Soldato
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How many DINKs here?
- Thread starter Efour
- Start date
Soldato
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- 24 Sep 2015
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DINK here with definite plans to never have children.
What about DINKWAD? Dual Income No Kids With A Dog - very popular place to be!
For reference both 31, we were waiting til we had a house (coming up to two years of owning now...) and was a case of "let's see what happens first - kid or dog come summer" - the dog won
We both want kids, at least we certainly did, but as others have eluded to the cost of living is silly, and the dog takes up a surprising amount of effort (read: surprising how much more effort than we expected, which was already quite a lot) so we've slowly drifted to no longer that fussed... Just wished we'd come to that conclusion before buying a house with kids in mind, could have gotten so much more land for the dog otherwise!
I love our dog. He's a lovely boy. And was nice to get a rescue.
Its growing fast.
Both people having kids later due to finance.
And those never having them.
Its very noticeable in my friendship group.
So many factors pushing kids out of couples lives. Some positive, some negative.
Im in this position too, although now thinking about kids that I have a nice house and very fortunate to earn north of 100k combined.
Primarily what put me off previously was cost of children (and make sure they have a bedroom each if I had 2)
Caporegime
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Obviously it will be noticeable in your friendship group because you do not have kids. Pretty much all of mine have kids because a lot of them I met because I have kids.
Obviously it will be noticeable in your friendship group because you do not have kids. Pretty much all of mine have kids because a lot of them I met because I have kids.
I've had the same friends for years. And only one set have dropped away. Despite a lot coupling up. We are now late 30s. And even the couples in 5+ years relationships do not have kids.
I can only assume it's a mindset thing. And that's why we became friends in the first place. I suspect a couple of them may drop away with kids in time. But as of yet. Only one pair have.
Its well publicised that the fertility rate is dropping. And I think it's fairly obvious. Less people wanting kids. And more who do starting later.
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Neither of my brothers have kids, despite being past the age we had our first, and as far as I'm aware neither have any plans to do so, so it does seem to be a thing (obviously anecdotal evidence from a sample of 2 isn't really proof of anything, and I've always been the black sheep of the family )
)
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Agree, its a wider societal change. Funnily and I don’t mean this in any bad way but most of the people I went to school with - normal school/council estate who have become joiners, call centre workers etc have 2-3 kids but any professional acquaintances I have hold the same views as myself, holding off, ambitions first.
Neither of my brothers have kids, despite being past the age we had our first, and as far as I'm aware neither have any plans to do so, so I think it's definitely a thing (obviously anecdotal evidence from a sample of 2 isn't really proof of anything
Its well documented. And yeah even though each of us only has anecdotal evidence how many families of 3 kids do you see now?
My grandparents had 4.
Those 4 all have 3
Out of us (who are old enough) I don't see any of us getting past 2. With me on 0.
Its anecdotal, and we are from a certain demographic. But really, I don't see many families of 3 kids anymore.
Middle earning jobs used to be able to support 3 kids.
You had a job for life earlier.. Jobs were. For life.
Now with that same job and same ambition, to own a home and have stability comes so much later.
Then you have the decreased "have a family" pressure.
And also more options for things like travel.
All are pressures away from that old 2 parents and 2-3 kids typical family unit.
Life is more expensive, and there's more to do. All of a sudden, those expensive and time consuming kids aren't so appealing to many.
Its well documented. And yeah even though each of us only has anecdotal evidence how many families of 3 kids do you see now?
My grandparents had 4.
Those 4 all have 3
Out of us (who are old enough) I don't see any of us getting past 2. With me on 0.
Its anecdotal, and we are from a certain demographic. But really, I don't see many families of 3 kids anymore.
We certainly won't be having any more (I've had the snip, and my partner probably wouldn't survive another one).
Even if it were possible, I doubt we'd want to, as you say mainly for financial reasons - we *could* manage another, but not while maintaining the quality of life we want, both for us and the kids. We're both very much looking forward to the youngest getting his 30 hours of free childcare, followed by school
Associate
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- 28 Jan 2005
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Triple Income, no kids but a dog!
My wife has just turned 31 and we're thinking we might want children but at the moment we're enjoying our life too much to want it to change. As my parents had me when they were 21, they didn't really have much time "adulting" before committing to children whereas my wife and I kinda like things as they are and are hesitant to jump into parenthood.
I think this seems to be a theme from talking to friends, they like the way their life is as are not wanting to rock the boat.
My wife has just turned 31 and we're thinking we might want children but at the moment we're enjoying our life too much to want it to change. As my parents had me when they were 21, they didn't really have much time "adulting" before committing to children whereas my wife and I kinda like things as they are and are hesitant to jump into parenthood.
I think this seems to be a theme from talking to friends, they like the way their life is as are not wanting to rock the boat.
Caporegime
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Children are not time consuming but are a gift. You consider spending money on yourself as a positive. I consider spending money on my children as a positive. I guess this is where the mentality is different.
I think so. I see kids as "taking" my time. Where as those who want them see kids as "time well spent".
Er...
Well it's a bit of both surely?
I love spending time with my kids, but it does mean I have very little time to do anything else I want/need to do!
Just like I enjoy spending time with my mates, but if I was forced to be with them 24/7 I think we'd all very quickly tire of each other's company
Sometimes when I'm exhausted after finishing a long day at work, instead of having to spend another 30 minutes sorting out their pile of laundry, an hour playing with them, an hour cooking them dinner, 30 minutes putting them to bed and 30 minutes tidying up all their toys, I'd rather just sit in front of the TV with a beer, or get some gaming in, or play with my synths.
Sometimes it would be nice to be able to take the other half out for a meal at a nice restaurant followed by cocktails and then get home for some naughtiness, instead of pizza hut followed by a disney film
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Soldato
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- 11 Sep 2013
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Why would people need a coping mechanism for not having something they don't want? There's nothing to cope with.
Like I said, there's no need for excuses. The only "particular behavioural conditions" are people who insultingly demand to know why someone doesn't want kids, as if there's something wrong with it...
As for you not believing them - That's just retarded and offensive.
I asked for positives for those who don't want kids. You ignored that and listed what only works for those that do.Me listing what I see as positives in response to a direct request to do so is not "trying to sell" something
Still waiting for that quote, which should be easy to provide given what you're claiming I've said?
Typical sales tactic.
That makes no sense, of course a positive isn't a positive for someone it isn't a positive for *derp".
You're reading way too much into what people are positing, and seem extremely defensive about it for some reason, so I'll leave you to whatever it is you think you want to believe in
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Soldato
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- 30 Sep 2005
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DIWK4090 here