Post your Fav short joke!

[Jest3r]

Mate of mine called me from the M25 to say that there are major road works and long tail backs.

I asked him which end?

 

[paddy]

A baby seal walks into a club.
** DISCLAIMER **
...

That was me - a jhad on you, your 3 wives and all your camels for copying my joke, infidel.

...................................

As for another short joke:

"There are no US troops at the airport, we have them running scared....."
etc etc

 

[Mattus]

Next day the newspaper headlines read: "Archbishop can't swim"

I don't get it

 

[Doohickey]

Why did the orange fall off the swing?




Because it didn't have any arms.

 

[Treefrog]

One day the Archbishop of Cantebury went fishing. He was sitting with some friends in a boat when he realised that he'd left his lunch on the bank, so he got out of the boat and walked across the water to the shore, collected his sandwiches and walked back to it again. Next day the newspaper headlines read: "Archbishop can't swim"

That would be J Jonah Jameson's "Daily Bugle" then?

 

[Garp]

I don't get it

Its a **** take of the newspapers... no matter what happens newspaper companies always try to find a bad spin on it.

 

[loltim]

What then, do you call an arab two pieces of ham on his head?
Mohammed

And what do you call an arab with two pieces of ham on his head standing on small path between two buildings?
Mohammed Ali

What do you call an arab carpenter?

Ahmedashed

 

[RobinL]

what's C.D. stand for?

becuase it can't find a chair..

 

[Combat squirrel]

dont let this thread die ! its sooooooooooo funny !!!!!!

what do saddam hussain and little miss muffet have in common ?

they both have curds in there way

 

[The_Dark_Side]

sorry about this.....

Rover have released two new models for the summer...the P45 and the P60

 

[Irish_Tom]

sorry about this.....

Rover have released two new models for the summer...the P45 and the P60

classic

Panzer

 

[Spunj99]

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

..He couldn't budget.

-----------------------

What do you call a woman who's lost 95% of her intelligence?

Divorced.

------------------

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

You can keep the tip!

 

[Nem]

Fish swims into a concrete wall...

"Damn!"

Nick

 

[Killerkebab]

sorry about this.....

Rover have released two new models for the summer...the P45 and the P60

I didn't get that one

 

[kicks66]

2 nuns in the bath:
1st nun: Where's the soap?
2nd nun: Yes it does doesn't it…

i dont get it

nick

 

[neverender]

Three blind men enter a bar, but to derive humour from the situation would be exploitative.



Good ol' Bill Bailey

 

[paddy]

I didn't get that one

They're the forms you get when your made redunant

i dont get it

Bottom of page 6 is the explaination

......................................................................

Piece of red tarmac walks into a pub and asks for a pint, the barman with a sudden look of terror on his face calmly serves the tarmac and goes back to his business.
A motorway at the other end of the bar asks why the barman was so scared, "don't you know" says the barman "that piece of red tarmac is a cycle-path"

 

[kicks66]

What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?


They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride.

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How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?

When she has a tampon behind her ear and can't find her pencil

 

[Belmit]

What has 112 teeth and guards a monster?

My trouser fly.
Ooooooh Yeeeaaahh!*








*This last part is compulsory when you re-tell it to your mates.

 

[Sic]

i still dont get that nuns and soap joke