Paying for your own meal at a wedding?

[mccarf]

Just subtract it from the wedding gift you would have given them, that way you don't actually lose anything.

 

[sports_brah]

Never heard of it before, though traditionally its usually a pretty big affair.

Personally I would like a fairly small reception, as I'd want it to be an intimate occasion. The caveat being that I'd want a free bar for everyone and accommodation. **** up central!

 

[thebennyboy]

Poo on their wedding cake?

 

[d_brennen]

Bring a lunchbox, that'll show them ;p

We laid on the meal, table wine (one red, one white) and a toast drink (brandy for the fellas and hairy women, some kind of cocktail for the ladies), the bar was cash only, though if I recall correctly several relatives ponied up a tab for everyone.

 

[Feef]

Standard here, our actual wedding was a very small affair in Hong Kong, but then had to have the big party back in Taiwan - cost around £25pp iirc, then everyone leaves a red envelope with at least the cost of their meal, usually a bit more as a gift. Takes the place of wedding presents, and pays for the party with a bit left over for us. Then we do the same for anyone else's wedding we attend.

Was thoroughly stressful and annoying, as both my wife and I hate being the centre of attention for anything, so 550 guests and a big traditional ceremony wouldn't have been our first choice, but did it for her family.

 

[trentlad]

I don't see the issue with this. Unless it wasn't in the invite. What they earn isn't about how much spare money they have and that's not a large amount anyway.

Meh. You're wrong.

 

[Rybo89]

I would feel so awkward asking my guests to pay for their own meal. If I received an invite, had RSVP'd and was then told I had to pay I probably wouldn't go tbh.

Oh and I've now been married a week

This^ The cheek... Guess the couple got ahead of them self's and then realised they couldn't afford it all. Only way I think why anyone would do this.

Oh and congrats Maccy!

 

[Mucky_Pup]

Ironic thing is, they're probably asking their guests to pay for their meals, and it'll turn out she'll be wearing a £10k wedding dress, and they'll arrive at their expensive stately home venue by horse drawn carriage.

I wouldn't have the nerve to ask people to pay for food at my wedding. I don't even want gifts off of people when I get married.

 

[MadMouse101]

No.

 

[Rikk82]

I second the packed lunch idea.

 

[OpenToSuggestions]

It will be a small affair.
They spend a fortune on holidays.

It isn't about the money, it is the cheek that has annoyed me. They are both still employed and have cheap rent from a relative. Being hard up is not the reason, it is ignorance.

Options are:
- Go to event, pay for meal before hand and give no wedding present.
- Skip the meal.

I'm still deciding my actions.

He used to be a close friend but he gets through women like socks and is only getting married so quickly because she's pregnant.
I wouldn't be too hurt if I just skipped the whole thing.

Obviously as this is GD I have taken a poo through my own letterbox just to be on the safe side.

 

[coolsurfer]

As I said, do you really want to be mates with a dumb cheap *******?

 

[Narj]

Wow, I'd suddenly find that something's come up and that i can't make it if it were me.

 

[mid_gen]

Normal procedure in China, couple book the venue, if you attend you're expected to lai si 50 quid or so as a wedding gift/cover costs. Usually 150+ people though and expensive food like abalone.

Don't know why it's just a big deal. Don't want to to pay, don't go.

 

[Burnsy2023]

It will be a small affair.
They spend a fortune on holidays.

It isn't about the money, it is the cheek that has annoyed me. They are both still employed and have cheap rent from a relative. Being hard up is not the reason, it is ignorance.

It's funny, you say it's not about the money yet the rest of your statement seems to indicate it is actually about the money.

If it weren't about the money, why mention the holidays, rent of employment status?

 

[thenewoc]

On the face of it they sound a bit up themselves so I'm not sure they'd be that close to me in the first place. I think it says something about how they value their friends so I would at best take it with a pinch of salt and turn up to the evening event.

 

[Burnsy2023]

I think it says something about how they value their friends

I personally think that it says something about the friends who seem to have a strong sense of entitlement when going to someone else's wedding.

 

[thenewoc]

I personally think that it says something about the friends who seem to have a strong sense of entitlement when going to someone else's wedding.

I think if they can't afford it they should have a smaller guest list. If they were genuinely hard up it would be different but either way it should have been in the original invite. To spring it on people after the invites have been sent out which also seems cheap skate to have used instant messaging, is just crass.

 

[Burnsy2023]

I think if they can't afford it they should have a smaller guest list. If they were genuinely hard up it would be different but either way it should have been in the original invite. To spring it on people after the invites have been sent out which also seems cheap skate to have used instant messaging, is just crass.

I agree they should have been up front about it, but I just don't understand why everyone is so set that the meal MUST be given to them as guests.

When I go to a wedding, I'm there for the bride and/or groom, to share in their day, because I want to be part of that. I'm not there to expect drinks or food.

 

[Kenai]

It's funny, you say it's not about the money yet the rest of your statement seems to indicate it is actually about the money.

If it weren't about the money, why mention the holidays, rent of employment status?

I would assume by not about the money, he means it's not because he can't afford to pay £23. The rest of the post is context as to why he feels it's a bit cheeky that they are asking at all, never mind doing so with no prior notice of it.