Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

[regulus]

only redid my profile last night/today and things have started to pick up, had one epic message from this cute girl into mmos and all sorts of cool stuff and had a few 'hi you alright?' how do you respond to them. Some look alright in them as well.

Removed that. Cheers. Had it up and was told to remove it because there was too much background so cropped it, guess it doesn't work at all

You don't respond to that. You ignore them. Add to your profile that one liners will be ignored. Keeps your inbox clean from the lazy and stupid.

I like your profile. Girls dig dudes that can play guitar and sing. I wouldn't change anything on the text. Or, if anything, shorten it slightly. You know how people's attention spans are these days. Only good for two paragraphs of skim. But really, it's fine as it is.

Your piccies aren't too bad, but if you have any that you think is better, sling them up.

Photos are King, Queen and Princess. And Prince. And King-in-waiting.

All and all, a solid profile. Let's hope the girls in Liverpool can appreciate that

 

[ljt]

but some people are putting them selves down and going "omg you dont like me the way i am booooo ill better stay single" pfth..

I'm assuming that refers to my post, in which case I'm not putting myself down, I don’t lack self confidence. I'm merely saying, people can either like me for who I am or not. I'm not going to try and change the way I am perceived by people to get them to like me.

I’ve been happily single for nearly 10 years now, I only tried this online dating thing out of curiosity. After the first week I took a step back after a few days of comments on here about changing this, removing that, put this photo up etc and realised why am I trying to change my profile to suit other people/attract attention? This isn’t me. That’s why I have removed my profile, I will meet women through the course of my “offline” life and if it’s meant to be it will be. I fail to see how that is a “putting myself down” I just don’t live my life to impress other people, I live it for myself.

 

[regulus]

I used to have a rant about "hi how are you?" messages in my profile. Quite funny because I still used to get them. And it wasn't from girls trying to be funny. It was from mutants who hadn't bothered to read my profile.

Exactly. The one liners wouldn't matter so much if it usually wasn't an indication of too many bad things. Laziness, indecisiveness, little princess syndrome, etc. Also, as long as you know they sent that one liner to 20 other guys in the hope that someone will bite. And guys WILL bite. Just make sure you're not one of them to lower yourself

 

[regulus]

I'm assuming that refers to my post, in which case I'm not putting myself down, I don’t lack self confidence. I'm merely saying, people can either like me for who I am or not. I'm not going to try and change the way I am perceived by people to get them to like me.

I’ve been happily single for nearly 10 years now, I only tried this online dating thing out of curiosity. After the first week I took a step back after a few days of comments on here about changing this, removing that, put this photo up etc and realised why am I trying to change my profile to suit other people/attract attention? This isn’t me. That’s why I have removed my profile, I will meet women through the course of my “offline” life and if it’s meant to be it will be. I fail to see how that is a “putting myself down” I just don’t live my life to impress other people, I live it for myself.

We all put our best sides forward to attract mates. It doesn't mean NOT being yourself, just a different version of you initially. If I didn't put the best effort into my profile, I would've ended up with 'Mail me. LoL'.

While it's good to listen to suggestions on here, I would take it with a pinch of salt. YOU know you. So what if someone here doesn't like your pics, your correct way of writing or hobbies. It's not like you're looking to score here. It's a tragic bunch of women anyway from what I've seen

But seriously, if I were you I'll put it back up and forget about it. You never know!

 

[ljt]

We all put our best sides forward to attract mates. It doesn't mean NOT being yourself, just a different version of you initially. If I didn't put the best effort into my profile, I would've ended up with 'Mail me. LoL'.

I don't do "best sides" or different versions of myself though. I have one side/version and that is me.

 

[MoNkeE]

So you're socially awkward?

 

[paradisiac]

I don't think anyone would ever suggest to be someone your not, that is pointless as one day you will meet this person if you get on and will get found out.
what people are saying is, only put the stuff that makes you sound intriguing or exciting, or that shows your appealing traits. not make some up. same with the pics. no one is saying go out and buy new clothes, get your hair styled and change who you are. just pick out the more flattering pics from your collection.
anything else to do with your personality you get across in your messages. your profile just needs to display to women there is something worth messaging for.

 

[InvaderGIR]

So you're socially awkward?

Picture of ljt:

 

[regulus]

I don't do "best sides" or different versions of myself though. I have one side/version and that is me.

Maybe that's why you've been single for a decade?

It's all well and good 'being yourself', but it won't hurt changing a thing or two.

 

[paradisiac]

So you're socially awkward?

Picture of ljt:

now now, that's just being mean.

 

[ljt]

So you're socially awkward?

I don't believe I am no? How did you come to that conclusion? I'm just the same person around everybody? I don't put on a different face for different people if that's what you mean?

edit: paradisiac - They are entitled to their opinions, I take no offence from them. They are the ones that think I'm socially awkward not me...

 

[paradisiac]

Maybe that's why you've been single for a decade?

It's all well and good 'being yourself', but it won't hurt changing a thing or two.

but do you even need to change anything?

I made amendments to my profile, and got results. I never changed anything about me, just missed out the bits that weren't relevant from the off, and put up more 'flattering' pics
I am still me, nothing has changed on that score, but with the amendments leading to replies, it has allowed me to get more confidence in text humour/personality. something I can do without problem face to face but struggled with over text.

 

[InvaderGIR]

I don't believe I am no? How did you come to that conclusion? I'm just the same person around everybody? I don't put on a different face for different people if that's what you mean?

edit: paradisiac - They are entitled to their opinions, I take no offence from them. They are the ones that think I'm socially awkward not me...

I meant it in jest. I just forgot to put the at the end.

 

[MoNkeE]

I don't believe I am no? How did you come to that conclusion? I'm just the same person around everybody? I don't put on a different face for different people if that's what you mean?

Because having a single way of acting around every person you meet is a classic sign of being socially awkward.

So you're not more relaxed and prone to speaking your mind around your close family?

So you wouldn't use a slightly more eloquent vocabulary in a business setting or job interview?

Would you ridicule your friends if something hilarious happened? Would you hold yourself back if it happened to a stranger?

I seriously doubt you are as single sided as you claim to be, you're just being melodramatic. Hey, maybe that's a side of yourself you're unaware of?!

 

[regulus]

but do you even need to change anything?

I made amendments to my profile, and got results. I never changed anything about me, just missed out the bits that weren't relevant from the off, and put up more 'flattering' pics
I am still me, nothing has changed on that score, but with the amendments leading to replies, it has allowed me to get more confidence in text humour/personality. something I can do without problem face to face but struggled with over text.

Nobody needs to change themselves, just focus on the more positive elements of self. What I meant to LJT was that he needs to change his approach, not himself.

What is that saying; If you always do what you've done, how can you expect the results to be different. Something along those lines anyway.

 

[paradisiac]

Nobody needs to change themselves, just focus on the more positive elements of self. What I meant to LJT was that he needs to change his approach, not himself.

What is that saying; If you always do what you've done, how can you expect the results to be different. Something along those lines anyway.

I got what you were saying, but it looks like they maybe didn't, so I was trying to emphasise it.
people are only saying to tailor the profile/pic to be appealing and leave only the necessary points in there that gets them interested. not removing it all and putting in something fake. but this seems to of been lost somewhere along the line with some members

 

[ljt]

Because having a single way of acting around every person you meet is a classic sign of being socially awkward.

So you're not more relaxed and prone to speaking your mind around your close family?

So you wouldn't use a slightly more eloquent vocabulary in a business setting or job interview?

Would you ridicule your friends if something hilarious happened? Would you hold yourself back if it happened to a stranger?

I seriously doubt you are as single sided as you claim to be, you're just being melodramatic. Hey, maybe that's a side of yourself you're unaware of?!

I speak my mind to anybody whether that be close family or somebody I just met, I often get the comment from people who I've just met that I talk to them like I've known them years, I'm just as relaxed talking to somebody I've never met before as I am when talking to family.

Perhaps my interpretation of single sided is different to yours? When I say there is only one side to me, I mean it in the sense that I'm not two faced.

 

[MoNkeE]

I'm not two faced either, I'm as straight and honest as they come - hell I'd even go as far as to say I'm a genuinely really nice guy. However, I will still act differently around different people. I swear like a trooper. I swear less at work. I swear less around women. I don't swear at all around girly women.

 

[paradisiac]

Perhaps my interpretation of single sided is different to yours? When I say there is only one side to me, I mean it in the sense that I'm not two faced.

how is only putting in a few choice parts of your interest and personality in the profile being 2 faced? no one is saying to put stuff you think people want to hear, just miss out the parts that people don't need to know from the offset.

 

[krooton]

how is only putting in a few choice parts of your interest and personality in the profile being 2 faced? no one is saying to put stuff you think people want to hear, just miss out the parts that people don't need to know from the offset.

I'd liken it to how you serve a meal.

Presentation greatly impacts the initial perception of food, even though it will taste the same as a sloppily presented meal.

Focus on your strong points, and leave out your weak ones entirely, as that gives people ammunition to pass on you from the off. If they actually got to know you first, they might find they are willing to accept whatever your weak points are.