How many DINKs here?

Someone once said to me, who already had 3 kids, and was pregnant with another and who subsequently had another 2 "Its the reason we are here" why not just have a couple of kids and be happy with that?
 
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Haggisman said:
Like I said, feel free to quote any of my posts where I "try to sell" having kids or even vaguely imply it's unacceptable not to have them
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Like *I* said, it sounds like that what you and others are aiming toward.

platinum87 said:
When you come up with excuses it is to convince yourself, not me, that it is the correct choice, this is a function of the mind.
I do not require any excuses to do anything, there is no need to develop various ideas to support my choices. A choice i have made is wrong, i knew it was wrong, yet i feel absolutely nothing, no regret, no hesitation, nothing.
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There's no blame or offense in not wanting something, so there's nothing to 'excuse'.
 
Yep no kids here, never wanted them and glad I stuck with that decision. Lots of people out there who should never be parents, they just do it because its the done thing but they aren't interested in it and are terrible parents.
 
Pawnless Endgame said:
Had to Google that and apparently it's an ethnic slur?
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Supposedly, yes, but I had to spend more time Googling it than usual before anything came up to substantiate that... and even then, it was a stretch.
Tink is a Scottish term meaning something that is dirty.
It has been assumed that it derives from the word Tinker, referring to travellers, Travellers, Irish Travellers, or Persons Of A Transient Nature... but there doesn't seem to be anything proving that tink and Tink are either the same, or that either word is actually a racial slur.
If it was substantially racist, I presume Tinkerbell would have been renamed and retconned by the ultra-woke Disney lot, as would Tinker Tailor, Soldier, Spy.
 
Colonel_Klinck said:
Yep no kids here, never wanted them and glad I stuck with that decision. Lots of people out there who should never be parents, they just do it because its the done thing but they aren't interested in it and are terrible parents.
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Benefits and increases their credits for housing. Think there's a strong correlation between fertility and stupidity. Never hear of benefit bums struggling to conceive.....
 
ttaskmaster said:
Like *I* said, it sounds like that what you and others are aiming toward.
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No, it doesn't. That might be what *you* are perceiving, but that's not the same thing at all.

I've tried to give a balanced view from both sides, pointing out that there are positives and negatives for whichever path an individual chooses to take, based on their own preference, and how much weight they assign to those positives and negatives. Whether you see the positives of having children as positives or not does not change the fact that they are positives, and that you've chosen to focus on one side of that, and ignore the counter, says more about you and your perception than what I've posted.

Again, please feel free to quote one of my posts which sounds like *I* am "trying to sell" having kids or even vaguely implying it's unacceptable not to have them, or at least have the good grace to not try and put words in my mouth.
 
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Single income and no kids. None that I know of anyway, but given how I used to put it about back in the day I wouldn't be at all surprised if there are a few offspring out there somewhere.
 
Haggisman said:
No, it doesn't. That might be what *you* are perceiving, but that's not the same thing at all.
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Yes it is what *I* am perceiving and that *is* what *I* said, in which case it *is* the same thing.

As for trying to sell - I asked you to list what aspects you thought were positive for those who didn't want kids, and why you thought they'd still consider them positive. You basically responded with things that would only appeal to those who wanted them.
You're presenting only one side of parenthood as if it were considered universally desirable, and portraying those who don't want that as somehow "missing out" on what is a highly subjective experience.

As for the "FACT" of these things you refer to as the "positives". For those that don't want kids, they're not positives at all. They're often the very reasons they don't want kids, so it's pretty poor to claim it a fact that they're positives. In truth, whether any given individual sees them as positives or not is very much the defining factor. I've known some people absolutely terrified at the thought of what you consider to be positives.

In the current discussion, among others' posts about people 'making excuses' for not wanting kids and so on, that all comes across as a sales pitch.
 
ttaskmaster said:
There's no blame or offense in not wanting something, so there's nothing to 'excuse'.
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I never said there is blame or offence i'm pointing out the psychological process which acts like a coping mechanism.

That is what excuses are when given voluntary, and this is very obviously for me with my particular behavioural conditions lets say, to notice.
ttaskmaster said:
In the current discussion, among others' posts about people 'making excuses' for not wanting kids and so on, that all comes across as a sales pitch.
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Its not a sales pitch i just dont believe the majority mean it.

I admit my post might make it seem like a pitch, and that i have a wife and 2 kids, however i would expect older members to think, "hold on a second here, platinum87 cant be writing like this"
Diddums said:
You having a laugh?
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Instead of immediately posting something maybe think a bit about it. Tell me what has changed in the state of humanity?
 
ttaskmaster said:
Yes it is what *I* am perceiving and that *is* what *I* said, in which case it *is* the same thing.

As for trying to sell - I asked you to list what aspects you thought were positive for those who didn't want kids, and why you thought they'd still consider them positive. You basically responded with things that would only appeal to those who wanted them.
You're presenting only one side of parenthood as if it were considered universally desirable, and portraying those who don't want that as somehow "missing out" on what is a highly subjective experience.

As for the "FACT" of these things you refer to as the "positives". For those that don't want kids, they're not positives at all. They're often the very reasons they don't want kids, so it's pretty poor to claim it a fact that they're positives. In truth, whether any given individual sees them as positives or not is very much the defining factor. I've known some people absolutely terrified at the thought of what you consider to be positives.

In the current discussion, among others' posts about people 'making excuses' for not wanting kids and so on, that all comes across as a sales pitch.
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Me listing what I see as positives in response to a direct request to do so is not "trying to sell" something :rolleyes:

Still waiting for that quote, which should be easy to provide given what you're claiming I've said?
 
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DIDK.
If everyone stopped having kids then the human race wouldn't last very long, which does have some plus points for the planet.
 
What about DINKWAD? Dual Income No Kids With A Dog - very popular place to be!

For reference both 31, we were waiting til we had a house (coming up to two years of owning now...) and was a case of "let's see what happens first - kid or dog come summer" - the dog won :D

We both want kids, at least we certainly did, but as others have eluded to the cost of living is silly, and the dog takes up a surprising amount of effort (read: surprising how much more effort than we expected, which was already quite a lot) so we've slowly drifted to no longer that fussed... Just wished we'd come to that conclusion before buying a house with kids in mind, could have gotten so much more land for the dog otherwise!
 
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gingergundog said:
Someone once said to me, who already had 3 kids, and was pregnant with another and who subsequently had another 2 "Its the reason we are here" why not just have a couple of kids and be happy with that?
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If I was richer I would most likely have another but I do believe it comes to a point where you can only give enough time to a certain amount of kids. I think 3 would just about be the max and one parent would absolutely have to be stay at home. I consider myself to be very lucky as I got a boy and girl so get to experience both sides.

bJN said:
What about DINKWAD? Dual Income No Kids With A Dog - very popular place to be!

For reference both 31, we were waiting til we had a house (coming up to two years of owning now...) and was a case of "let's see what happens first - kid or dog come summer" - the dog won :D

We both want kids, at least we certainly did, but as others have eluded to the cost of living is silly, and the dog takes up a surprising amount of effort (read: surprising how much more effort than we expected, which was already quite a lot) so we've slowly drifted to no longer that fussed... Just wished we'd come to that conclusion before buying a house with kids in mind, could have gotten so much more land for the dog otherwise!
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We had our daughter first then 5 years later we got a dog for her 5th birthday. She is now 15 and the dog 10. She walks, cleans and feeds it herself which I think is a great tool for teaching responsibility. She is a lot more mature than I was at that age that is for sure.
 
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