Repeating a meaningless catchphrase like a broken record worked wonders for Donald Trump, which is presumably where she got the idea from. It makes her look dishonest and sometimes downright stupid when it's clearly not even vaguely related to being an answer to a question, but it might work for her too. I'd be insulted by the idea that my attention span is short enough to fall for it, but mind-numbing repetition does have an effect on people.
I'm an undecided voter. Like an ethereal fog, I drift from work to the sofa, and back out again in the morning. Half awake, half asleep most of the time, I can vaguely recall some news update on the telly, maybe two - the world is in an awful state; the country - going to the dogs. Sigh.
There was a woman on the other night; the presenter said she was the PM. Blank. Another election is coming. I really don't care. Everyone drones on about this, that and the other at work and on Facebook; I just get on with my life. Do I have a life? Sigh.
8 June. What is to be done? With a thousand further sighs and a heavy heart, I shamble off like a decaying mutt to the polling station to do my civic duty, passing a small demonstration on the way. Silly sixth-form students. Lots of red! Two chaps with purple rosettes are grappling in the mud off to the side. Politics does strange things to people! I weave past the temporary chaos - we live quiet and decent lives here, you understand? - and into the local primary school. It's decision time! But whom or what am I voting for again?
Alone with my thoughts and the ballot at last, what do I remember? 'Stronk!' whispers the motherly voice in my head. 'Hmm, but what about this funny Labour chap that reads to kids and snaps selfies in train loos?' I wonder, as old memes come to the surface. 'Not stronk!' answers the motherly voice, now harsher, grating. 'But what if...' I resist. 'No ifs, no buts! Stronk and stable leadership is what your heart desires,' comes the clincher. Very well.
As I scan down the ballot, there it is 'Pippingworth, Mary Elizabeth; 22 Steadyforth Drive, Buntingford, SG9 9AD; The Conservative Party: Stronk and Stable Leadership This Country Needs'. Close enough. I put my cross in the box. My duty is done. See you again in five years.