How old are you Calranthe?
Are you young enough to allow time to heal things, and have a life again in the future?
If so, then this I hope would give some cause for optimism, as would not having someone you care about suffering and in pain. I'm sure to the layman this will sound sick, but I recently lost my father to cancer, and in the end I was actually grateful he passed so quickly, sparing him the agony and misery he was in.
I hope you can build a new life again, and make your wife proud. I hope things work out and you get the karma back for all the care and effort and dedication you gave for your wife.
I am 48, I plan to reply to all the messages in this thread, take up all the offers of contact and advice in the coming week.
For now I am trying to get the house in order, preparing for the people to fetch the medical equipment.
I will give more details once I have them.
Thank you.