Paying for your own meal at a wedding?

[KLM]

When we got married couple of years ago at the Wild Boar hotel near beeston

we decided to book all 40 rooms @ £100 per night. for 2 reasons , A it was cheaper than exclusivity yet booking every room meant only weeding guest would be there and B it was 20 miles or so away from where most guest were coming from and we thought it was a nice thing to do rather than watching dozens of taxis turn up and people go home

we have been together 12 yrs but only married 2 as i wouldnt get married until i could afford to pay for it all

im probably old fashioned in that sense and i suppose now-a-days its becoming more of a thing, especially cash as wedding gifts. A few years ago giving cash was frowned upon but now its common place for the marrying couple to actually ask for it as a gift.

 

[Resident]

I'm in the middle of wedding planning (well my fiancee is, I'm just a Yes-man at this point).

We don't earn a great deal as my fiancee is disabled and can only work part-time. We're paying for everything except for night-do drinks (still providing food though). The wedding 'breakfast' & drinks for that meal are paid for and we've managed to negotiate a discount on bedrooms (£80/night instead of £120)

Personally I think it's a bit cheap to ask guests to pay for their own meal. Especially as most wedding venues have a limited menu to begin with. Might as well have the ceremony the bugger off to a Weatherspoons . . .

 

[shadow_boxer]

Lol no

 

[Johno please?]

I don't see the issue with this. Unless it wasn't in the invite. What they earn isn't about how much spare money they have and that's not a large amount anyway.

Only on ocuk is a household income of 60k not a large amount.

Id not be going if someone asked me to pay for the meal, its utterly mental.

 

[Illusion]

It's a very strange thing to do / way to go about it but it totally depends on how friendly you are with them. As Scott88 just said I'd try and put enough in a card to at least cover the cost of the meal as that seems to be what people are asking for when they ask for cash rather than items from a list anyway.

£23 isn't enough to make a fuss about if you actually value their friendship but if you do I'd be questioning why they weren't more open about this from the start!

It's funny how many awkward situations seem to arise around weddings. Earlier this year a 'friend' was more than happy for me to spend over £500 going on his stag do abroad but then pretended my invite to the wedding got lost in the post and made it quite clear with his games that he only wanted me at the evening do, the best bit is I was fine with this and was only annoyed by the indirect way he went about it.

 

[fendi]

skip the evening do imo.

 

[SPG]

No, no no

It bad enough if they dont put a free bar on

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

It's hard to second guess why they're now asking for guests to pay for their meals. OP, you mention that you know how much collectively they earn; are you sure this is still the case?

Maccy - congrats, man

 

[mushtafa]

No, never heard of this before! I expect a lot of the guests will decline!

 

[jono_astra]

..

 

[thenewoc]

can you take a pack lunch instead?

 

[Jonny2284]

I honestly wouldn't be against paying if that had been the deal from the start (ie on the invite)

Coming out the blue with a "Oh by the way you need to pay us X" however is just not cool.

 

[Brian18741]

No. If it was a small wedding with very close friends I think it would be more acceptable for some reason.

 

[banja]

Pay it, then bill them for your time. Two of you? £46 should be fair.

 

[Quartz]

Hey all.
I have been invited to a wedding in September. The invite was in June.
Today I get a message with bank details asking me to transfer money for the wedding meal.

Are you sure someone (not the couple) isn't trying to scam you and them?

 

[itchy]

Your celebration, your shout when a sit down meal is concerned.

I have been to a good few weddings and never ever have I been asked to pay for the meal.

If you not on the meal list, you will be on the night list which is a free buffet and starts way after evening meal.

You do not ask a guest to pay anything, as you asking someone to go out there way to celebrate your occasion.

Minge bags they are!

OP Just turn up in the night time and pay sod all.

 

[AHarvey]

Kind of like have a bbq and asking guests to bring their own meat!

Even as a wedding photographer, I've never seen this before, and £23 for a meal, that's a cheap meal. Most wedding venues would charge £40+ per person.

 

[thebennyboy]

Pfff, i just wouldn't go. Hate weddings.

 

[LeeUK]

I would not pay for my meal at someone's wedding. If they can't afford the wedding they want, then they should just have a cheaper wedding. Me personally only wants a basic wedding with and evening do in a booked function room somewhere. Certainly not interested in spending £KKKs for one day.

 

[EdwardTeach]

If I was you I wouldn't go, that will teach them a lesson for when they next get married. If you are very keen you could always bring a packed lunch.