desperate fool

This is prob the best advice on this thread tbh.
 
I know, i'm a complete nonce but i've never felt this bad about anything before so its ridiculously hard. I just never expected it to happen, extremely naive of me I know.


Girls come and go.
You will find another and forget about this ine somewhat.

You will always think what would it have been like if you have done this or that or something else happened but even that type of thinking only comes up for short spurts and its nothing painfull.

Just dont get with someone straight away, because as soon as you do the flood of Hawt girls will be under your nose and some will want you while you have just trapped yourself:p
 
Well we finally saw each other again last night. Went out for a meal and then went back to hers for a bit. All throughout the meal and drive home she was as chatty as ever but then it got a bit awkward when we were at hers. Guess i'll just have to persevere for now. We decided we'd see each other again Friday so we'll see how it goes again from there.

I feel a lot better now, still not totally out of the woods but ten times better than I felt a few days ago, the weekend away at my aunties really helped.
 
Well we finally saw each other again last night. Went out for a meal and then went back to hers for a bit. All throughout the meal and drive home she was as chatty as ever but then it got a bit awkward when we were at hers. Guess i'll just have to persevere for now. We decided we'd see each other again Friday so we'll see how it goes again from there.

I feel a lot better now, still not totally out of the woods but ten times better than I felt a few days ago, the weekend away at my aunties really helped.

So while you were lavishing money on her she was **** a hoop but behind closed doors she was not that interested?

And would I be right in saying that it was you who mentioned seeing her on Friday not her?
 
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