Natural/in built motivation?

Interesting subject.

Personally, I think people with die hard motivation and dedication to something have a sort of block on the sad reality that life is mostly luck and chances are quite high that they will fail.

Our world and economy just simply isnt built for everyone to "be who they want to be" or " do what they want to do".

For every success story, there are millions of failures, and there has to be, otherwise the world as it is would not function.

Don't get me wrong, I think you can't get far in life from nothing, without intense dedication or motivation. However, failure doesn't mean you didn't try as hard as the person who succeeded.

I realise this is a pessimistic outlook, but it is am objectively sensible and real one.
 
I suffer days where I feel like I don't have any motivation to do things. These tend to be the days that I haven't thought out what I *should* be doing. However, the only real way to change this is to create discipline.

Discipline will always win over motivation.

Take exercising for example - I know i enjoy it, I know i want to do it more to be healthier etc. just somedays I don't feel like it - but I have a set amount of workouts I need to get done in a week, and discipline will make me stick to them. I find the less thought put into doing something, and more 'just getting on with it' really helps. And 9 times out of 10, after 5 minutes I'm very glad I've stuck to the discipline.
 
Jono8 said:
Interesting subject.

Personally, I think people with die hard motivation and dedication to something have a sort of block on the sad reality that life is mostly luck and chances are quite high that they will fail.

Our world and economy just simply isnt built for everyone to "be who they want to be" or " do what they want to do".

For every success story, there are millions of failures, and there has to be, otherwise the world as it is would not function.

Don't get me wrong, I think you can't get far in life from nothing, without intense dedication or motivation. However, failure doesn't mean you didn't try as hard as the person who succeeded.

I realise this is a pessimistic outlook, but it is am objectively sensible and real one.
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If you enjoy the process then surely that's the biggest win you can have. Your post sounds very much "what's the point in trying because you're bound to fail anything" - If you enjoy doing nothing, fine, but most people sit and complain about their lives, where they're at, what they do, what they don't have and all of the rest, yet aren't willing to stick their head out of their trench for fear of getting shot.
Comfort is the death of growth and change is inevitable but people don't like it, because it ***** with their comfort. If you find comfort in change, and enjoy the process of trying, it makes it so much easier to get up every day and go at it.
 
randomshenans said:
If you enjoy the process then surely that's the biggest win you can have. Your post sounds very much "what's the point in trying because you're bound to fail anything" - If you enjoy doing nothing, fine, but most people sit and complain about their lives, where they're at, what they do, what they don't have and all of the rest, yet aren't willing to stick their head out of their trench for fear of getting shot.
Comfort is the death of growth and change is inevitable but people don't like it, because it ***** with their comfort. If you find comfort in change, and enjoy the process of trying, it makes it so much easier to get up every day and go at it.
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Yes I suppose I'm conflating motivation with success somewhat.

However, from an existential point of view it's often difficult to just enjoy the process, when it most likely will all out to nothing.
 
Jono8 said:
However, from an existential point of view it's often difficult to just enjoy the process, when it most likely will all out to nothing.
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It depends what your measure is of amounting to nothing. I love learning, so everything is a learn. Wins are small along the way. If something doesn't turn out the way I hoped, I learn and move on to the next with what I learned. I might have a day of hmmmph but then off I go. The process for me has helped me understand myself better, what I enjoy and what I don't. It's helped me learn a **** load. It helped me get the current job I have. It's helped me meet some of the most interesting and greatest people ever. It's led to some of the greatest memories of my life. That's where the happiness lies for me. You have to find your measure of what you're looking for and if you think you have it and it's a thing, or an end goal, you'll never hit it. Or, you will and you'll realise how hollow it was and be looking for the next thing.

I can say that from experience, as I chased this for a long time. Got the thing. Got the money etc. and it was so hollow and meant nothing longer term. The best things I find now are in the every day. That's my motivation for everything, to enjoy the smallest moments along the way, because they're magical.

EDIT: I should also say that my ADHD is most definitely on the hyperactive side, which means that not doing everything all at once, all of the time really messes with me, but then I burn out and physically can't do anything for 1,2,3 days to a week and have the worst anxiety and self loathing for not being productive :cry: but I am finding ways to balance all of that. I say this because I think my bouncebackability also partly comes from my need to. Which slants my motivation over others. The whole enjoying the process part though was something I really had to learn and adopt slowly myself as well though.
 
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Jono8 said:
Interesting subject.

Personally, I think people with die hard motivation and dedication to something have a sort of block on the sad reality that life is mostly luck and chances are quite high that they will fail.

Our world and economy just simply isnt built for everyone to "be who they want to be" or " do what they want to do".

For every success story, there are millions of failures, and there has to be, otherwise the world as it is would not function.

Don't get me wrong, I think you can't get far in life from nothing, without intense dedication or motivation. However, failure doesn't mean you didn't try as hard as the person who succeeded.

I realise this is a pessimistic outlook, but it is am objectively sensible and real one.
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Luckily for me, I can count on plenty of people like you to increase my odds of success.

You make your own luck to at least some degree.
 
Lopéz said:
You make your own luck to at least some degree.
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I'm guessing you haven't read my posts, because i acknowledged this.

Regardless, none of it matters, as we will all be dust and forgotten in an infinitesimally small amount of time in relation to the universe.

Lopez on ocuk forum was a success? So what. It wont matter at all and it will have all been for absolutely nothing.
 
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Jono8 said:
I'm guessing you haven't read my posts, because i acknowledged this.

Regardless, none of it matters, as we will all be dust and forgotten in an infinitesimally small amount of time in relation to the universe.

Lopez on ocuk forum was a success? So what. It wont matter at all and it will have all been for absolutely nothing.
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Brilliant. You must be a riot at parties.

The "so what" is that I will have enjoyed my life through rich experiences, and you will have spent it thinking nothing matters and it's all for nothing.
What do you do when you have that mindset - wake up, eat some dry Ryvita, go to work, do the minimum, come home, eat some more dry Ryvita, turn off the light and go to sleep?

I'm not saying that's specifically the case, I'm just generalising.
 
Jono8 said:
Lopez on ocuk forum was a success? So what. It wont matter at all and it will have all been for absolutely nothing.
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I feel sad you see things like this. I leave memories with my family, friends and those around me as well as having maximised everything I can from life. Doesn't matter to me when I'm not here, but it does when I still am
 
413x said:
I know it's hard.
I have same.

It takes me ages to do DIY jobs. Especially painting. I think for DIY I'm quite perfectionist so it is frustrating seeing bad bits. And this can easily happen with feature walls etc. So it kills motivation.

Worse still is hobbies. I have hobbies that I love but simply getting out of the house is difficult.
It's OK if I book. Or I'm going with others. Then I'll always go. But if I'm just going for a bike ride it can be hard to get.out.


Depression runs in my family and this absolutely doesn't help. Also I'm not got with an organised life.


I always try to motivate myself. But I have to say its always a struggle. And time is always slipping by in the background
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I already posted the above.

But having just gone through a big C scare (come out clear) it's emphasised even more how saving for the future and not making most of now is a dangerous game.


Even though I believe when you die that's it. There's no after life. No memories. If you follow the "it doesn't matter" mentality you are going to live a miserable life.

For me I want to look back having made most of time. To have visited places, to have been out on my bike at weekends etc.


Even more after this I value time and don't want to waste it. The endless battle with my mental state (apathy, depression) will always be there. And finding that motivation will always be hard.

But having gone through thoughts of the end. What did I value? The kayaking holiday I did in Norway that year. Not the 20k I put into my Isa.
In fact I'd go further as I thought about my will. And how much estate (pension, savings etc) I have amased vs how much I've lived. And it's way out of kilter.

I've spent too much time saving for tomorrow. Although this is sensible. I've gone too far. The worst fear going through those thoughts was... Damn I shouldnt have put that holiday off until next year.


If this has a good end result it will be to be aware (truly aware) time is short. And you never know. Make most of now.


As to the motivation piece, you do have to find it in yourself. My mum does nothing now due to her depression. Nothing can get her out of it. So she's well off but miserable and it's horrible to see.


How to not be that person? Medication, cbt, gym/sports.. Doesn't matter what it is. But don't look back and regret. It's a cliché and we all know it. But sometimes only really facing dark times makes you appreciate life.


Makes me think of the muse lyric. Don't waste your time, or time will waste you.

Edit.
I also thought about my dog, and missing out on him growing up. I thought about what my friends and family would see that I wouldn't. Not anything material, like the next house or a nice car. Or career, never did I think about that.
I've chosen not to have kids and that didn't become a regret either.
A true scare really makes you see what you value. Well, it did for me.
I feel this shows me I value experiences not possions or career. And it's allowing me to go forward knowing this. I will be taking more holidays from now on. And not putting off things I can do now. Motivation is core.
 
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I suffer from both poor motivation and laziness. "Inertia" would sum up my problem nicely.

The laziness is my fault, and I accept that.

The motivation thing is complicated. It's largely a result of my upbringing. My wife has been very helpful in making me understand this.

My parents were very negative and told me, pretty much, "there is no point in trying- the system is rigged".

It's only in the last couple of years I have realised that was both nonsense and damaging. It led to me not taking advantage of opportunitues and settling for the easy option, nearly every time. I then arrogantly assumed that my failures were not my fault, when they really were. Ah well, at least I have learned.

I have taken a very different approach with my children. I encourage them to always be positive, do their best, and to take opportunities when they can.

To be fair, I am happy with my life as it is and do appreciate how fortunate I am.
 
I have a massive calendar on the back of the kitchen door. Every day I have something written on the back of it.

It could be something simple as "cut the grass" but it means the jobs do not build up and become overwhelming where you end up going "meh" and do nothing. The missus fills it in for me and I add bits. I find it is so much better now than it was before as whilst I am very skilled with my hands getting going has always been the trouble for me.

I have done this for a few years now and I find I have a lot more motivation to get stuff done. I had my M.O.T for my car last week which passed but had an advisory for brake balance. Ended up stripping down, painting and rebuilding all four callipers with new pistons and seals all done over the weekend. Normally a job like that would take me months to do.
 
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