Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

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MisChief said:
Not everything is black and white. Some people would say give the person a chance and talk to them, get to know them and maybe their personality will win you over. Some people like yourself, would say " you should have either not replied to his first message, or politely said that you are not interested." But as you said though, it's just your opinion. This is why I said there's no pleasing some people.

Some people really need to stop getting so wound up over internet dating..
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I'm not getting wound up lol I was just a little shocked at other peoples atitude towards dating websites.

I know things aren't clear cut, I agree, give somebody a chance by chatting first, but the scenario I interpreted from your posts was that you had chatted for a good length of time, so much so that a date had been arranged, then you changed your mind because you had doubts...That's why I said no you shouldn't have talked to him any more and told him you weren't interested from the first time you had any doubts.
 
ljt said:
I'm not getting wound up lol I was just a little shocked at other peoples atitude towards dating websites.

I know things aren't clear cut, I agree, give somebody a chance by chatting first, but the scenario I interpreted from your posts was that you had chatted for a good length of time, so much so that a date had been arranged, then you changed your mind because you had doubts...That's why I said no you shouldn't have talked to him any more and told him you weren't interested from the first time you had any doubts.
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To be honest my words probably came out wrong, making you think that I think it's ok to string people along. It's not right and I don't ever recall stringing anyone along before or purposely misleading someone for my own pleasure or to kill some time while waiting for the 'right' guy to come along.

I may have unintentionally misled some people by continuing to talk whilst trying to figure out if I can see past their looks and like them for their personality - easy to do when you're talking online (unless you webcam). Then when the time finally comes to meet, it's that final moment where you have doubts. I would rather cancel last minute than go ahead with a date and leading the person to think that they have a chance.

Why not make it clear before getting to the stage where a date is arrange? Well, simply because talking online is different to actually meeting up. You have no more computer screen to hide behind, you now meet the person and not just the personality. "**** just got real" sums it up pretty well.
 
CaptainFail! said:
Anyone care to give my profile a once over and let me know what I can improve etc? I seem to be getting a fair amount of profile views and the odd message but never any responses to emails I send... :p

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=32256125
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Chris, will all due respect, you're a young lad with a friendly face if a bit beardy - get off internet dating and get out into the world and enjoy yourself. The rest will follow ;)

Guys in there early twenties should not be looking for dates on the internet, surely? :p
 
MisChief said:
To be honest my words probably came out wrong, making you think that I think it's ok to string people along. It's not right and I don't ever recall stringing anyone along before or purposely misleading someone for my own pleasure or to kill some time while waiting for the 'right' guy to come along.

I may have unintentionally misled some people by continuing to talk whilst trying to figure out if I can see past their looks and like them for their personality - easy to do when you're talking online (unless you webcam). Then when the time finally comes to meet, it's that final moment where you have doubts. I would rather cancel last minute than go ahead with a date and leading the person to think that they have a chance.

Why not make it clear before getting to the stage where a date is arrange? Well, simply because talking online is different to actually meeting up. You have no more computer screen to hide behind, you now meet the person and not just the personality. "**** just got real" sums it up pretty well.
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Fair enough I'll chalk it down to misinterpretation. :)

On the point about differences between talking online and in person, I don't really find it much different, I'm merely speaking rather than typing, granted its easier to portray certain mannerisms, sarcasm etc face to face, but the content and meaning is exactly the same.
 
I've been trying Plenty of Fish too. What a complete fail, I mean seriously am I that unattractive? I've sent in excess of 50 messages and I can't get any form of reply. Not even a 'don't like you' message. All the women talk about wanting to be treated like princesses, I never start a convo with the usual stuff they're always complaining about but do they ever reply? No. I'm not even aiming that high.
 
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PraxxtorCruel said:
I've been trying Plenty of Fish too. What a complete fail, I mean seriously am I that unattractive? I've sent in excess of 50 messages and I can't get any form of reply. Not even a 'don't like you' message. All the women talk about wanting to be treated like princesses, I never start a convo with the usual stuff they're always complaining about but do they ever reply? No. I'm not even aiming that high.
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Aim lower ;)



But seriously what type of messages are you sending?
 
I'm actually racking up some views on my profile. They are not in their 30s either. All seem boring though. Nights out and walks are not my thing. Also anyone noticed the amount of chicks they reference 50 shades in someway? "Looking for my Mr Grey". If they want me to put a couple of love balls up them why don't they just say?

Ahh well it's a bit of fun and feeds my ego a bit. Maybe if I chop of this hair and do something about the facial hair I could get some more views. But in reality I'm pretty happy being single. I don't need to wake up in the mornings. I don't need to spend money. It could be worse. I could be like my friends and either have a kid or get married. Thinking about that just scares me.

Oh and Chris, you seem quite handsome and have good music taste. What are you saying when you message the ladies?

It's like why can't you just hang out with guys, you know, just live with someone of your own sex, just do what you do with women, but with your buddy. You know wha, why don't guys just do that?
 
PraxxtorCruel said:
I've been trying Plenty of Fish too. What a complete fail, I mean seriously am I that unattractive? I've sent in excess of 50 messages and I can't get any form of reply. Not even a 'don't like you' message. All the women talk about wanting to be treated like princesses, I never start a convo with the usual stuff they're always complaining about but do they ever reply? No. I'm not even aiming that high.
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Women don't want to be treated like a princess, this does not work, this is almost the polar opposite of what does work. Women are attracted to men. Confident, self assured, laid back, strong, unintimidated, interesting, don't take any crap, willing to walk away, non-chalant, these are the kinds of things that are attractive to women. If a woman ever describes you as "a nice guy", you're doing it *very* wrong.
 
paradisiac said:
hahaha I have missed this place :p

guys don't tend to hang out with guys as they are missing the vital body parts that make listening to someone for hours possibly end up being worth it :p
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I agree, there's no way I am going to listen to someone talk crap all day and put up with their annoying habits without the possibility of getting my end away.
 
PraxxtorCruel said:
I might ask 'em things like, what do you think makes a good relationship and then compliment their looks but not going over the top. For example "You're !"£!%!£%! hot!"
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Both terrible ideas.

Nobody is going to spend time explaining to a stranger what their views on relationships are. It's too complex.

NEVER compliment their looks, merely comment on the pic if they're doing something interesting in the pic.

So;

"Like the canoeing pic. Reminds me of the time I experienced a bit of white water on the IcheTucknee in Florida and had alligators snapping at my feet. "

Mention something about the pic or a statement in her profile and then go off on a tangent with your own stories. That way your not interrogating her directly on what she said/like and leave the door open for her to ask/mention your story. It takes the focus (pressure) off her and onto you.

Remember, most messages they get are exactly the same. Be different and original. Write as if you're chatting and don't ask 200 questions. Keep it short, attentive, free from 'OMG/Lol' and such. You're not 12, write like an intelligent grown up. And DO NOT be too nice. Just don't do it.

Keep ANY gestures of romance out of the first 3 emails. Always remember, women are like horses, they spook easily and for no reason. And when you do get to the point of asking her out, tell her you'll be happy to suggest a place, but you wouldn't mind if she pick a spot where she'd feel comfortable meeting a stranger. Without fail they always think that's sweet and considerate.

A good way to end any first mail is to ask how it's going for them on POF/Match/Whatever. They always respond back in gusto about all the freaks and weirdos that's been hassling them.

Hope it goes better for you.
 
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Roar87 said:
Women don't want to be treated like a princess, this does not work, this is almost the polar opposite of what does work. Women are attracted to men. Confident, self assured, laid back, strong, unintimidated, interesting, don't take any crap, willing to walk away, non-chalant, these are the kinds of things that are attractive to women. If a woman ever describes you as "a nice guy", you're doing it *very* wrong.
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Please listen to this man. Word for word. Go study it.
 
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