News on Wife (reason for being away for a day)

American Truck Simulator is now fully working, it is a great way to distract yourself for hours at a time, especially in VR and with a wheel travelling the roads of the USA and delivering goods is sort of zen like.

Slowly going through all my games installed and making sure they all work so that if I did want to play any its 0 effort. (that is why I didn't play F4VR much before never had it setup to play).

Taken a break from the Laundry files (finished book 5) Audio books and Dresden Files (Finished book 12) so that I don't go through them too quickly, started on a new series SPI Files.
Paola used to buy me a lot of series on audible anything she thought I would like, never had much time to read them when I was looking after her.

Oh Project Number 2, cobbled together a Projector, in theory for example if I have visitors and we want to watch a film or play old games on a big screen the projector will be able to do 1080p 200" displace.
 
dowie said:
Have you seen EVH's arcade machine thread - that could be an interesting project to work on and the end result looks really good, seem you can get it in kit form and then glue/assemble and provide your own monitor/PC etc..

https://forums.overclockers.co.uk/t...ild-thread-no-emulation-talk-please.18846081/
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That looked great would cost quite abit, 99% of what I am using is stuff I already had, although no reason I couldn't at a later date stick this pc inside a case like that I would love it.
 
What have I lost?

Everything that really mattered, people talk about soul mates in a romantic way but if you have someone who you spent every waking moment with, who knew you better than you knew yourself what else could it be.

I never believed in love at first sight, but love at first talk? that's another thing entirely, imagine meeting someone for the first time and you just click, the first 4 hours just disappear because you are just talking, a person that within the first 48 hours you have shared everything with, i'm not just talking the normal stuff but everything, even down to what porn you like and your deepest darkest desires, no fear of recrimination, no fear of being judged, you never have to hide anything from her ever in 21 years she knows you so well that not only can she add new book lists, films, TV to your todo list but also picks out porn for you and points out women she knows you will think are hot.

Even with all this valentine talk and all the romantic stuff on TV and Film I don't think in practice many people have that.

Where your wife is your best friend.

And that is a sad thought

Every MMORPG I ever played she played with me and not because she wanted to follow me around she always played her own class and method, she was in one of the early teams for Unreal Tournament before the arthritis really kicked in, she was an amazing sniper, we never let anyone know she was female, back then mic's were not a given thing.

We had our own team on counterstrike before it became Go.

We did live action roleplay Vampire, Mage, Werewolf she made all our costumes.

She always found something new for us to do, a game to try, a show to watch or a rare old B movie only available on VHS.

She ran a Science Fiction club.

Yes we had our fights and some of them were real yelling matches, when you have two people who are both stubborn and both frustrated as hell at the cards dealt you each become each others target.


It is a sad thought when I think that not many people in the world ever had that level of connection and the main reason I think that is because so many people I meet tell me "it will get better" "time will heal"

Really?
you know that for a fact, you spent 21 years with your perfect partner who matched you in every way possible?

Like I have said before.

I keep myself distracted, I work on projects and turning the house into my perfect man cave, I play games and listen to audio books not because I am enjoying them but because if I stop distracting myself then I am lost, I am broken and nothing may ever change that, life will never be the same, I am pretty damn sure that I will never meet anyone like her again and a future without her is bleak and deadened.

Please everyone, if you have anyone you care for make sure they know EVERY damn day, make sure you don't wait for valentines day, make sure you don't wait till next year for a holiday, there is a lot people can do together that costs very little, spend time with those you love because...

The one certainty in life is one day, it could be tomorrow or in 20 years will be the last day they exist and the worst thing to have is regret.

What happens to me will happen to me, but you all or most of you still have that person or could make it happen NEVER take love and friendship for granted.
 
As part of me sorting out all the stuff in the house and turning rooms into entertainment and distractions I unpacked my old CB radio will set it up later, I found my PS Vita with the cover Paola made for me, which almost set me off, then I found our old not so white now Nintendo Ds Lite, it is how Paola introduced me to hand held gaming and mobile gaming, I was a hardcore gamer and always laughed off handhelds and mobile, way before the current amazing mobile phones she had me playing Animal crossing and solitaire (I was convinced that damn thing hated me the amount of games I lost).

I can't lie on this it broke me to hold that in my hand again and remember those times laying in bed before sleep taking turns to play.

And now i'm on the hunt to find my damn raspberry pi 3b+ its gone missing can't find it anywhere in the house.

Found the errant pi it had sneaked itself down behind my desk. Now to install Kodi and play with that.
 
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Nintendo Ds Lite is going to have life again, ordered a new battery for it and grabbed Pokemon Soul Silver on ebay.

As for the Ps Vita I will continue with the game that in my opinion is the best game to ever come on that system Persona 4 golden.

As it stands I have enough entertainment systems setup in the house (every room has its own PC or console or both) to cater to 5+ visiting gamers *shakes head*
 
Have you entertained the idea of setting up a meetup? You have everything in place and it could take you from having things to distract you to genuine human connections to distract you :)
 
All is a waiting game now until 20th when I see the Oncologist in the afternoon, can't really move on until I know whether or not I am having Chemotherapy.
I used meetup to setup a meeting for this coming friday.

I am just organising the house to have everything setup ready for use.

It is keeping me busy.
 
I did something scary, had the first VR meet up on friday, 4 people + me, we did Google earth VR, SuperhotVR. It went well, two of them had never tried VR before.
I am tired this weekend having problem sleeping.
 
Here is how the 4 gaming stations in the house are setup, two are VR enabled and both of the others are VR capable, I may save up for a couple of HP Windows mixed reality HMD's for the other two so if 4 people visit everyone can be in VR.

https://imgur.com/gallery/0dtOYxs

Meetup . com is the place.

So for Meetup, I am setting up a weekly night (snacks and soft drinks provided) and one weekend a month which is called a B-movie special either Saturday or Sunday 12-6 (we will order take out or I will cook a meal) 3 random B-movies from the 70s-90's and we sit around the living room laughing our ass off at them.

Future plan (the laptop in station 4 is VR capable) get that all sorted

Back yard has a fire pit but is a mess, clean it up and get s 240" (20ft) projector screen for my 1080p projector and we can sit outside watching the latest Marvel movies or gaming on that.

I am still not up to gaming much (see exception below) but that meetup proved to me I was so happy to see others laughing and ooohing and ahhhhhing as they tried to stay alive in SuperhotVR.


The exception is Japanese RPG Maker games.
I have VNR to translate the games in real time which gives you 60-80% understanding and well lets just say i've picked up a few Japanese words like Save game Load game new game and equipment.

People think Darksouls is hard and a challenge sorry I would laugh in there faces, try playing an Asian game built on there idea of challenges, a game where you only understand 80% max and need to figure it out on the fly, games that have stories and sacrifice and death in them (last one I played your companion after a 60 hour campaign died of an illness) and if you play them on the settings intended you die a lot, they have tactics and spell systems based on blood type, moon phases, hour of the day and companions or clothes. (and that is usually the 20% of the game that doesn't get translated).

it is probably the challenge and focus, see if I am playing AC Odyssey I will still be thinking of Paola, if I watch a film or do the washing, if I am playing one of these games then I am 100% focused.

The only down side is avoiding the Japanese porn RPG's not that I'm a prude and I have seen amazing RPG's of the adult variety that actually have a story but not really into anything like that anymore.
 
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Okay what is it with the universe wanting to scr3w me over, I need to go for a CT scan within the next week because the cancer could have spread to my lungs, now if it has then Chemo is inevitable and it also means the cancer has gone from stage 2 to stage 4, the ludicrous part of all of this is, its sort of like 1% of 1% see with bowel cancer for it to go anywhere it usually has to breach the lining, travel vial the lymph system or vein system and normally it never jumps passed all of that to the lungs.

If it has then I am pretty much fubar.
 
Is that routine or has something else prompted it? Easier said than done I know but try not to worry too much about what ifs yet, especially with regards to low probability stuff. They're going to want to rule this stuff out.

Anyway best of luck, I hope you get the all clear form the scan! :)
 
dowie said:
Is that routine or has something else prompted it? Easier said than done I know but try not to worry too much about what ifs yet, especially with regards to low probability stuff. They're going to want to rule this stuff out.

Anyway best of luck, I hope you get the all clear form the scan! :)
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They took a CT scan before my op in December and one post Op which showed an enlargement, now it could just be an infection I had at the time, they will know with the new CT.
 
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