Our office has two toilets for blokes with one at each end of the building. Our end is the "lord of the flies" sector whilst the toilet at the other end is like something from star wars corridors with its looks of cleanliness and sterility (which we used to own until two departments were switched round for more space). I nearly died yesterday when trying to remove my "evidence" from the back of the bowl, it came out with the speed and precision of a fisherman's wrist flicking out the line. Noise was minimal but it did spatter with the artistic impression of a comtemporary masterpiece.
Once finished I wiped, zipped and belted to find the messy bowl, I swear I saw baby jesus smiling back at me through the clods of poo. One flush and it was immediately clear that it was going to take the brush (that rotten white plastic stick that no one ever touches with a bare hand). I lifted the seat (so no drips) and wound a handful of tissue and reached for the stick.
What happened next can only be described as utter boke. I lifted the brush out to find a less than negligable pool of brown water in the bottom of the stick holder and even worse, a good half pounds worth of dark brown poo skewered all across the brush of the stick, I dropped it back into the holder and flushed again and got the hell out.
The smell I can only describe as rotten drying poo mixed with marmite and peanut butter all mixed into a cold broth, none of which I can conceed to being a fan of. Im not back using Darths loo, at least I can see my face in the walls and not spatters.
Once finished I wiped, zipped and belted to find the messy bowl, I swear I saw baby jesus smiling back at me through the clods of poo. One flush and it was immediately clear that it was going to take the brush (that rotten white plastic stick that no one ever touches with a bare hand). I lifted the seat (so no drips) and wound a handful of tissue and reached for the stick.
What happened next can only be described as utter boke. I lifted the brush out to find a less than negligable pool of brown water in the bottom of the stick holder and even worse, a good half pounds worth of dark brown poo skewered all across the brush of the stick, I dropped it back into the holder and flushed again and got the hell out.
The smell I can only describe as rotten drying poo mixed with marmite and peanut butter all mixed into a cold broth, none of which I can conceed to being a fan of. Im not back using Darths loo, at least I can see my face in the walls and not spatters.
Last edited:
