News on Wife (reason for being away for a day)

Caporegime
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I have a budget of around £130 stretch to £150 for a thermal hoodie that the zip doesn't break in a month and a pair of boots/shoes for the winter (I am going to start walking the Dogs a lot) any suggestions.
Decathlon sell decent quality products at reasonable prices. I tend to wear their gear skiing, so should be more than warm and durable enough for a good ramble!
 
Associate
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A large portion of your life has just changed dramatically.

You're right to keep yourself occupied. Can't offer more than what everyone else has already said. Only..., even when you don't want others around you, don't let yourself be alone.
 
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@Calranthe I just read this thread and wanted to offer my condolences. I was surprised to see the Ninja Kiwi beanie - I'm a programmer at NK so from one fan to another, I'm sorry for your loss.
Me and Paola did a post on the BTD6 reddit thanking them for all the fun time while she was ill and how the Bloons games had got us through some pretty rough things, NK contacted us and wanted to send us a gift.
 
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A large portion of your life has just changed dramatically.

You're right to keep yourself occupied. Can't offer more than what everyone else has already said. Only..., even when you don't want others around you, don't let yourself be alone.

I think its going to really hit me after the next couple of weeks, once the funeral is organised and all the paper work is settled, once I have all the medical equipment removed and have done all the reorganising of the house that needs doing, I know that everything I am doing is a distraction.

That is when I will need friends and people to help, visitors will be welcome.

Do you know I only realised tonight while playing AC Origins that for 20 years i've worn headphones always with one ear on one ear off so I could always hear Paola if she needed me.
 

Dup

Dup

Soldato
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For comfy boots that aren't terribly expensive you can usually pick up some Solomon from Sports Direct or similar that'll cover all bases for ~£60. I'm the type to be up Snowdon in February during a snow storm where most would buy expensive leather boots for that kind of activity but for your every day comfort plus technical ability you can't go wrong and they're cheap to replace (if you're like me and destroy footwear). I walk my dogs twice a day and they last well.

I'd recommend a decent branded waterproof coat with a zip in/out fleece (3 in 1 i think they call them) but they can be expensive. Check out outlet stores for such things you'd be surprised what you can find. If it wasn't for my little one I'd offer to drag you up the nearest hill with the dogs.
 
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I have also fulfilled a promise to Paola, she wanted me to visit all the forums online all those games and places that had touched us and in some way improved our lives and thank them.
I just did the last one.
 
Soldato
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Im not really sure what to say bud. Ive been reading your threads with interest as your loyalty and selflessness you showed your wife is admirable. Im so sorry for your loss. She might be gone, but you will never forget her. And that's what matters.
 
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I have a budget of around £130 stretch to £150 for a thermal hoodie that the zip doesn't break in a month and a pair of boots/shoes for the winter (I am going to start walking the Dogs a lot) any suggestions.

Debenhams do a very good Craghoppers sale every year at this time:

https://www.debenhams.com/men/craghoppers

Their gear is good value at those prices.
 
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I have something like 26 TV series to watch now, see Paola was so ill most of the time that we really had to limit what we did, even watching a 1 hour show would tire her out, a lot of series were put on the back burner in case she ever felt better or had energy.
 
Soldato
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I forced myself to play a computer game last night, Assassin's Creed Origins, I promised myself I will complete it because Paola bought me Assassin's Creed Oddest for my birthday on the 17th, she also pre ordered Just cause 4 for me.

Play every game she ever got for you, new and old. Play them, finish them and tell her in your prayers that the end sequence for each game, was for her.
 
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I went on a long walk tonight visiting a lot of the places I used to take Paola, walked the dogs (separately because they are too hectic together).
Burnt some of the last old documents and boxes.
The Dialysis company is coming on Monday to remove 80+ boxes of fluid and medical equipment.
Stair lift company is removing the stair lift we rented.
Bank has closed down her account.
DWP has been advised and accounts updated, benefits changed.
Funeral Director from local family owned business (who buried my dad 45 years ago) are coming on Tuesday morning.
Mediquip should arrive on Friday to remove other items.
I completed Assassins Creed Origins last night.

I think that I accomplished a lot.

Still feel like hell but I did something.
 
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Please speak to someone. Not online, not typing something, sit down with another person, look at them and speak to them and listen. It'll help.

This. Very much this.

TV left on, and in game chats (Team Speak, Ventrillo, Discord, etc) all can be turned off and a part of any persons mind, is an extension out from something that doesn't matter in the end; it can be turned off simply because it can be. But another person not only brings uncertainty on what they say, you can't get away from them if things start feeling tough emotionally. Which helps a person confront issues they may hide away from otherwise.

But a suggestion if you need something for leaving on TV running to hear in the background; The original Thundercats from the 80's is largely uplifting and has great music that also helps keep the mood light and high. Something that helps when a person has run into lifes big changes such as yourself.
 
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How old are you Calranthe?

Are you young enough to allow time to heal things, and have a life again in the future?

If so, then this I hope would give some cause for optimism, as would not having someone you care about suffering and in pain. I'm sure to the layman this will sound sick, but I recently lost my father to cancer, and in the end I was actually grateful he passed so quickly, sparing him the agony and misery he was in.

I hope you can build a new life again, and make your wife proud. I hope things work out and you get the karma back for all the care and effort and dedication you gave for your wife.
 
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