Soldato
- Joined
- 13 Jan 2004
- Posts
- 23,972
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- South East
LOL! Love it.
Heart broken
- Thread starter Ripper
- Start date
LOL! Love it.
Are the alarm bells not ringing yet!?
We are back to the old "nobody will treat her like I can, I can give her the perfect life scenario again, she is the way she is, you can not change her to suit you.
Good plan, I am an advocate of nailing the mum.
I'm absolutely gutted. I got home and just went straight to my mums room in tears which is completely sad for a 22 year old but that was how bad I felt. Today mum and dad have phoned me and I can't talk properly on the phone
Why's that sad they're your Mum and Dad no matter how old you are? Easier said than done but I would have nothing more to do with her, women and their games and all that...
Soldato
- Joined
- 5 Jun 2007
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- 9,358
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- extremes.spacious.indelible
Can a Don close the thread on this point please?
Soldato
- Joined
- 24 Apr 2007
- Posts
- 7,567
- Location
- Southport
How about an OcUK group trip the Amsterdam then, for the benefit of the OP of course? 
I text her this morning and said "No regrets? are you 100% sure this is what you want?". to which she replied yes she is sure and she wants to work it out.
If she was sure she wanted out it would have happened last night and it would be over now, so I have to try, don't I? I can't give up that easily.
only if you think she is worth it. do you really see your whole future with her? if not, then don't bother. you will meet someone else. i've been through it also in the past, the pain fades and you do continue with life.
Yes, hence how bad i've felt over it all.
I'm trying, we're not seeing each other until Monday now. I have squash tomorrow night and I'm going to my aunties in Newark on Saturday until Sunday afternoon, back in time for the football. It's just the days which are difficult because I don't have anything to do for another 12 days, tried to go and play golf today but I really couldn't be arsed with it.
2-1 hideous emotional problems
5-1 seeping discharge
10-1 club foot
25-1 horrendous scarring
100-30 abusive relationship
40-1 Vaginismus
Has a Testicle.
Maybe she feels pressured into saying what you want!
Man of Honour
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- 5 Jun 2003
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- 92,023
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- Falling...
With respect mate, whilst I don't disagree with you, it's not what SHE wants.
Women RARELY want (really) what they need. You can't apply logic to emotions - especially love. She thinks she doesn't want you (she might not know and doesn't want to string you along for x more months), and, frankly, that's enough for her.
You can't make someone love you. I really, really wish you could, but you can't. Chalk it down to experience and move on.
Agreed.
The thing is you were together when you were both very young. You're both still growing up a lot, lots of hormoes and imbalances in your bodies are still happening. You need to both experience life a bit - this doesn't mean being ***** etc... it just means you need space to grow up, develop yourself and get to knwo yourselves. She's probably feeling a bit trapped, and you probably haven't had the chance to experience that and so have hooked onto that feeling and whilst she may have become jaded (not because you're a bad person, it's purely down to the fact she needs to spread her wings and feel less suffocated).
I went through exactly the same thing several years ago - but then again I was in my mid 20s so you can still get it wrong even with a lot of life experience. Love does a crazy thing to your body/mind/soul - it's not a rational characteristic at all.
Good luck mate - it'll suck for a long time, but try and move on and look at it in a positive way and seize the moment you can and try and look forward rather than backward. Enjoy your life, take up new hobbies etc..
Things will get better.... you won't see it yet, but they will. If you give her some time, maybe you might get some closure when you see her again and be able to move on - but don't hold onto the dream that you two may get back together - it's just not helpful to you.
Interesting thread so far
(yes hidden bump)
Anymore info ? ?
Not at the moment. I text her for a bit last night and I think I may have got my hopes up a bit too much after Wednesday. I think basically what she meant was that she wanted a few days to relax and she said she wanted to think about herself rather than how it will affect others (ie me). So basically the end is nigh I think and Monday could be the day.
She was complaining the other night that she is always tired and never seems to get much time to herself just to laze about. Almost as if saying this is my fault but I know its because she's started doing more stuff with her friends recently and I don't think she see's it like that. She says she wants to relax this weekend, but I know this will just involve seeing her friends all weekend which is something that will only further seperate us, what I wish she'd do is just do nothing all weekend, I think that'd help more.
Relaxing doesnt need to mean sitting around the house doing sod all on a weekend. Relaxing would be getting a break from the fact that she is breaking up with you and taking her mind from it, ie.. spending time with friends.
just accept it and do the same, spend time with your friends, unless you ditched them all years ago in the pursuit of love
just accept it and do the same, spend time with your friends, unless you ditched them all years ago in the pursuit of love
Dude, think about what you're saying.
She's tired lately, and it may be because she's seeing her friends more, but you seem to think that's a /bad/ thing?!
You've probably had a long period where it's just been you and her - which can be really nice - but you've got to realise that these periods come and go and you can't expect to be constantly latched-on all the time. When her good mates are home you simply have to allow her (without getting into a grump about it) more time away from you.
Why do you see her friends as the enemy? If time with them does separate you two, then so it will - everyone NEEDS friends. People aren't just themselves, they are also the people they choose to hang out with - and if that person with her chosen friends isn't for you, then so be it.
You simply CANNOT (sorry about caps but I need to get this across) deny her time with friends, and really, do you honestly want her to stay indoors and do nothing? That sounds really quite selfish, controlling, and not a good omen for times to come.
I think she needs her friends. She needs to talk about this with someone that isn't you.