Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!
- Thread starter jrodga2k5
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Wow, this has caused a lot more debate than I expected. I do think that 50/50 is the ideal, but I'll think I'll just suggest some cheaper dates and take things as they come.
That said I don't take her paying as some affront to my masculinity, if she is genuinely happy to 'be a provider' then so be it, I've got a lot more to offer than my wallet.
I'm currently applying for both jobs and PhDs at the moment, with a preference to a PhD so I'll probably just have to get used to being the poorer partner
That said I don't take her paying as some affront to my masculinity, if she is genuinely happy to 'be a provider' then so be it, I've got a lot more to offer than my wallet.
I'm currently applying for both jobs and PhDs at the moment, with a preference to a PhD so I'll probably just have to get used to being the poorer partner
So you're the guy that is paying.
It doesn't look worth it at all. Perfectly functional on free membership.
Times, they are changing.
Serious point, it's an old fashion view. The male and females roles have been destroyed where woman now commonly go out to work and will often earn more than their male counterparts at least until marriage and children.
Most of the happiest couples I know got together in a very chilled out way where things such as this were likely not overly considered. Everyone else seems to break up over such stupid issues.
I think the winning formula is finding someone you enjoy spending time with. I'd be slightly worried if my date was only interested in spending time with me when it required me to put down a wad of cash, regardless of whether or not I could afford it.
Personally, I support taking turns. However rather than splitting dates 50/50, I just expect the female to treat me sometimes. If she wants to use her turn to go to a fancy restaurant that she's paying, I won't argue for. If I'm short on cash, the next date might be a picnic or me cooking dinner.
The important thing is you both have a good time because the company is good and worrying over the details is only going to ruin an otherwise good thing. Most decent woman won't care how big your wallet is anyway, just that you have one.
That's just what I think works for me though, you decide what works for you.
Please stop saying "pride" or self-respect as in we can't have any because we let woman pay. Having a problem with a woman treating you is probably a case of having too much pride. I'd have said to the op to just let her pay the whole wack, then give her two date where you spend within your means. If she has a problem with it, ditch her, because she's not the type of person most of us will want.
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Times, they are changing.
Serious point, it's an old fashion view. The male and females roles have been destroyed where woman now commonly go out to work and will often earn more than their male counterparts at least until marriage and children.
Most of the happiest couples I know got together in a very chilled out way where things such as this were likely not overly considered. Everyone else seems to break up over such stupid issues.
I think the winning formula is finding someone you enjoy spending time with. I'd be slightly worried if my date was only interested in spending time with me when it required me to put down a wad of cash, regardless of whether or not I could afford it.
Personally, I support taking turns. However rather than splitting dates 50/50, I just expect the female to treat me sometimes. If she wants to use her turn to go to a fancy restaurant that she's paying, I won't argue for. If I'm short on cash, the next date might be a picnic or me cooking dinner.
The important thing is you both have a good time because the company is good and worrying over the details is only going to ruin an otherwise good thing. Most decent woman won't care how big your wallet is anyway, just that you have one.
That's just what I think works for me though, you decide what works for you.
They (roles of men and women) have not been "destroyed", not at all (unless women are suddenly spouting penises and men are bearing kids), they have just changed to be more balanced in certain aspects. I am far from a 'traditionalist' when it comes to men and women and relaitonships... I like strong, intelligent and financially independant women, women that challenge me. However, I do understand some fundamental truths about the natural roles of men and women as dictated by evolution, and that instinctive behaviour has been going on for hundreds of thousands of years, and to think that it is somehow magically radically changing just because society is now progressing with regards to womens positions in society is simply not true. Some fundamental aspects of human behaviour don't change, and likely won't for a long, long time. I see it every day in the office, when im out partying, and when im out dating.
I appreciate your optimistic view on life and how certain things (should) have no relevance and love conquers all, but it's a tad simplistic and naieve imo.
Sounds a bit insecure if you have issues with a girl paying more than you richdog, no doubt you'll argue this but I/most people wouldn't have an issue. However I wouldn't make going somewhere I can't afford a regular thing.
It's not 'insecurity' at all, I was clearly talking about going somewhere you cannot afford, and then having a girl have to pay for you. I have obviously had girls insist on treating me to a drink or meal, but never as a result of them thinking or knowing I can't afford it. For me that would be uncomfortable.
I'll leave you with two final points.
#1 - You stated that 99.9% of the woman you meet feel the same as you. I would counter that it's entirly probably that some of these woman were simply soundboarding your own opinions back at you, because it's a tactic they commonly use when interested. Woman are generally interested in strong men, no doubt about that, but I believe your insecurities on this issue are a weakness that'd turn off more woman than actually having less money than them would.
#2 - Allowing a woman to pay for a date, whether or not said date would have been within your means, doesn't curtail your financial independence. If you're not paying your own rent, bills and groceries, a number of woman will be turned off, no doubt about that, but that probably has less to do with how much money you make and is more a judgement on personal responsibility.
You can disagree, but I feel slightly sorry for you and I'm glad I'm naive.
P.S. Honestly though, I don't think I'd ever tell a woman my net worth early enough for it to really matter. If they don't like me because I'd rather take them to a pub lunch than spend £200+ meal, I'm not really interested in them anyway. If they like me and they later find out they happen to earn way more than me, they'd already be accustomed to the type of dates/life I like and can afford, so it's hardly going to matter.
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So you're the guy that is paying.
It doesn't look worth it at all. Perfectly functional on free membership.
More curiousity than anything. Metrics FTW!
More curiousity than anything. Metrics FTW!
Worst thing about paying is it tells everyone you've paid and thus adds another metric based on why you paid. This guy is serious, this guy is deseperate, etc. Otherwise I agree, knowing how often they view you would be a bonus.
I don't "soundboard" onto women... it is just my experience based on over a decade of talking to many different ladies, young and old, about many different subjects related to this. It's very enlightening, sometimes slightly shocking (because it sometimes smashes your romantic illusions and notions), hearing their opinions on what they look for in men and what they do and don't like. Where I live it is also very international, so I get exposure to women from many different countries, and barring some exceptions due to cultural differences, it's amazing how similarly they think on some of the more core and fundamental issues.
Tell yourself what you like, but don't waste your time feeling sorry for me, just prepare yourself for a bit of a reality check in a few years when you get a bit older and more experienced.#2 - Allowing a woman to pay for a date, whether or not said date would have been within your means, doesn't curtail your financial independence. If you're not paying your own rent, bills and groceries, a number of woman will be turned off, no doubt about that, but that probably has less to do with how much money you make and is more a judgement on personal responsibility.You can disagree, but I feel slightly sorry for you and I'm glad I'm naive.
Anyway, I think we can leave it there, no point in going around in circles. Good luck with your dating either way.
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Richdog I take it you are a rich person? Judging by your nick!
Makes a whole lot of difference when you have money just to burn.
Makes a whole lot of difference when you have money just to burn.
My nickname is nothing whatsoever to do with my financial situation (if only), just as yours probably doesn't mean you like to collect bells of various shapes and sizes.
Maybe, or maybe I'm young enough the woman in my age range are just better people. Unfortunate for you, old man.
What silly comments... Good luck either way.
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My nickname is nothing whatsoever to do with my financial situation (if only), just as yours probably doesn't mean you like to collect bells of various shapes and sizes.
I might though.
What do you think so far?
Maybe, or maybe I'm young enough the woman in my age range are just better people. Unfortunate for you, old man.
What silly comments... Good luck either way.
No, you're just a little immature. As I said though, good luck!
No, you're just a little immature. As I said though, good luck!
Ah yes, judging a persons maturity via the Internet, how very mature of you. Right up there with saying "I'm very mature for my age". *thumbsup*
You can to some extent judge a persons maturity from the internet, and by what they write, yes, Why wouldn't you be able to?
The fact you keep responding and are getting increasingly petty shows I clearly hit a nerve.
I responded akin because you've descended into sillyness that do not warrant legitimate discussion. I mean come on, you've called me immature based on a differing opinion wherein I spend less time judging or caring about being judged.
Your opinions are asinine and toxic, but if that's the world you live in, you do what you need to do. Mines is significantly different, it is one where your critique is utterly meaningless and forever will be.
But if it makes you feel better, sure I'm bothered. You have my motivations down to a T. Now I am worried that I have strayed significantly offtopic, so I'll just say I don't think people should listen to Mr Jaded.
Your opinions are asinine and toxic, but if that's the world you live in, you do what you need to do. Mines is significantly different, it is one where your critique is utterly meaningless and forever will be.
But if it makes you feel better, sure I'm bothered. You have my motivations down to a T. Now I am worried that I have strayed significantly offtopic, so I'll just say I don't think people should listen to Mr Jaded.
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