Internet Dating.....Who Has Done it?!

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Abraxaz1 said:
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pretty much sums up my last couple of months on the dating scene
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But that means you're claiming confidence comes from an external source, in this case women. Which in turn means you're relying on women's opinion of you to feel worthy of their affection i.e. neediness, the ultimate attraction killer!
 
pretty much sums up my last couple of months on the dating scene
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You need to become a better actor and learn how to fake it. When I was dating I was nervous around women as I didn't want mess up, very quickly though I learn't to relax more as I had nothing to loose other then a single tag at the end of day.
 
ive been ill with a stomach bug since Friday, feeling a lot better today, have to make a decision about weather to go on my date today or not :/ really wanna go, i don't get out the house very often!
 
OK so some of you may remember me going from elation to confusement to frustration re: a girl I saw a few months (and many pages back). Basically the short version is that it started very well, but after a five dates it was clear I was making 90% of the effort and paying for 90% of the stuff and frankly it just felt like she was an expensive friend. I'm not really sure why she even continued to come out. It was hacking me off, making me resentful and everyone was saying I was being far too nice.

So gave her the boot on Thursday. Told her I thought we were looking for different things and she didn't protest.

Anyways TL;DR is - don't spend too much time and money on someone. If it ain't going where you feel it should, don't bother.. get back on the pile and find someone else! :)
 
Holliday said:
But that means you're claiming confidence comes from an external source, in this case women. Which in turn means you're relying on women's opinion of you to feel worthy of their affection i.e. neediness, the ultimate attraction killer!
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the weird thing is that I'm confident in pretty much everything else in life; work, sports learning but put a women in front of me and i become a socially inept recluse.
not sure how I'm supposed to fix that.
 
Abraxaz1 said:
the weird thing is that I'm confident in pretty much everything else in life; work, sports learning but put a women in front of me and i become a socially inept recluse.
not sure how I'm supposed to fix that.
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Just takes practice. I was the same. Eventually you just get used to it and your brain starts functioning normally!

You just have to go through the pain/cringe for a bit first :P
 
I tried it again recently (match). All but one girl (who I am seeing now in its earliest form) were sizing up too much on money, career etc, which reminded me too much of my past relationship, or lied about themselves (best was great pics, but when she rocked up she was fat), and another girl who completely contradicted everything she said on date 2, or clearly had issues/hung up on past.

Don't think I will use it again, as "dates" from my extended network are always better, barring this one currently. She is cool and travels a lot with her job, as I need someone who is not clingy and truly independant (every girl thinks they are independant?!), and lives in the present!
 
FatFishMonster said:
so my date for today has cancelled......apprently she got drunk last night and is feeling rough and wants to move it to another day, must say i might not bother....
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I had that, she got told to GTFO.

1 - She's nervous about meeting and has cancelled therefore she is a bottler and a time waster, move on.
2 - She genuinely thought she could meet up with you after getting wrecked the night before and obviously isn't interested in making a good impression, move on.
3 - Move on.
 
Janesy B said:
I had that, she got told to GTFO.

1 - She's nervous about meeting and has cancelled therefore she is a bottler and a time waster, move on.
2 - She genuinely thought she could meet up with you after getting wrecked the night before and obviously isn't interested in making a good impression, move on.
3 - Move on.
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It was pretty obvious she wasn't interested weeks ago. He will keep clinging onto the hope though. Cue next week saying she's text back and he's re-arranged to give her "one more chance"
 
FatFishMonster said:
so my date for today has cancelled......apprently she got drunk last night and is feeling rough and wants to move it to another day, must say i might not bother....
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Sorry to hear that. As others have said - I think it's best to leave it and see if she gets in touch. If I were looking forward to a date I definitely wouldn't get off my face the night before as I'd want to be hangover-free to make the best impression.

An update on me: I've not been on OKCupid for a bit, so I went on the other day and uploaded a new profile pic and changed some of my text. It definitely worked! Got rid of the time wasters and now I'm chatting to 3 guys at the moment. One's just gone away for work for 5 days (sod's law), but is looking forward to meeting up when he's back. Fingers crossed :D
 
Totality said:
It was pretty obvious she wasn't interested weeks ago. He will keep clinging onto the hope though. Cue next week saying she's text back and he's re-arranged to give her "one more chance"
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shes already been texting me quite a bit, seeming very interested. But meh, too little too late, obviously didn't care about what first impression she gave me! Plenty more fish in the POF pond!
 
It's easy to fire off a few texts, looks like she's just said yes to get you off her back and cancelled on you. That's my negative stance on things :p
 
If she cancels on you, I'd say forget it, especially with that terrible excuse, stop chasing as it will sadly reek of desperation :P

Also having flirty/whatever texts here and there to be honest are meaningless. Best to keep it minimal and judge on meeting them physically, not because you think the texts mean something.
 
londonbairn said:
If she cancels on you, I'd say forget it, especially with that terrible excuse, stop chasing as it will sadly reek of desperation :P

Also having flirty/whatever texts here and there to be honest are meaningless. Best to keep it minimal and judge on meeting them physically, not because you think the texts mean something.
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im not chasing her, although ive replied to her texts, im keeping it short and to the point also with no x's. just to be polite, but im not pushing for another date, as she will just cancel again.


ill log on to my pc later and nose around on pof and send out a few more messages.
 
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