Monogomy?
- Thread starter nero120
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Men masturbate over other women than their partner, which means we think about having sex with other women (maybe not going ahead and doing it in reality, but thinking of it anyway.) I have a GF, but would still love to have sex with Keeley Hazell, even though I would like to think I would never cheat. We are like this because of our human instincts.
In my opinion, if other men say differently they are lying.
In my opinion, if other men say differently they are lying.
Somebody call? 
OK, I've not read most of this thread so not sure what course it's all taken.
Yes, I can walk down the street and see other girls about that I'd look at and see certain qualities that make them pretty/attractive/etc. But the actual thought of what they'd be like in the sack doesn't really enter my head. I know that for probably 95% of blokes this is the case. My mates are all the same too, but sorry to disappoint, I just don't work like that. I've had years with mates in clubs with them all just oggling birds and I've found it dead boring, it's just not my thing.
So just to recap. See girl and appreciate beauty, yes. See girl and wonder if she's any good in the sack, no.
OK, I've not read most of this thread so not sure what course it's all taken.
Yes, I can walk down the street and see other girls about that I'd look at and see certain qualities that make them pretty/attractive/etc. But the actual thought of what they'd be like in the sack doesn't really enter my head. I know that for probably 95% of blokes this is the case. My mates are all the same too, but sorry to disappoint, I just don't work like that. I've had years with mates in clubs with them all just oggling birds and I've found it dead boring, it's just not my thing.
So just to recap. See girl and appreciate beauty, yes. See girl and wonder if she's any good in the sack, no.
I agree with Pysk (first reply to the thread), Libs (all posts throughout), Desmo and also Piggy to an extent.
What I find annoying is that my other half says stuff like "mmm, Hayden Christensen, buffness...." (yes, she is young before anyone takes the mick)
What I find annoying is that my other half says stuff like "mmm, Hayden Christensen, buffness...." (yes, she is young before anyone takes the mick)
Piggymon said:With all the crap I've been getting in this thread and people thinking they know my bloke better than me I must admit my sense of humor has gone slightly so apologies if I came across as snappy
I dont think Its so much they know him better then you, more they think they know how his mind works in regards to random hotties. And im like Desmo id openly admit with my ex i saw girls and thought yea they are hot, but thats where the mark was any further thoughts never occured...they do now but im single again.
I think if your truly happy with your partner a good 99% of the time you dont need to think like that, there of course may always be the odd exception now and then.
McDaniel said:
Maybe it depends on how sexually charged you are? Ive been with my partner for over 6 years and would never cheat on her, but I do not see it as betraying her if I fantasise about other women. Im not sure if I believe half the men on this thread who say they do not think about other women sexually, I would bet my right nut that they do, or will at some point in the future.
I think when you've been with someone for long enough and gotten past that inital 'exitement' phase, you settle into a kind of 'rhythm' because you know each other so well. Your mind does wander naturally - maybe its a genetic thing, i dont know. Alls I can say is I have a fantastic relationship that I would never jepordise, but neither would I deny who and what I am. If I have thoughts I have thoughts, but it is what I do and the choices that I make that make me who I am. I think women cannot understand this seperation, as piggymon has demonstrated. She cannot see the difference between thought and action, and I think that illustrates the difference between the female and male mind. If I said I had thought about killing this annoying guy at work, would it be enough to condemn me, even though I can control my actions and not see that thought become true?
nero120 said:
i was with my ex for 4 years, but i think i got it when i wanted it so didnt rally think like that, cos i fancied her too much anyway. I guess if i wasnt getting any then it would be different. Im not saying its a bad thing to imagine it or whatnot, as long as you know not to act on it and understand that its means nothing in comparison to what you got
McDaniel said:
Regularity of sex has no bearing on it as far as Im concerned, maybe some guys are naturally programmed to be monogomous and others are not so. But you are right when you say you have to know what thoughts to act on - its all about what you want. i.e. do I want to sacrifice an amazing relationship with a person i respect and love, for a night with another woman? In the mind, its not a very difficult question to answer, but men have more drives than the mind!
Man of Honour
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I thought I'd ass my 2p on this thread, so here goes:
I agree with most that Piggy has said but Roberta I think has it to the point:
In my last relationship, I saw other ladies in the street and thought about them in the sack, but they're just fantasies, and thats perfectly healthy in a relationship. I must admit, although I do still look at women in that way, when i'm in a relationship it certaily is a lot less, it must be subconscious.
I do strongly believe that there is a big difference between a fantasy and actually doing the deed. I would certainly not entertain the serious thought of attempting to cheat, there simply was no need. I was happy and the thought of anything other then sleeping with the missus just didn't happen.
Obviously, if your thinking about sleeping with other women, there is a problem with your relationship. Or your commitment.
Burnsy
I agree with most that Piggy has said but Roberta I think has it to the point:
Roberta said:
In my last relationship, I saw other ladies in the street and thought about them in the sack, but they're just fantasies, and thats perfectly healthy in a relationship. I must admit, although I do still look at women in that way, when i'm in a relationship it certaily is a lot less, it must be subconscious.
I do strongly believe that there is a big difference between a fantasy and actually doing the deed. I would certainly not entertain the serious thought of attempting to cheat, there simply was no need. I was happy and the thought of anything other then sleeping with the missus just didn't happen.
Obviously, if your thinking about sleeping with other women, there is a problem with your relationship. Or your commitment.
Burnsy
nero120 said:
See ... there you go again ! I'm not being funny mate but why oh why can't you just believe that not everyone thinks the same way that you do ?
I do accept that Men generally think differently to Women and I don't claim to understand the ways that men think but I DO understand my other half and he has even posted himself to state the way he feels and thinks so why can't you just accept that ?
Soldato
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I think the important thing we're missing here is that this is an Internet Forum mostly about computers therefore all of the men on here are not normal and are probably paedophiles.
Man of Honour
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Piggy, would you be upset if Desmo did fantasise about other women? Would you compare it to cheating?
Burnsy
Burnsy
burnsy2023 said:
I wouldn't compare it to cheating but I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't bother me
I don't fantasise about other men so I don't see why he would fantasise about other women
Besides ... he's got me and my boobies .. he doesn't need anything else
Piggymon said:I don't fantasise about other men so I don't see why he would fantasise about other women
Besides ... he's got me and my boobies .. he doesn't need anything else
As valid as both those points are
At the end of the day he will think like any other red blooded male. He even said he likes appreciating the beauty of other women and men only appreciate beauty for one thing...
On a side note Piggy; sorry if I've annoyed you in this thread - didn't mean to
Nix said:As valid as both those points are
At the end of the day he will think like any other red blooded male. He even said he likes appreciating the beauty of other women and men only appreciate beauty for one thing...
On a side note Piggy; sorry if I've annoyed you in this thread - didn't mean to
He didn't say that he LIKES appreciating beauty he said he was ABLE to .... 2 different things
Appreciating that someone is nice looking and thinking about wanting to nail said person are 2 different things ! ... i.e I can look at a piccy of GordyR and say he is a nice looking lad just as Desmo can look at a piccy of Libs and say she is a nice looking lass but that doesn't mean to say either of us are thinking about doing a swapsy !!
You haven't annoyed me mate , we just have different opinions
p.s - My boobies rock and he wubbs them !
Piggymon said:He didn't say that he LIKES appreciating beauty he said he was ABLE to .... 2 different things
Appreciating that someone is nice looking and thinking about wanting to nail said person are 2 different things ! ... i.e I can look at a piccy of GordyR and say he is a nice looking lad just as Desmo can look at a piccy of Libs and say she is a nice looking lass but that doesn't mean to say either of us are thinking about doing a swapsy !!
You haven't annoyed me mate , we just have different opinions
p.s - My boobies rock and he wubbs them !
I think the truth may lie between our opinions. I only know one side of the story, and being that i'm single atm, I think with a single man's attitude
I guess there's a difference between appreciating beauty and then really appreciating beauty if you follow...
Nix said:I think the truth may lie between our opinions. I only know one side of the story, and being that i'm single atm, I think with a single man's attitude
I guess there's a difference between appreciating beauty and then really appreciating beauty if you follow...
Normally a single man will have a different outlook on women than a happily attached man just as a single woman will normally have a different outlook than a happily attached woman
I know men and women think differently and I'm not denying this - I know men have a more physical side and women have a more emotional side
And yes I think there is a difference between being able to recognise that someone is asthetically pleasing and thinking about wanting to nail someone
Everyone is different and people have different relationships and different boundries
The OP said his missus doesn't mind him oggling other women and if that works for them that's fine, some women will not tolerate the slightest bit of porn ... i'd like to think I'm somewhere in the middle
I don't mind porn and quite like getting involved but from my POV it's different than oggling at a bird in the street because the porn is something on the TV and not some real life siren walking right in front of you
Kinda hard to explain but at the end of the day our relationship works and works well and Desmo just isn't the type to sit there and ogle and never has been .. he's said so himself