OK, here's the problem. Once I decide to talk (and I'm already crapping myself by this point), my brain is in a fight-or-flight mode and what I'm trying to say comes out completely wrong. As in, I can't make form the ideas into the right words.
Here's an example. I'd be looking at a girl and want to say "you look stunning", and instead I'd say something like "I think I've seen that dress on someone else"... and then I'll freeze, thinking "where the heck did that come from? I didn't want to say that!"
Why on earth would you want to say "You look stunning.." for anyway.
Don't say anything (to begin with), let them do all the talking and just listen (or not when you get adept at mumbling yes or no, or really!!! at the right times), seriously though, the art of conversation is in the mundaneness of it all, the really successful people are the ones who talk about what the other person is interested in, and the only way to find that out is to listen to them and let them drive the conversation. You will find that once you just listen and respond to what they are saying it is is not long before you realise that you have been talking for several hours without pooping yourself or asking her what colour her knickers are when you meant to ask her what she wanted to drink.
And then you have a real worry that whenever you open your mouth, you can't predict what will come out. You feel embarrassed, the other person gets offended or confused, and when you try to fix it you make it worse.
Don't try to fix it, treat it for what it is, and make light of it. Simply tell them how nervous you are, if they are worth talking to they will understand and in fact are probably thinking and feeling the same way.
In fact fluffing your words is a great ice breaker.....use it, don't be afraid of it.
Might sound hard to believe, but this is why I'm the quiet guy who everyone thinks doesn't want to be there. If I open my mouth it's instant embarrassment.
You just think it is, in all likelihood you would be just fine and if not, so what, use it to break the ice as I mentioned above.
It doesn't affect me so badly when typing on the net, but I do take like 10 minutes over each post
Take your phone, if you get tongue tied, write it out in a txt message, this will do two things, one, it is kinda funny in a girl friendly sort of way, and two, you will get her number......
