When I ignore them they just....... escape.
Yeah theres a limit obviously.
This lad has asked her out twice and no luck, a third time is just borderline stalkerish.
Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!
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Yeah theres a limit obviously.
This lad has asked her out twice and no luck, a third time is just borderline stalkerish.
I got an email from OKCUPID when I was on it saying that I was one of the highest rated in my area and would be matched to hotter girls going forward. I then clicked the on the picture feed and I swear they'd only got even more fugly.
It's a tough one. On one hand society and movies have taught guys to pursue the girl, 'fight for her' so to speak and even girls claim this is what they want a lot of the time. On the other hand it's very much the opposite of what works. At the time though scumbag brain comes into play and you think, well if I don't keep asking I won't get because how could ignoring and not asking possibly lead to anything?
Best way to play it is to not put in any more effort than the reward you're getting. Sent a long message and got a little one in return? Damn, maybe you need to try harder, that'll definitely work. Keep trying to arrange a date and getting no definite replies in return? Better keep asking, she just hasn't quite understood your intentions yet.
At the end of the day you're not in this for anyone else, you're in this for you. If the whole dating part isn't enjoyable and seems more trouble than it's worth then it probably is, or should I say they're more trouble than they're worth.
Think I might have potentially been used for sex, yes I know as a male that should make me happy, but meh, we'll see if she wants to meet me again.
Worst 'I got some' post ever
Guys, a girl with a child who I've been talking to for a while (know her from my childhood), worth a punt? She's a year younger, but am very very dubious as I am completely unsure about the whole kid situation.
by 'punt' I don't mean try and get in her pants btw, she is a nice girl!
Worst 'I got some' post ever
Guys, a girl with a child who I've been talking to for a while (know her from my childhood), worth a punt? She's a year younger, but am very very dubious as I am completely unsure about the whole kid situation.
by 'punt' I don't mean try and get in her pants btw, she is a nice girl!
Only you can really answer that one buddy.
I lean heavily towards no because I typically judge those who've already had kids in failed relationships as a bit rash ( for my age range ). But everyone has a different story and just because she may have been stupid then, doesn't mean she hasn't wised up.
Personally I don't like kids I can't tell to shut up, so I'm probably a bad example for advice.
Worst 'I got some' post ever
Guys, a girl with a child who I've been talking to for a while (know her from my childhood), worth a punt? She's a year younger, but am very very dubious as I am completely unsure about the whole kid situation.
by 'punt' I don't mean try and get in her pants btw, she is a nice girl!
I wouldnt bother, single mums and especially mums with young kids i stay away from. As mentioned, its a pain to arrange stuff if they always have to find a babysitter.
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This. It's too much hassle.
Soldato
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forget pussy, lift iron.
Gone from both to neither. FML
I like to think that if you are sensible, the person you decided to have kids with should be the person you can tolerate for the larger part of your life. If it broke down quickly then they are either a poor judge of character or open as regularly as Tesco.
I don't do baggage, but then I can't stand kids under ~12. As you get older, finding women without kids is much more difficult, so I'd say go for those who don't still have dependent children if you look at "mothers" at all.
This. A mate of mine dated a single mum for 5 years. He liked the kid and did loads for her. It turned sour and she breaks up with him and stops him from seeing the kid even though he had begun to think of the kid as his too.
Took him ages to get over it and he wouldn't do it again! Not worth it in my opinion.
Soldato
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well thats one way to go..sort it out dude
Ya ya! Can't join a gym till i get paid, don't know when i'm going to get paid.. Then i might actually dig deep, find some balls and ask someone out from work
Then join pof..
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"do you fancy going for a some lunch and maybe a walk on the beach? how does that sound?" her response was "boring haha" then i text back "ok, how about a nice meal somewhere and couple of drinks?" she said "thats the same thing just later"
Could have been fishing for you to suggest something a bit raunchier but even then some girls online just seem to like suggestive flirting but shy away from the idea of actually meeting up. When I was looking online there was this girl who would ask stuff like "so what you like in bed then?" and was happy to go on webcam but she always had some excuse for not meeting up so I gave up in the end. Anyway in that situation although I know you may feel like you should act gentlemenly (as you don't know her yet) but I'd have probably have gone with something a bit naughty and then laughed it off as a joke if necessary.
Really? Times must have changed, when I was looking (before meeting my partner of 8 years) there were far more men than women at least in terms of active profiles.
As for the thing about difficulty getting a conversation going, delays in replies etc I know what people are saying. My take on it is:
1) As mentioned girls get loads of messages so will probably not invest a lot of time until they think you are worth it
2) The fact people are on a dating site means unlike 'real life' you know with almost absolute certainty that they are metaphorically whoring themselves out to all and sundry i.e. they will have lots of irons in the fire and you are just one of those irons. So what happens is they will keep stringing you along with a few simple messages while they are seeing how some other prospect plays out - it is human nature to want something to fall back on (and also good for the ego to have people interested in you). It is extremely likely that they already have at least one line of communication going with somebody else at the point you start chatting, if not 10.
3) If someone is genuinely interested in you my belief is they will make an effort. If communication becomes awkward / slow, then chances are they aren't THAT into you - especially if you've already met at least once. If you've met and they like you then they will be making the effort to keep in contact. If texts regularly go hours without a reply (ignoring genuine obstacles like work, sleep etc) then I'd take that as a bad sign.
So regarding #3 my advice would be not to waste too much time on dead ends even if there are probably some success stories out there of happily married couples who started out with some boring one-sided 5 sentence conversations twice a week back in the day on Match or Faceparty or AOL chat.
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Time for a bit of sport?
Got this email on Match yesterday from a profile with no pictures:
I don't want to communicate on a site. but I would like to learn more you. leave to me the email and I will send you the photos.
I usually ignore profiles with no pic but decided to pass on an email address. 8 hours later, an email written in the worst English I've ever seen arrives with two pictures. Needless to say, first thing I do is Google search the images which throws up quite a few results, such as:
Anti-scam Forum
So, ball is in my court to reply. Worth having some fun with or just delete and ignore?
Got this email on Match yesterday from a profile with no pictures:
I don't want to communicate on a site. but I would like to learn more you. leave to me the email and I will send you the photos.
I usually ignore profiles with no pic but decided to pass on an email address. 8 hours later, an email written in the worst English I've ever seen arrives with two pictures. Needless to say, first thing I do is Google search the images which throws up quite a few results, such as:
Anti-scam Forum
So, ball is in my court to reply. Worth having some fun with or just delete and ignore?
Soldato
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Why waste your time?
That was my first thought.
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to be my suprise! The girl came back and the date is organised for next Sunday, mini golf.....she started to seem quite interested now, part of me thinks somethint else has let her down....but meh ill see how it goes, but wouldn't be suprised if she cancelled mid week! Still gets me out and about next weekend!
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