How would you dispose of a body?

Burial at sea. A bit of chain around the body, go a mile or so off shore and off they go. They'd never be found.
 
Why would I?

Put it in the bathtub and cut it in half, then put each half in a large air/water tight scuba box, put them in the attic hidden under the insulation, in the pond, wherever's easiest to hide them.

The police will be looking for leads on a body or somebody disposing of a body, wait until the heat has died down, year or two maybe, it's not going anywhere.
 
For a start, I wouldn't post my plans up on an internet message board using an account from which I can be identified, and from my home internet connection!
 
Jamauk said:
Sell the body to someone with a kebab van, I'm sure they'd happily serve it up, and the people that bought it thinking it was a standard kebab would just say "mmm, tastes like chicken"!
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Or a chicken shop, not a halal one mind you.

I'm firmly in the turn it into pies camp, meat's expensive these days and the only quick way I could be identified is if they notice a reduction in the value of my weekly Tesco shop.
 
I'm going to assume I don't have access to a farm with pigs, large quantities of chemicals or an incinerator.


Sticking it in the bath tub and draining blood, fluids etc.. would be the first step - wash down with lots of hot water, bleach... lots more bleach, soda suds, more bleach and hot water... I then turn the oven on/clear out my freeze - I think this whole process could take couple of days or so but basically I'd cut out all flesh/organs and overcook/burn them to a crisp in the oven (some of the 'meat' would have to be bagged and stuck in the fridge or freezer temporarily and the oven running 24/7 for the 2-3 days. Probably worth re-freezing the cooked/burnt meat - then just throw in the trash/dispose of over the next month with the regular kitchen rubbish.

Hair can be burned, teeth - get a hammer, smash them to pieces, grind up the pieces until they're not recognisable as teeth... go throw in a river somewhere... ditto to the bones... cook/burn in oven then saw them into very small pieces until they're barely recognisable even if stumbled upon - throw small pieces into river(s), over several trips.
 
Pawnless Endgame said:
Box up the body and ship it out via DHL. You're guaranteed that nobody will find the body again!!
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Just to cover the possibility that the package does turn up, post the body with a new IPhone that you've sold on ebay. If the phone/body does arrive with the recipient they will have to dispose of it for you as calling the police with invalidate their fraudulent paypal clawback claim.
 
I think I would cut them up into several pieces (In a Dexter styled kill room) bag them up, then over a few weeks pop them in a good blender and flush down various toilets.
 
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