How would you dispose of a body?

Piranha Solution, although disposing of the, probably toxic, sludge that is left over is another issue in its self. Plus you have to watch out for bits that don't get turned to sludge like false teeth, gallstones and surgical implants etc. See John Haigh

I think it may be easier to approach the problem from a different direction, find a way of killing someone that looks like a tragic accident so you don't have to dispose of the body.
 
G-MAN2004 said:
4chan has you covered.

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Hopefully I'm not on some sort of list after searching for that. :p
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Crikey! The main thing I'm learning here is that I am far too squeamish to get away with murder. If I ever decide to become a serial killer I'm going to have to watch a lot of horror movies to harden myself.

I wouldn't worry about being on a list. Everyone is on one these days. It's just a question of how many lists you have collected!
 
d_brennen said:
Break into a pet cemetery and use their incinerator. If you have murder hanging over you, breaking and entering is nothing
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You could run over a neighbour's dog and pretend you were idiotic enough to want to dispose of the proof before they found out. Yes, the police would think you were an idiot but would they weigh the amount of ash? Probably not. Should probably "miss a paw" in case you're caught breaking in.
 
Illgresi said:
For a start, I wouldn't post my plans up on an internet message board using an account from which I can be identified, and from my home internet connection!
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I had a good long think about whether I would ever murder someone and eventually decided I wouldn't. If I ever kill someone I'm 99% sure it will be either self-defence or something I cooked. So I decided to go ahead with the thread! :)
 
tres said:
Burial at sea. A bit of chain around the body, go a mile or so off shore and off they go. They'd never be found.
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Make sure you slash open the abdomen first, it's an air filled cavity (with air filled stomach/intestines and access to the chest area etc) whose buoyancy (if sealed) will always attempt to counteract whatever method of "weighing the person down" you use. So just in case your "weigh-down" fails, make sure the buoyancy is removed first.
 
  • Pull the teeth and destroy them.
  • Snip the finger tips and destroy them.
  • Dig hole.
  • Stick the meat in a sleeping bag and place head down in the hole with arse pointing up and administer a live yoghurt enema.
  • Fill the hole in (Fnarr, fnarr. Yakk, yakk).
  • Forget about it and don't ever tell a soul.
 
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ianh said:
Make sure you slash open the abdomen first, it's an air filled cavity (with air filled stomach/intestines and access to the chest area etc) whose buoyancy (if sealed) will always attempt to counteract whatever method of "weighing the person down" you use. So just in case your "weigh-down" fails, make sure the buoyancy is removed first.
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Sea burials wash up fairly frequently actually even with the abdomen missing completely. You'd need to open the thorax too and remove most of the organs and even then the tissues breaking down release gases and reduce the density of the body cause it to float. There is a reason why they use massive heavy caskets. And even they pop open occasionally.
 
Boat and concrete shoes/weights. Sail out to somewhere remote and chuck it over the side not facing the shoreline, preferably at night. Cut the artery areas of the body and make some small cuts into the plastic sheeting you wrap the body in.

That way hopefully the bodily fluids and decomposition have some way of escaping the wrapper so it doesn't bloat and try to rise and the fish/sea life would remove the dna/eyes and soft tissue.
 
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