Soldato
It's pretty brave of you to be so open in your profile, kudos. 
I wish you all the best mate.
I wish you all the best mate.
Join the club, make me feel better?
- Thread starter FoxEye
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I'd love to say "yeah I have mates" but the truth is for years I've kept myself to myself. There are people I get on with at work, and people I play football with on a weekly basis, but I'm not sure that these people are my mates. Mates do things together, socialise together (outside of work) and that's something I have just not done. Been a shut-in, basically.
All started at school when I was a fat kid in my youth, got teased a lot and it knocked my confidence badly, so I withdrew and made playing PC games my only interest in life. That has had consequences in shaping the person I am today.
Ask the people you work with/play footy with if you can go out with them sometime, hit the town etc. Don't let your past affect your future, it's your choice; be negative and get nowhere and be miserable for the rest of your life or be more positive, get out of the house and socialise. Being social is the first step you have to take.
Change this starting tomorrow.
Ask the people you play football with what they're doing next weekend, get to know them more.
Is there anyone at work you think you could get with?
Also you're not fat anymore so the problem that existed before has gone!
If I'm honest the last two years for me have been similar, been mostly indoors.
But I don't want this to bring me down.
Soldato
I'm no one to give relationship/whatever advice but seriously remove the majority of whats in your pof profile. It's basically saying 'nothing to see here move on' which clearly isnt what you want people to think. get rid of negatives, list things you like/good at instead of a paragraph of flaws. And with the biggest possible nohomo tag the majority of my friends look far worse than you and have girlfriends somehow so it can be done.
Soldato
I didn't realise this would be displayed. I thought it was just to register/login, and that I'd be able to choose a display name.
OK, think the plan is to delete the profile and try again tomorrow.
And the next time you play football ask them what they're doing in the near future.
Soldato
And now that we can confirm you're not an uggo, take a decent picture of yourself and use that (and no self deprecating captions).
Soldato
Jesus, you even **** yourself off on a login name you think only you and a computer will ever see!!! Aaarrrrggghhhh. POSITIVITY dude!!!!
Associate
Stick to positives, and don't be afraid to log out & have a look at a few other blokes profiles for inspiration. You're a little too honest, read it as if you were someone else & what would you think? And definitely don't mention that you've never been on a date
Oh, and change your profile pick to just one of you, preferably waist up - it show's you're not a bloater.Think of POF as you would job interviews, the more dates you go on the easier they get & the less self conscious you'll feel.
Most of all, good luck. It'll get easier if you put the effort in.
(And exercise, I hate to say it again, but it really helps your frame of mind)
Associate
forget the hooker, and the internet dating.
You need to get talking to some real women.
Best bet is find at least one guy you know or maybe two, no more, and go on a night out.
Have a few drinks, find a small group of girls and your friends will help you out. After a few drinks even if in normal circumstances you wouldn't find each other attractive things happen, and it will give you more confidence than you can imagine. Even a close dance and maybe a snog and a fondle will break the seal!
You need to get talking to some real women.
Best bet is find at least one guy you know or maybe two, no more, and go on a night out.
Have a few drinks, find a small group of girls and your friends will help you out. After a few drinks even if in normal circumstances you wouldn't find each other attractive things happen, and it will give you more confidence than you can imagine. Even a close dance and maybe a snog and a fondle will break the seal!
Jesus, you even **** yourself off on a login name you think only you and a computer will ever see!!! Aaarrrrggghhhh. POSITIVITY dude!!!!
Sorry, sorry, I do this sort of crap without thinking.
So, basically, I'm too negative. This is a learned behaviour reinforced through years of believing I'm a horrible person and thus acting like one.
Need to break out of this vicious circle somehow. How to act positive when you don't feel like it. Must learn this. How to talk to people when your mind is screaming at you that it's hopeless, everybody secretly hates you anyhow. Argh. Have to reverse a lifetime's mental stagnation and overcome self-destructive tendencies, somehow.
Will be a massive task.
See the bits I have underlined. They need to go from your posts and your mind as well.
It will be a big task, but of course you can do it!
Associate
Come to one of our gigs next time we are in Truro or surounding area, Plenty of flange ahappening, I would be happy to introduce you to people.....
Associate
Pretend. After a while you'll realise you don't have to pretend any more. Call it acting if you like, just act how you wish you did and you'll re-wire that brain eventually
What gigs? Sorry I have no idea who you are.
So yeah, I'm 30, never had a girlfriend, never kissed a girl. Starting to get worried about spending the remainder of my days alone :/
Literally everyone I know is married with kids, which doesn't help! I feel like I've completely missed the point of being alive. I just don't know if I'm capable of living a normal life, or if there's something broken that just can't be fixed.
And now, gentlemen, you may begin your mockery
How on earth do you get to be 30 and never kissed a girl?
How do you get to 13 without kissing a girl for that matter......
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