Completely agree if you're talking about Arma 1, I found the charecter movements in 2 much better, they've improved them somewhat - you can reload, raise/lower stance and change direction/sidestep etc while moving now, where as in #1 things like reloading meant standing still being unable to move or crouch or do anything to avoid the incoming barrage of enemy fire until your avatar had finished loading the new mag!
As for the aiming delay, I found that disabling the floating zone, upping the mouse sensitivity slightly and changing the flip queue size (called "frames to render ahead" for nvidia users) pretty much eliminated any delay.
At the end of the day it is a realistic shooter, and things that can be done in COD4/CS like spinning 180 while jumping and pulling off a headshot in a millisecond are just not possible when carrying god knows how many kilos of armour and kit!