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OcUK Dadsnet thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Devrij, Jul 30, 2016.

  1. robgmun

    Capodecina

    Joined: Apr 30, 2006

    Posts: 15,504

    Location: London

    Were at week 19. Our 20-week scan is next Tuesday and we'll finally get some answers as we're both wondering whats going on in there. What's worrying me was at the 16-week scan it looked very very cramped in there with no space. All the pictures we've seen online is a baby floating in a bubble but ours looked very squashed up. Also, my wife says she still hasn't felt any movements. We're getting a little anxious now
     
  2. RoboCod

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jun 19, 2004

    Posts: 17,405

    Location: On the Amiga500

    My son is 12 months old and has all his front teeth through. My niece is 15 months old and has just one tooth. Clearly, it varies.
     
  3. NiCkNaMe

    Mobster

    Joined: Jul 17, 2005

    Posts: 3,042

    Sorry not helpful, but it does make me laugh (and then get angry) around some of this stuff when it's at such a small age. Measurement by metrics and the need for experts to fit everything into neat little boxes, probably indicative of development issues they themselves had had. People are unique, we're not robots, we all develop and act differently. Yes there are extreme edge cases, but IMO, they should be very evident and the parents should be well aware and treatment is legit.
     
  4. NVP

    Soldato

    Joined: Sep 6, 2007

    Posts: 6,677

    Sounds like they're wanting to check for social skills (autism?) rather than any learning difficulties. Follow their guidance if you think they're correct, you know your son best.

    These safeguards are in place for all kids so they get the right help if they need it at the earliest opportunity.
     
  5. NiCkNaMe

    Mobster

    Joined: Jul 17, 2005

    Posts: 3,042

    Who knows what they need at the "earliest" opportunity. Maybe they're just developing differently and the help will end up screwing them up.
     
  6. NVP

    Soldato

    Joined: Sep 6, 2007

    Posts: 6,677

    Maybe the Special Educational Needs Coordinator knows...
     
  7. kinger8938

    Sgarrista

    Joined: Mar 23, 2011

    Posts: 9,283


    I agree with it seemingly a bit over the top at his age. We are of course going with the flow, but to us he seems fine. I'm not concerned really, but my partner is a little just because it wasnt really explained (and she didnt ask enough at the time) we shall see

    To NVP
    Yeah it seems to be around social skills I guess. Personally I dont see any issues here. When we arrive at preschool hes always going up to everyone saying hello etc and if anything, the other kids dont respond and he then looks a bit confused :D

    Ehh we shall see. It's never nice to think something may be off, but everyone has his best interests at heart I suppose

    *also to add, they said it may take a while as it's not a priority, so to me that confirms it can't be too bad but again I dont know.
     
  8. byeo

    Wise Guy

    Joined: Sep 11, 2013

    Posts: 2,476

    Location: Sheffield/Nottingham

    How do you guys cope with baby not settling down at night? During the day he’ll sleep fine, more than fine really, he seems to do nothing but sleep during the day but at night in his Moses basket he doesn’t seem to have a great sleep and will be up/down and is very restless which isn’t great for him or mum and dad.

    To be fair, it is early days, he’s 4 days old and I guess we still need to get that routine in order.
     
  9. NVP

    Soldato

    Joined: Sep 6, 2007

    Posts: 6,677

    4 days old he just wants to know you're close. When they're that young they just want contact, butwhite noise machines help - there's a sheep which does heart beat sounds inside the white noise and has a 20min timer which is quite good to settle them off, but I can't recall what it's called.

    Day/night conditioning we did a little later on which also helps with night-time sleeping.

    Some babies just dont like moses baskets as they can't stretch out, but at that age I doubt that's the problem.

    Our first never stayed in his moses basket, and my 7month old is currently going through a phase of "I'll only sleep on your bed" mischief.

    Either way you'll never get a good night's sleep now for quite some time, but theres a wonder weeks app which may help you prepare for things as they come :)

    Congrats btw
     
  10. Minibiker

    Mobster

    Joined: Mar 27, 2016

    Posts: 4,093

    Location: Swindon

    @NVP we had an Ewan Sheep which looks cute and cuddly and also plays heartbeat sound to the baby, it worked a treat but all babies are different, our little boy would just happily lay there and sleep when he was ready but our little girl always needed to know we were near that's when we decided to get the sheep..

    Congrats @byeo it's hard work the first few weeks/months but will all be worth the sleepless nights
     
  11. Andybtsn

    Don

    Joined: Oct 23, 2005

    Posts: 39,619

    Location: North Yorkshire

    Parenthood would be so much easier if there was an answer to this...

    Our first was a terrible sleeper, needed comfort and singing to sleep pretty much, then you had to ninga out of the room and pray. She would tend to sleep through though, breast fed baby.
    Second one relied on white noise in his room, he would have an iPad playing continuous hoover style sound and it would trigger his sleep. He was amazing at sleeping, 7pm-9am. Breast fed baby.
    3rd, relies on sucking his thumb to give him comfort, another who will sleep all the way through. Bottle baby

    I had it pretty easy.
     
  12. RoboCod

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jun 19, 2004

    Posts: 17,405

    Location: On the Amiga500

    12 months in and we have still yet to sleep right through. He's up several times in the night and can take ages to settle initially.

    Forget about sleep :p after the initial shock of the extreme tiredness, you'll soon become accustomed to it and then chronic fatigue will set in. Once you're at that point you'll have achieved true zombie parent mode. That or you'll be lucky and get a baby who settles into a lovely routine but don't expect that any time soon! Fingers crossed!
     
  13. goldy6660

    Gangster

    Joined: Jun 12, 2016

    Posts: 105

    Location: North West




    18 months in and same situation...up every four hours. I'm sure kids are terrorists
     
  14. RoboCod

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jun 19, 2004

    Posts: 17,405

    Location: On the Amiga500

    Soul destroying isn't it? But we just plod on, secretly wishing death upon the smug ***** who say to our faces: "oh, our little Johnny sleeps right through, he has done since 8 weeks bless him"...
    FUUUUUUUUUUUUU
     
  15. goldy6660

    Gangster

    Joined: Jun 12, 2016

    Posts: 105

    Location: North West

    Yeah...it gets worse right now we're at the stage where we can start to communicate.

    Me: would you like a yoghurt?
    Son:Nooo.
    Me: would you like a packet of crisps?
    Son: YES!!!!!
    I open crisps, offer him one
    Son; Nooooooooo
    Me: oh come on!!!?
    Son: Noooo.

    Me: do you want a yoghurt
    Son: YES!
    Me: FML.
     
  16. Minstadave

    Caporegime

    Joined: Jan 8, 2004

    Posts: 25,253

    Location: Rutland

    4 days old, dear god, the child hasn't known anything but floating around in the womb for more than a few hours. I wouldn't worry about them not knowing a day night cycle.
     
  17. goldy6660

    Gangster

    Joined: Jun 12, 2016

    Posts: 105

    Location: North West


    Lol 4 days old. My wife breastfed ours, he has been a terrorist since forever. 18months time served so far.
    They say babies that are full sleep better. Ours got used to the boob and has never taken a bottle.
     
  18. sith

    Hitman

    Joined: Apr 7, 2003

    Posts: 511

    As above, 4 days you are on their time matey. Strap in and enjoy. We are 4 weeks in and our little girl is 'somewhat' seeming to understand day and night, but we just go with whatever she's doing. We did find that the unsettled time in her moses was mostly due to reflux so we put some books under one side to prop her up which has helped loads. With regards to sleep, neither mom or I are great sleepers in general, so until little one settles down we have a split routine. I take her from 7pm to 1:30am so mum can sleep, then she takes over and I jump into bed. Works for us, and I'm smashing loads of movies!

    Congrats on your new arrival though. Don't stress out about anything, just go with it, and don't google everything, theres too much mixed advice out there. Use the midwives and health workers who visit you - they are great!
     
  19. Devrij

    Capodecina

    Joined: Jul 23, 2009

    Posts: 13,290

    Location: Bath

    4 days in you just gotta roll with it as the others have said. Things start to settle into a routine soon (sometimes that routine is waking up every couple hours, but fingers crossed).

    We thought we'd cracked our nighttime invasions with a little night light that projects starts and unicorns onto the ceiling. 4 nights of no disturbances! Then back came the little patter of get at 1am, and we are back in a rough patch. She has a fever now so is in with mum while I crash in her bed. Any tips for 3 year old sleep?

    She says she's scared of the dark, but I think she's just scared of being alone now than anything.
     
  20. gonda

    Gangster

    Joined: Nov 6, 2006

    Posts: 392

    Location: Derby/ Notts

    Congrats @byeo! I too joined the club a few weeks back, it's been a bit of a rollercoaster since from which I'm just about emerging.

    Our little one came three weeks early; the Mrs ended up developing pre-eclampsia and the boy was measuring like a giant, so they decided to induce as soon as we hit 37 weeks. Very long story of 2 days induction including hyper stimulation for the mrs (8 contractions in 10 minutes is unsurprisingly incredibly painful) and failing to break her waters, but only realising 7 hours later which really just served to make it a major slog for all involved as the process had to effectively start over again.

    The birth went really well for the first hour with the Mrs doing brilliantly, however the room then became busier with docs as her heartrate rocketed and they decided they couldn't let her continue to push due to the chance of fitting. This unfortunately ended up in the Mrs being carted off to theatre immediately after he was born via forceps, as he came out with his arm up by his head which caused a couple of litres of bloodloss and a nasty tear.

    Quite a sobering moment being sat in the room with your newborn son in your arms, whilst they weigh your wifes bloodloss out loud next to you. Safe to say once he's old enough he'll be doing chores for a long time :D

    Anyway, sorry for venting but I haven't really been able to tell many people (or haven't wanted to sound like a drama llama). The end result is a strapping young man who wants to eat constantly and occasionally lets us have two/three hours sleep in a row, and a well Mrs who needs a few months to recover properly, but has been an absolute rock throughout.

    Edit: can also recommend Ewan the dream sheep - big help for when he's just dropped off to sleep but some background noise is still helpful to keep him that way. Also helps when he can see me/his mum next to him if he wakes up. Found him to be fussier when in a moses basket vs a by the bed cot type thing.
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2019