OcUK Dadsnet thread

[Pookie Bear]

Went to the hospital yesterday for an ECV. Wouldn't work, as she was bum down, legs up, and fully engaged in the OH's pelvis. So they booked a C-Sec in for the 22nd.

Got home from work at 2:30am and my missus was up, complaining she felt odd and kept needing the loo. By 6am she was on the phone to the hospital; turns out her waters had broken. We got to the hospital at 7:30am. But it was a bit of a hectic day for the staff there, so we had a long wait. Our daughter was born by C-Sec at 17:08 this evening. So happy as she's lovely and perfectly healthy Mum is doing alright too considering the surgery.

Time for some sleep

Congrats! How far along were you?

My twins were born in the early hours of this morning, boy at 1:30am and girl an hour later, girl was breach bum first, wife managed to have natural birth and avoided c section, but only after I made it clear there was no need, doctors love to give sections for the tiny risk like 2 % refused basically and within 5 minutes after they insisted she was born absolutely fine, wife was out of bed within 30 minutes ! 7 pound for the boy, 6 13 for the girl!

Congrats! My twins are due next month.

 

[SpeedFreak]

My twins were born in the early hours of this morning, boy at 1:30am and girl an hour later, girl was breach bum first, wife managed to have natural birth and avoided c section, but only after I made it clear there was no need, doctors love to give sections for the tiny risk like 2 % refused basically and within 5 minutes after they insisted she was born absolutely fine, wife was out of bed within 30 minutes ! 7 pound for the boy, 6 13 for the girl!

Congrats, twins are fun. 2% does seem like a pretty high risk imo, why did you assume you knew better than the educated professionals?

 

[JBeck]

I don't know of many women that smear poo on the wall and door and draw massive penises either

Really. So you know that women don't smear poo and don't draw massive penises on the wall, as a fact? Ok...

The fact is, men **** all over toilet seats and my girls are not sitting on it, end of.

 

[JBeck]

My twins were born in the early hours of this morning, boy at 1:30am and girl an hour later, girl was breach bum first, wife managed to have natural birth and avoided c section, but only after I made it clear there was no need, doctors love to give sections for the tiny risk like 2 % refused basically and within 5 minutes after they insisted she was born absolutely fine, wife was out of bed within 30 minutes ! 7 pound for the boy, 6 13 for the girl!

Congrats, amazing times for you

 

[Illuminist]

Really. So you know that women don't smear poo and don't draw massive penises on the wall, as a fact? Ok...

The fact is, men **** all over toilet seats and my girls are not sitting on it, end of.

Umm no im saying that I don't know many, did i upset you, sorry if I did somehow......

 

[Wizzkidy]

Congrats, twins are fun. 2% does seem like a pretty high risk imo, why did you assume you knew better than the educated professionals?

My wife is a professional Doula so has a lot of experience births, one thing she has learnt over having 5 children is doctors always want to give you as c section at the earliest opportunity. They do not trust the women's body to perform some births and this is just plain wrong!

They went ape over the girl being breach, breach births are fine if you know what you are doing and you do NOT birth on your back in these situations, yet doctors always want you on your back so they can "monitor" you or scan you. All fours 9 times out of 10 and let baby come in own pace.

The girl hit the birth canal very quickly which gave her a little fright so they basically panicked and then said they would have to perform a c sections because the heart rate had dropped, at this stage I could see the bum coming out, they didn't trust her to push basically so I refused and then told my wife to push like no tomorrow.

and on top of all that you have a c section you are bed ridden for days! most likely 3 days to be honest and that is no fun for anyone, plus the pain of it and it can cause some babies to struggle with breast feeding

 

[JBeck]

My wife is a professional Doula so has a lot of experience births, one thing she has learnt over having 5 children is doctors always want to give you as c section at the earliest opportunity. They do not trust the women's body to perform some births and this is just plain wrong!

They went ape over the girl being breach, breach births are fine if you know what you are doing and you do NOT birth on your back in these situations, yet doctors always want you on your back so they can "monitor" you or scan you. All fours 9 times out of 10 and let baby come in own pace.

The girl hit the birth canal very quickly which gave her a little fright so they basically panicked and then said they would have to perform a c sections because the heart rate had dropped, at this stage I could see the bum coming out, they didn't trust her to push basically so I refused and then told my wife to push like no tomorrow.

I disagree. My first born was breach and they tried to turn her but failed, they did everything they could. She was almost two weeks late too so they had no option but to do a c section, so it wasn't the earliest opportunity at all.

 

[JBeck]

Umm no im saying that I don't know many, did i upset you, sorry if I did somehow......

Not at all, it's all good

 

[Wizzkidy]

I disagree. My first born was breach and they tried to turn her but failed, they did everything they could. She was almost two weeks late too so they had no option but to do a c section, so it wasn't the earliest opportunity at all.

Look, in some circumstances it is required, I don't deny that but time and time again they have in my births wanted to do them quicker them required. I mean you have people opting for c sections these days, it just seems crazy to me its become the norm, look at the US rates of c section, natural will always be better for everyone involved.

 

[McPhee]

My twins were born in the early hours of this morning, boy at 1:30am and girl an hour later, girl was breach bum first, wife managed to have natural birth and avoided c section, but only after I made it clear there was no need, doctors love to give sections for the tiny risk like 2 % refused basically and within 5 minutes after they insisted she was born absolutely fine, wife was out of bed within 30 minutes ! 7 pound for the boy, 6 13 for the girl!

Congratulations. Can't imagine having to handle two at once Glad to hear both are okay.

Congrats! How far along were you?

38 + 1

and on top of all that you have a c section you are bed ridden for days! most likely 3 days to be honest and that is no fun for anyone

My OH was up this morning on the advice of the consultant and the midwives. Apparently patients take longer to recover if they stay in bed for days.

Don't really know if it was the right choice or not. It's easy to see why hospitals recommend c-sections; trained staff are abundant, and the weight of medical evidence in favour helps to reinforce their recommendation if anything goes wrong. Given the increased chance of problems for breech babies regardless of delivery method, I have a suspicion that the latter part is the biggest factor in the recommendation.

 

[RoboCod]

The NHS birthing service is to be safe and quick/efficient. There's nothing wrong with that but I think it does mean people go in to hospital and believe that they must do as the doctor says. They're quite clever in the way they say and do things: "right, we're just going to give you an epidural, OK?" and then everyone thinks they must have that because the doctor says so when in fact, you're well within your right to refuse anything. A womans body is built to birth, so unless you've been assessed as high risk, it is fine to follow what your body is telling you and refuse intervention if required.

What sounds strange, but isn't if you think about it, is that a hospital birth is most likely going to result in intervention over say a home birth. They want your labour to be safe and efficient. That means dosing you up, inducing and c section, when very often it's not necessarily the answer. Midwifes are the experts in normal, low risk child birth. Doctors are experts in complications and high risk, so why do we grant them full access from the get go?

 

[robj20]

The NHS birthing service is to be safe and quick/efficient. There's nothing wrong with that but I think it does mean people go in to hospital and believe that they must do as the doctor says. They're quite clever in the way they say and do things: "right, we're just going to give you an epidural, OK?" and then everyone thinks they must have that because the doctor says so when in fact, you're well within your right to refuse anything. A womans body is built to birth, so unless you've been assessed as high risk, it is fine to follow what your body is telling you and refuse intervention if required.

What sounds strange, but isn't if you think about it, is that a hospital birth is most likely going to result in intervention over say a home birth. They want your labour to be safe and efficient. That means dosing you up, inducing and c section, when very often it's not necessarily the answer. Midwifes are the experts in normal, low risk child birth. Doctors are experts in complications and high risk, so why do we grant them full access from the get go?

All i will say is thank god they are there from the get go.
The fact the body is perfectly capable doesn't mean there isn't a better safer way. If i could go back in time i would demand a C section for my wife.

I shudder when i hear about birthing centers that have no doctors so that should something go wrong an ambulance needs to be called.
I wonder as a parent who's needs are coming first they're, i know the mother should feel happy about it all, but for purely the baby a hospital with doctors and specialists on hand surely is the best place.

I'd argue there is no such thing as a low risk birth technically all births are high risk. A lot can go wrong and in a big way.
I'd always want my children to be delivered at a specialist Neonatal hospital so for us that's either St Marys or Bolton, no matter what then you have the best possible care should you need it.

 

[RoboCod]

The medical professionals term a birth high or low risk. A woman knows her body better than anyone else and it is built to birth. A midwife will know well ahead if the birth isn't going to plan or if it's becoming high risk. At that point it will be a case of having a doctor involved. So whether in a hospital or not, the woman will get the attention she needs, since the midwife will know. All I'm saying is there is more inclination to intervene when you're in hospital. At the slightest hint of any deviation and it's on with induction and/or c section. It doesn't necessarily have to be that way.

Reading into child birth and how hormones play a massive factor, it's fascinating to me that in the end we're just mammals. Mammals birth in warm, dark, comfortable surroundings. If they're scared or in uncomfortable surroundings (bright lights with numerous strangers prodding at their nether regions), they produce adrenaline. That pumps blood to the extremeties and not the womb, which can delay or prevent natural birth and inevitably result in intervention (which the hospital will be pushing for anyway). In a comfortable environment, mammals produce the opposite of adrenaline. Oxytocin pumps blood to the core, it's why in hospital they pump you the synthetic version, it's the happy drug that makes you cosy and comfortable.

I think reality TV and umpteen drama shows have given child birth a stigma. Everyone thinks they're going to be on 'one born every minute' and have a complication. People also only tell horror stories about birth, no one wants to brag about how wonderful it was, that's not as exciting or dramatic.

 

[robj20]

A midwife will know well ahead if the birth isn't going to plan or if it's becoming high risk. At that point it will be a case of having a doctor involved. So whether in a hospital or not, the woman will get the attention she needs, since the midwife will know. All I'm saying is there is more inclination to intervene when you're in hospital. At the slightest hint of any deviation and it's on with induction and/or c section. It doesn't necessarily have to be that way.

That's just not the case, for starters ours 100% wouldn't have survived if he wasn't born in hospital.

Like a previous poster said the NHS is only interested in delivering the baby as safely as possible, feelings and wishes don't come into it. If a mother wants to risk it because she wants a natural birth that's fine but that's her wishes it's got nothing to do with the safe delivery of a baby.

 

[Stringy]

That's just not the case, for starters ours 100% wouldn't have survived if he wasn't born in hospital.

My little one needed a lot of help being 'encouraged' to start to breathe when he came out due to my wife having had diamorphine. I dread to imagine what might have happened if we weren't in hospital.

On the subject of 'NHS = bad for encouraging interventions and C-Sections' - My wife had lots of post-birth 'issues' with regards to tearing etc that went on for months, off the back of a 'low risk' natural birth. She's seen the promised land, next time she's getting a C Section and I don't blame her, or anyone that goes down that road! All y'all with super elastic downstairs that can fire out babies that are pointing any which-way with next-no-issues, good for you, but don't think your experience is going to be the same as everyone elses. When a tiny one's life is involved I'm happy to listen to the obstetricians and gynecologists over some warm and fuzzy 'but our bodies are wonderful and have been doing this for thousands of years' clap trap.

 

[Devrij]

I'm very much in the "listen to the pros" camp, because I'd rather be surrounded by experienced people and anything they need to work when my child is born. I know one of the midwives was telling us she did an at home delivery of her 2nd child, so I'm not saying it shouldn't be an option or anything. I'm just paranoid and didn't want to take any risks. As it turns out, Riley had to come out the front so I'm glad we weren't at home

 

[theone8181]

I'll just point out that when we rang the hospital when my wife was in labour, the midwife said she didn't sound that uncomfortable. Her waters went in the car and me and her mum caught him while my wife was holding onto the car door. The 'pros' don't know everything, if we'd have waiting until they said to go in we'd have been delivering in the back of the car.

 

[GiraffePencils]

When it comes to 'listen to the pros', they don't always have the mother's best interests in mind.
When you read up on it there's many things they suggest which make the delivery easier for THEM, but more traumatic on the mother, and both options are equal with regards to the baby.

Also my mother was one of the big campaigners for being allowed to give natural birth after having a C-section. Something that you couldn't do back then (including someone being sectioned so they could perform it against her will!)
Went on This Morning etc to talk and all that.

She went on to have 3 natural births after a C-section.

 

[toshj]

A load of this stuff is anecdotal. Soon to be parents are largely free to make their minds up based on their research and advice received, and then have to shoulder the outcomes.

My personal mindset is that for any process that can lead to trauma, infection or similar, I'd always want my baby, wife or anyone else to be near a doctor, full medical team and resuss unit. This doesn't just apply to births, but for any surgery or medical process.

On another note, my 7 week old son came down with a heavy fever on Friday night. Went in to children's A&E - at which point he completely chilled out and started smiling, and we almost left before getting checked out as he'd perked right up - and after being seen they wanted to give him the works.

Having to hold him down whilst they were trying to insert the cannula, him screaming up at me and my wife couldn't watch, was totally ******* soul destroying. Then came the lumbar puncture...

All the beds were taken, so we were transferred to a hospital quite far away and have been stuck in a boiling tiny room for two days. All fine now. No meningitis or sepsis thankfully, just a viral infection.

It was horrible, but I struggle to contemplate how parents of seriously ill babies cope with it all.

 

[robj20]

A load of this stuff is anecdotal. Soon to be parents are largely free to make their minds up based on their research and advice revived, and then have to shoulder the outcomes.

My personal mindset is that for any process that can lead to trauma, infection or similar, I'd always want my baby, wife or anyone else to be near a doctor, full medical team and resuss unit. This doesn't just apply to births, but for any surgery or medical process.

On another note, my 7 week old son came down with a heavy fever on Friday night. Went in to children's A&E - at which point he completely chilled out and started smiling, and we almost left before getting checked out as he'd perked right up - and after being seen they wanted to give him the works.

Having to hold him down whilst they were trying to insert the cannula, him screaming up at me and my wife couldn't watch, was totally ******* soul destroying. Then came the lumbar puncture...

All the beds were taken, so we were transferred to a hospital quite far away and have been stuck in a boiling tiny room for to days. All fine now. No meningitis or sepsis thankfully, just a viral infection.

It was horrible, but I struggle to contemplate how parents of seriously ill babies cope with it all.

To be honest you just do. Just like you managed you just do. Hard to explain. For me it felt like everything else switched off and the only focus was them.