How to cope?

I think you need to seek some advice from maybe someone like ACAS as regardless of any notice period written into a contract you would not be made to serve it under these conditions.
 
I know its been a couple of weeks since I've updated you all, but its been relatively quiet on the western front so to speak.

So since I started the thread I calmed myself down over the weekend a bit, and luckily that week the person in question was off sick for a couple of days so had no issues whatsoever. Work was enjoyable again.

The following week his favourite target was back in after a period away. I won't go into the details of who or what happened but the end result is the lad came to me asking for advice. I gave him the same info that both people in this thread have suggested (recording meetings, taking notes etc) and gave him the contact number of an intermediary that I had been given. He went to see the said person and has managed to partially resolve the situation.

That leads to this week, and I've been off sick since sunday with my first day back in today (still not feeling great but the team was struggling so wanted to go back in).

Not bad in general, until 4pm when we get four emergency jobs come up that HAVE to be completed by tomorrow morning, myself and my line manager decide to stay as long as it takes to do the tasks, if thats all night then so be it.

Bearing in mind, one of these jobs is guaranteed to be at least 6-8 hours IF it goes well. We split and I take one, he takes the other.

The usual suspect comes out after about 3 hours and asks how we're getting on, my line manager tells him exactly what point we're at. I could hear it from upstairs:

'Thats not bloody good enough, you might aswell get your tools away now if you can't do it, you should have been done by now'

My line manager followed him into the office and I'm not sure whether he raised his voice but he was starting to lose his temper as it was, comes out 5 minutes later and carries on, problem manager follows him and starts helping him so clearly something got through. I have a quick chat with him a few minutes later and apparently its all my fault the tasks aren't finished because I decided to have an 'hour and a half break for dinner'. That break was 4 mins 28 secs according to the youtube vid I watched, combined with 10 minutes for a poop and change of clothes, then 5 minutes drive back to work. Apparently we could have finished the 8 hour job in this time.

Problem guy decides at 9pm he has to go home and leaves us to it, we keep going at hit a major problem that we can't sort until tomorrow morning anyway, and at 10pm lock up ready for the ****storm tomorrow morning.

So to sum it up

  • Pull a 14 hour shift instead of 8 which I was expecting to be 16-17 completely voluntarily, wanting to get the job done
  • My line manager is yet again talking about how close he is to leaving because of the person, not the work
  • Its 'all my fault' because I had an imaginary length dinner break, apparently I shouldnt have had one (didnt ask for it, got told to do it, took it because i knew it would be a long job)
  • Know that first thing tomorrow morning I'll get hassled about why it isnt finished, as soon as I walk in, and behind my back to all the other trades (including senior management) it'll be because I'm lazy and stupid.
I reckon you might get a decent update tomorrow night :D :D
 
I haven't re-read the thread, but if there's any way you feel you can justify putting this in a formal report in terms of process/safety then you probably should, especially effective if you work directly/indirectly with aircraft. If you're as stressed as you seem to be about this, then it will be affecting your performance and you will be more likely to be making mistakes.

:edit: Also, regardless of what you do in work, I'd go to the padre/chaplain/whatever your service calls them and get this all off your chest. Yeah I know, guys who go squealing and whining to them every time they're asked to do something they don't want to do suck, but again, if this is affecting you as much as it appears, they will listen and offer some advice. They certainly will have spoken to many people in the same situation.
 
I'd have blown my lid now, especially if he's claiming you took a 90 minute break which was more like 25 minutes.

Seriously, just stand up to him and tell him that you aren't taking his **** anymore. If he's got a problem, tell him to take it up with you face to face instead of bitching behind closed doors like a little bitch :D
 
Sounds like the typical bully, I went through this for over two years before I got sacked. (luckily didn't get a criminal record) It's horrible going into work with this feeling.
 
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Zefan said:
I haven't re-read the thread, but if there's any way you feel you can justify putting this in a formal report in terms of process/safety then you probably should, especially effective if you work directly/indirectly with aircraft. If you're as stressed as you seem to be about this, then it will be affecting your performance and you will be more likely to be making mistakes.

:edit: Also, regardless of what you do in work, I'd go to the padre/chaplain/whatever your service calls them and get this all off your chest. Yeah I know, guys who go squealing and whining to them every time they're asked to do something they don't want to do suck, but again, if this is affecting you as much as it appears, they will listen and offer some advice. They certainly will have spoken to many people in the same situation.
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Problem is as everything he does is behind closed doors its impossible to prove until its either recorded secretly or there is a witness, and when there is he just denies all knowledge of anything happening. This has happened twice now to other people unrelated to my treatment. This isn't about not wanting to do anything, its about doing your best and still getting abuse for no reason. If I was failing in certain areas it would be easier to justify.

And yes I work directly with aircraft, if this was getting any closer to affecting my performance then I'll be doing something far more serious about it which im considering, luckily my line manager tries to mitigate the effect he has on us (probably affecting his own performance negatively). Also ultimately (AT THE MOMENT) he is not affecting any of my professional decisions because its all nonsense. the moment that happens I'm walking out.

EVH said:
I'd have blown my lid now, especially if he's claiming you took a 90 minute break which was more like 25 minutes.

Seriously, just stand up to him and tell him that you aren't taking his **** anymore. If he's got a problem, tell him to take it up with you face to face instead of bitching behind closed doors like a little bitch :D
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This has gone on so long now by the time I left work last night I laughed at the absurdity of it all. Its the first time I've actually not given a **** about what he's said because its all so clearly nonsense. Although one way or another this will all come to a head at some point and I will say something, and make damn sure that I wont leave myself out to dry.
 
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Actual quote from my line manager today:

'you need to find yourself a project that makes you look good and then he might stop'

This is when I'm doing my job, his job because he is away and his bosses job because he's off. This is mental.

Resignation is going in Monday I think as having anxiety attacks about work on Monday while at home Friday nights isn't even worth double what I'm being paid
 
Any other updates. No job is worth deal with that level of moron and the stress they create for no reason. They eventually start to effect your confidence.
 
I am sorry - I just do not see how this doesn't warrant a service complaint. If it is this bad and a lot of you are experiencing the same thing then they will listen... especially if he has had similar complaints in the past.

Also, the RAF came into my old place of work (tri-service) and did a fatigue management review (or something like that.... doesn't exist in the Navy, I was shocked that the RAF actually care somewhat) - as we dealt with aircraft, ships and infantry across NATO - they kind of thought it was best we weren't unhappy for the safety of the exercise and everyone in it. The RAF apparently care a lot and this was sorted to a point.

If you like your job, but don't get on with your boss, you are silly to put in your notice without putting in a service complaint first.
 
OspreyO said:
Any other updates. No job is worth deal with that level of moron and the stress they create for no reason. They eventually start to effect your confidence.
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Also replying to @Bengaboy

I'm currently on a week's leave moving the Mrs into our home so been stressful in other ways hence the lack of reply.

The relief I felt leaving on Friday night (albeit some started early and others worked late to meet targets) was amazing. Just realising I had a week away from it made me feel like a new person.

As he was leaving I got a thumbs up from the person in question and a 'good job' comment and I just replied 'yeah' with no meaning as I know he only means it because we've hit targets.

That week I was supposed to take over my bosses job, I spoke to my colleague and he agreed to take the lead in order to 'take the hit' in his own words. He did, and all the comments apparently were directed towards me with much eyerolling and tutting. In my colleagues own words 'ive got no idea why hes going after you so hard but he is'

Service complaint can't be done due to lack of evidence, he knows this as it isn't the first he's had against him so he knows the process. It's happened in my workplace recently and got smashed as he made the guy raising the complaint look like the bad guy.
 
I should probably note that the week before where I worked until 10pm to try and sort stuff out and got accused of having a long dinner break, the lad who came in the next day and finished part of the job got called into the office and congratulated for his work.

Next day he asked me if I had been told anything, nope nothing whatsoever apart from 'find a project to make myself look good to get less abuse'.

He's made a point to raise it at every opportunity in a public place to get me to explain it (note, I normally keep personal emotion stuff to a minimum at work).

It's worked, there's been 3 or 4 people over the last week I was in work notice what's going on. All powerless to help but it's witnesses I suppose
 
Boycey0211 said:
Also replying to @Bengaboy

That week I was supposed to take over my bosses job, I spoke to my colleague and he agreed to take the lead in order to 'take the hit' in his own words. He did, and all the comments apparently were directed towards me with much eyerolling and tutting. In my colleagues own words 'ive got no idea why hes going after you so hard but he is'

Service complaint can't be done due to lack of evidence, he knows this as it isn't the first he's had against him so he knows the process. It's happened in my workplace recently and got smashed as he made the guy raising the complaint look like the bad guy.
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There is evidence if more than one person is putting in a complaint... if your oppos that see this happen don't back you up - then that's terrible.

If you like, send me a message on trust and we can discuss further - but this is a classic service complaint case. The only reason why I think you wouldn't go down that route is if you are not as bulletproof as you are making out.

(I know that sounds harsh btw - not trying to be a douche intentionally!)
 
Bengaboy said:
There is evidence if more than one person is putting in a complaint... if your oppos that see this happen don't back you up - then that's terrible.

If you like, send me a message on trust and we can discuss further - but this is a classic service complaint case. The only reason why I think you wouldn't go down that route is if you are not as bulletproof as you are making out.

(I know that sounds harsh btw - not trying to be a douche intentionally!)
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You're sort of on point. Half the reason I've not done anything before is because I constantly doubt myself and think that maybe it is me at fault, since a couple of weeks before I created the thread it became obvious I wasn't just being fragile.

Like I've said before, only reason I've not gone down the official route yet is because I've got zero evidence of anything actually being said or done, and as proved the last time one of the lads did that he just denies everything and walked away scot free.

And also I'm not trying to nail him to the wall, it just needs to stop. I understand where you're coming from though and no offence taken, I'm trying to make myself bulletproof by recording all events etc.
 
bangwhosnext said:
Carry a Dictaphone in your pocket and just hit record every time the bully boss approaches? Or, download a voice record app on your phone?
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This is pretty much the best thing if you actually want official action.

Granted, joint first best is simply asking if he has a minute in private, and then asking him what his problem is.

Sounds like he's a grade-A ****nugget though, so direct confrontation like that would probably result in him making some BS official complaints about YOU and having you forced out.

So I'd route back to the first option. Record him being a nasty piece of work. It's as easy as a dictaphone or phone app in a shirt pocket.

After that, ask him if he has five minutes in private. Play said recording. Now ask him, having heard himself on record speaking to you in such a manner, if he would like to explain his attitude and why it's consistently the way he treats you. Be nice. Offer him the benefit of the doubt -- of course you only recorded it because you wanted to make sure whether he even realised he sounded so nasty. Often we just don't judge our own tone or words wisely. And you're doing this because you'd like to find a resolution without bringing in HR as an intermediary.

It sounds like the guy's a bully -- and I would never, ever put up with them in the workplace.
 
Problem is could recording anything in a service environment open you up to all sorts of bother?
 
It does sound like you either need to get something official going, or get a new job.

Had similar bad management in the past, but not as bad as yours sounds. When my previous manager left the whole team was suddenly happier and more productive!

I would not be recording conversations on site lightly it could backfire, especially if there is the potential for anything confidential to be discussed.
 
Pestilence said:
This is pretty much the best thing if you actually want official action.

Granted, joint first best is simply asking if he has a minute in private, and then asking him what his problem is.

Sounds like he's a grade-A ****nugget though, so direct confrontation like that would probably result in him making some BS official complaints about YOU and having you forced out.

So I'd route back to the first option. Record him being a nasty piece of work. It's as easy as a dictaphone or phone app in a shirt pocket.

After that, ask him if he has five minutes in private. Play said recording. Now ask him, having heard himself on record speaking to you in such a manner, if he would like to explain his attitude and why it's consistently the way he treats you. Be nice. Offer him the benefit of the doubt -- of course you only recorded it because you wanted to make sure whether he even realised he sounded so nasty. Often we just don't judge our own tone or words wisely. And you're doing this because you'd like to find a resolution without bringing in HR as an intermediary.

It sounds like the guy's a bully -- and I would never, ever put up with them in the workplace.
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No!!!! If you are going to record anything, definitely don't show him!!!

Playing your trump card to the enemy (unless in a formal HR meeting where it is being used as evidence) is suicide. All you'd do is reveal to him that you've been sneaky and force him to do things non-verbally instead.

What I will suggest is that you collate evidence. I think you're thinking that all your evidence has to be presented in a dossier of photos and video so let me explain what I mean :p

Facts - Record them in a diary of sorts with times and dates. It doesn't have to be long, just something like "date, time, event" and a one line of what happened. Do this after work if you don't have the time or ability to log them in work.

Colleagues - leverage them as witnesses. If you take it further, make sure at least 2 other people are willing to give their take on the situation. This can be tricky as they might feel that they'll get victimised but make it clear that you don't want them to give their verdict on him as person, but rather a summary of events from their perspective.

Tangible - If he's making your life hard over targets then try to quantify your performance. If you need to make x/hr and you've exceeded it, then note it. Likewise, see if there's a pattern of his abuse in there... is he most angry on Monday morning or Friday afternoon? I had a boss that went through a messy divorce and he would be a complete **** on Mondays as he get drunk on the weekends and feel rough come the start of the week.

If you make formal requests to chat to a superior/chaplain/HR then document those. The more entries and the more you prove the better.

Medical leave - your most powerful weapon - if he's making you feel like this, go to the doctor and get signed off for stress. Make it known that you've got a problem with your boss, so the doctor records it. In the back to work interview, they'll ask why you've been off and you can tell them. This is when it'll go nuclear but at least you're a) protected whilst on sick leave b) not just making up stories. They'll see that you've been off with a tangible illness and want to do something about it. In an ideal world, you'd want to go armed to the interview with your diary and list of times you've raised concerns but I appreciate that you may already be at the end of the road.

I suppose my message to you is, you may think that you have no evidence but any times you've raised a concern is a piece of evidence. Collate it up, write it down and drop the nuke on him.
 
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