OcUK Dadsnet thread

Thats alright for some. We have zero relatives so we never get a day away from the kids, let alone a weekend, aaaaaaaarrggggghhhh:p (we have one friend whos girls are in same school as our lads, who are all friends, she sometimes has 1 of them for tea or play date)
Same for us. In laws will only take one of our two, there's always an excuse for the youngest not to stay. Doesn't help us on the slightest.
 
My brother has 4 kids (from 2 - 7) and asked my parents (74 and 66) if they could look after all 4 for a few days. I wouldn't want to look after all 4 for an afternoon. At least 2 of them are a nightmare and the reason its not 3 is because he hasn't quite figured out the logistics of being an absolute terrorist.

They said no.
 
Last edited:
Anybody have tips on how to teach my son (9) how to tie his shoe laces? He has always had trouble with his fine motor skills and me and my wife have tried multiple times to teach him but he just struggles, but now im getting worried as he is going into Year 5 in September and finding shoes that fit him and that are either slip on or velcro is becoming difficult
 
Last edited:
Anybody have tips on how to teach my son (9) how to tie his shoe laces? He has always had trouble with his fine motor skills and me and my wife have tried multiple times to teach him but he just struggles, but now im getting worried as he is going into Year 5 in September and finding shoes that fit him and that are either slip on or velcro is becoming difficult
My daughter is the same age, and while she can tie laces it's definitely an exercise in parience :p . She's a size 1.5, but I realise that most school shoes for girls tend to be velcro rather than laces. Maybe take him shoe shopping and then he will realise.
 
A quick follow up to this, my wife found this video, and we have made progress, still not got our heads round it 100%, but he can now at least do the first bit without too much trouble

 
Anybody have tips on how to teach my son (9) how to tie his shoe laces? He has always had trouble with his fine motor skills and me and my wife have tried multiple times to teach him but he just struggles, but now im getting worried as he is going into Year 5 in September and finding shoes that fit him and that are either slip on or velcro is becoming difficult

When I used to work as a kid's shoe fitter in Clarks ~20 years ago the number one tip I would give to parents/kids that were struggling was this:

At the point of doing that very first bit, where you do one lace over the other and then under and pull - go under and then over and under again so that you basically just have a doubled version (i.e. the laces are wrapped around each other twice). When you pull that tight you'll notice that it doesn't come undone anywhere near as easily as a single wrap does, which can be really helpful as it is usually holding that first part tight whilst forming the bow etc. that causes a lot of the problems
 
When I used to work as a kid's shoe fitter in Clarks ~20 years ago the number one tip I would give to parents/kids that were struggling was this:

At the point of doing that very first bit, where you do one lace over the other and then under and pull - go under and then over and under again so that you basically just have a doubled version (i.e. the laces are wrapped around each other twice). When you pull that tight you'll notice that it doesn't come undone anywhere near as easily as a single wrap does, which can be really helpful as it is usually holding that first part tight whilst forming the bow etc. that causes a lot of the problems
I was about to post the same reply - but purely because this was how I was taught how to tie my shoelaces in a Clarks in Stratford on Avon around 25ish years ago now!

I still do the same method now, still works a charm :cool:
 
So although i've been doing my own laces for many years since a young boy without issue, turns out I have a bit of trouble sorting out my sons when i'm facing him. I have some sort of mental block where I can do my own no issue but if the shoe is facing me, I malfunction :D

I can still tie them, I just have to really focus, it's quite bizarre.
 
Last edited:
A quick follow up to this, my wife found this video, and we have made progress, still not got our heads round it 100%, but he can now at least do the first bit without too much trouble

Actually a pretty good method. Will also try to remember to ask the wife. She is a Paediatric OT and deals with these types of issues (amongst many, many, many others). But this looks like an OT approach and seems pretty easy. Cross. Loop. Tuck. Pull
 
So although i've been doing my own laces for many years since a young boy without issue, turns out I have a bit of trouble sorting out my sons when i'm facing him. I have some sort of mental block where I can do my own no issue but if the shoe is facing me, I malfunction :D

I can still tie them, I just have to really focus, it's quite bizarre.
Not really. You are trying to get your brain to reverse everything it has done for the last 30/40/50 years. I saw an excellent video quite a while ago on trying to ride a bike where by turning the handle bars left, the bike went right and vice versa. Same concept.
 
Not really. You are trying to get your brain to reverse everything it has done for the last 30/40/50 years. I saw an excellent video quite a while ago on trying to ride a bike where by turning the handle bars left, the bike went right and vice versa. Same concept.
Cheers, don't feel quite so silly now - at 44 when we're out and he asks me to do his laces, I immediately feel like all eyes are on me focusing intently!
 
Cheers, don't feel quite so silly now - at 44 when we're out and he asks me to do his laces, I immediately feel like all eyes are on me focusing intently!
I found it easier to sit or stand behind them and tie it in "normal" mode. It is actually a lot better for you and the kids...they get to see you tying the laces right side around from above to improves the ability to "get it" sooner.
 
Has anyone here had there kids go off and do an apprenticeship after A-Levels? Eldest is going into year 12 in September but at the moment is adamant about not going to Uni and incurring £30k+ in debt and would rather look to do an engineering apprenticeship. His subjects are Physics, Chemistry, Maths and Applied (Advanced?) Maths as he has the aptitude and (as yet TBC) the marks.

Are their decent companies in that field which give him a degree of choice? He is as yet undecided on the exact field but is veering towards Mechanical Engineering (or possibly Structural). Is there a sort of blanket wage/stipend and contribution to further studies. Time off for exams etc? I suppose it is difficult to get into specifics but more of a general feeling of if the programs work and can actually be used to further his career as opposed to being brought on as a lackey to wipe down machinery and be a gopher.

TIA
 
Has anyone here had there kids go off and do an apprenticeship after A-Levels? Eldest is going into year 12 in September but at the moment is adamant about not going to Uni and incurring £30k+ in debt and would rather look to do an engineering apprenticeship. His subjects are Physics, Chemistry, Maths and Applied (Advanced?) Maths as he has the aptitude and (as yet TBC) the marks.

Are their decent companies in that field which give him a degree of choice? He is as yet undecided on the exact field but is veering towards Mechanical Engineering (or possibly Structural). Is there a sort of blanket wage/stipend and contribution to further studies. Time off for exams etc? I suppose it is difficult to get into specifics but more of a general feeling of if the programs work and can actually be used to further his career as opposed to being brought on as a lackey to wipe down machinery and be a gopher.

TIA

Depends on the company and how much they are willing to invest and how much your boy wants to learn.

An apprenticeship usually consists of 4 years learning the trade with day release at a tech college and time off for exams aswell as provision for course work to be done during working time. Our apprentices do an electrical mechanical course to nvq level 3, aswell as another course usually nvq 2/3 in welding and fabrication. Then after which they have the option to do an nvq level 4 (HNC) then if they wish to level 5 (hnd).

After that they have to be really special to get much more, but there is other courses to do such as managerial courses such as cmi, pasma for building temporary scaffold towers and various diesel engine OEM training throughout this aswell.

What the company does however is very much down to he company and the individual (some aren't worth piling additional funds in)

But the basic of apprenticeship is to get a qualification to nvq level 3, 4 years and that's it bare minimum.
 
Depends on the company and how much they are willing to invest and how much your boy wants to learn.

An apprenticeship usually consists of 4 years learning the trade with day release at a tech college and time off for exams aswell as provision for course work to be done during working time. Our apprentices do an electrical mechanical course to nvq level 3, aswell as another course usually nvq 2/3 in welding and fabrication. Then after which they have the option to do an nvq level 4 (HNC) then if they wish to level 5 (hnd).

After that they have to be really special to get much more, but there is other courses to do such as managerial courses such as cmi, pasma for building temporary scaffold towers and various diesel engine OEM training throughout this aswell.

What the company does however is very much down to he company and the individual (some aren't worth piling additional funds in)

But the basic of apprenticeship is to get a qualification to nvq level 3, 4 years and that's it bare minimum.
We did our nvq in 3 years at bae (started in 2002 at 16 so things may have changed). I did my onc for 2 years then 1 year of my hnc as an apprentice then finished it off when I was time served. Didn't have to work time back until I wasn't an apprentice. It's given me good grounding in mechanical and engineering in general.
 
We did our nvq in 3 years at bae (started in 2002 at 16 so things may have changed). I did my onc for 2 years then 1 year of my hnc as an apprentice then finished it off when I was time served. Didn't have to work time back until I wasn't an apprentice. It's given me good grounding in mechanical and engineering in general.

Our guys have the option of doing the nvq in 3 years, 1 did, the other is useless and decided to take the full 4 years, and even now he's coming to the end and the college have said he hasn't done enough coursework to pass, so we've given him additional days.

He's been with us for 4 years and we still can't trust him to build a cylinder head let alone a complete engine.

We've put up with him as he's the son of the bosses mate, but it's come to a head this year, we've put him under the wing of 5 senior engineers since he's been here and each of them have given up on him, we've pulled him in the office over the 4 years and really tried to understand his struggles and why he just can't "get it".

When the college told us he was behind on his course we finally decided to kick him out, although we've decided to give him till September finish his college.

Over the past 8 years we've only had 1 decent apprentice through the door, it's really difficult to find youngsters with a good head on their shoulders and don't mind hard work. Most. We've had just want to **** about and really don't care whether they are there or not, with many now wanting to be YouTube stars... It's painful.
 
Last edited:
Our guys have the option of doing the nvq in 3 years, 1 did, the other is useless and decided to take the full 4 years, and even now he's coming to the end and the college have said he hasn't done enough coursework to pass, so we've given him additional days.

He's been with us for 4 years and we still can't trust him to build a cylinder head let alone a complete engine.

We've put up with him as he's the son of the bosses mate, but it's come to a head this year, we've put him under the wong of 5 senior engineers since he's been here and each of them have given up on him, we've pulled him in the office over the 4 years and really tried to understand his struggles and why he just can't "get it".

When the college told us he was behind on his course we finally decided to kick him out, although we've decided to give him till September finish his college.

Over the past 8 years we've only had 1 decent apprentice through the door, it's really difficult to find youngsters with a good head on their shoulders and don't mind hard work. Most. We've had just want to **** about and really don't care whether they are there or not, with many now wanting to be YouTube stars... It's painful.
Tbf I understand your issue. Sounds like he's got diplomatic immunity :p . We have a few apprentices at my current place, but I think they hired some of them just to get some sort of subsidy as most of them seem useless and can't even do basic tasks.
I don't know if that would have been the same 20 years ago, however it does seem that youngsters seem to give no ***** about working hard.
 
Last edited:
Tbf I understand your issue. Sounds like he's got diplomatic immunity :p . We have a few apprentices at my current place, but I think they hired some of them just to get some sort of subsidy as most of them seem useless and can't even do basic tasks.
I don't know if that would have been the same 20 years ago, however it does seem that youngsters seem to give no ***** about working hard.

It's absolutely not a new trend :)

Especially in the NVQ / apprenticeship arena as those roles typically attract the more educationally-challenged end of the spectrum. Apprentices aren't much more than paid slave-labour anyway, so not sure how you can expect much better :D

You can't really compare apprentices at a car garage to apprentices at BAE either - they are fundamentally aimed at different types of young adults.

Has anyone here had there kids go off and do an apprenticeship after A-Levels? Eldest is going into year 12 in September but at the moment is adamant about not going to Uni and incurring £30k+ in debt and would rather look to do an engineering apprenticeship. His subjects are Physics, Chemistry, Maths and Applied (Advanced?) Maths as he has the aptitude and (as yet TBC) the marks.

Are their decent companies in that field which give him a degree of choice? He is as yet undecided on the exact field but is veering towards Mechanical Engineering (or possibly Structural). Is there a sort of blanket wage/stipend and contribution to further studies. Time off for exams etc? I suppose it is difficult to get into specifics but more of a general feeling of if the programs work and can actually be used to further his career as opposed to being brought on as a lackey to wipe down machinery and be a gopher.

TIA

Unless you are funding his living during Uni, £30k is the absolute bare minimum of debt he'll leave Uni with. The course fees alone over 3 years are £30k, then you have living costs and accommodation etc on top of that.
 
Back
Top Bottom