How would you dispose of a body?

It depends on how much time you have... the thing that will cause mistakes and problems is being up against the clock.

If it needed to be done in a hurry as most would be, id probably say hack off the head arms and legs, into polythene bags and then 3 or 4 binbags for each part and take them down the tip and throw them in the general waste alongside all sorts of other crap.

You either need to make it so undetectable that nobody ever finds it, or if it does get found make the possibility of cross contamination so high they'll never be able to pick out which person did it out of the hundreds that used the tip in that day.
 
I would sit it in a chair next to a bed in an old folks home. Nobody would care or notice it was there.
 
Put it in the Houses of Parliament. It's a well known fact that nobody is ever officially dead in the Houses of Parliament(*), therefore putting a body there means it officially no longer exists. Problem solved! :)

Dump the body in a bog, maybe? No currents, so no chance of it being washed up on a beach or riverbank somewhere. Although at sea would be easier in some ways since there are plausible reasons for carrying stuff onto a boat and plausible reasons for taking a boat out to sea. It would be more difficult to explain why you'd carry enough stuff to conceal a body into a bog. You might go walking there, but you wouldn't be carrying anything large and heavy enough to conceal a body, even in pieces. Although I wouldn't be hiring a boat and taking it out to sea by myself either, so the title rules that out. The OP includes the likelihood of a police investigation and I'm sure if the police suspected I'd killed someone and hidden the body they'd ask why I hired a boat for the first time in my life and went out to sea in it.


* This bit is technically true because issues of jurisdication make it preferable for the place of death to be officially recorded as being outside a royal palace.
 
I wouldn't get rid of it, but i would strip it of all trace evidence and not have any motive.. Plus acquire an unquestionable Alibi.
 
1. Put body into plastic bag in cool, dry area.
2. Find a secluded woodland area with good road access.
3. Scout out a good grave site not too far from the road and dig it out with a shovel as deep as possible without being seen.
4. Transport the body in a plastic bag to the grave at night. Take a gun with you in case you are discovered.
5. Bury body. Cover with leaves, sticks.
 
Look up nearest celebrity, deposit body in their swimming pool.

Alternatively wear a gold tracksuit and buy a Rolls. Then the cops won't care if you take it the mortuary yourself and have a bit of alone time.
 
Feek said:
Yes, and due to the amount of swearing has got a short holiday. I wouldn't recommend posting it again.
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There are only one or two minor swear words in that clip, and I thought there was a new guideline in place which allows us to post videos with a little bit of swearing as long as we indicate that it may contain swearing?

e; Unless they posted the full scene of course...... I think that includes the four letter C word which isn't cook. :p
 
G-MAN2004 said:
4chan has you covered.

L7zmOKx.jpg

Hopefully I'm not on some sort of list after searching for that. :p
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Not sure a drain is the best option.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dennis_Nilsen


Nilsen's murders were first discovered by a Dyno-Rod employee named Michael Cattran, who responded to the complaints made by both Dennis Nilsen and other tenants of 23 Cranley Gardens regarding the drains of the property being blocked on 8 February 1983.[87] Opening a drain cover at the side of the house, Cattran discovered the drain was packed with a flesh-like substance and numerous small bones of unknown origin. Cattran reported his suspicions to his supervisor, Gary Wheeler. However, as he had arrived at the property at dusk, Cattran and his supervisor agreed to postpone further investigation into the blockage until the following morning. Prior to leaving the property, Nilsen and a fellow tenant named Jim Allcock convened with Cattran to discuss the source of the substance. Upon hearing Cattran exclaim how similar the substance was in appearance to human flesh, Nilsen replied: "It looks to me like someone has been flushing down their Kentucky Fried Chicken."[88]

At 7:30 a.m. the following morning, Cattran and Wheeler returned to 23 Cranley Gardens, by which time the drain had been cleared. This aroused the suspicions of both the drain inspector and his supervisor. Cattran discovered some scraps of flesh and four bones in a pipe leading from the drain which linked to the top flat of the house. To both Cattran and Wheeler, the bones looked as if they originated from a human hand. Both men immediately called the police who, upon closer inspection, discovered further small bones and scraps of what looked to the naked eye like either human or animal flesh in the same pipe leading from the drain. These remains were taken to the mortuary at Hornsey, where pathologist Professor David Bowen advised police that the remains were indeed human,[89] and that one particular piece of flesh he concluded had been from a human neck bore a ligature mark.
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Personally - wrap in a plastic fishing net and drop in the sea in a marine nature reserve or outside of regular fishing/dredging locations so it doesn't come up in a net or digger.

Evangelion said:
Pigs, or an industrial shredder:

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Someone's already tried that (well a wood chipper in a snowstorm, after freezing the body).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_Helle_Crafts

Probably the best way is like Dennis Nilsen, make sure you kill someone random. Much easier for it to not be connected to when they inevitably find something (although in Nilsens case they eventually caught up with him).:p
 
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Did my thread on dead bodies get deleted? Maybe I'm going blind but I can't see it anywhere and I can't see a "thread locked" version of it or anything like that? Just seems to have vanished and I can't even see it in my comment history.
 
looks like someone has disposed your thread.....

looks like ocuk management didn't like those post murder ideas in the case someone thinks of using them in real life! scary.
 
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