relationship problems :/ whos in the wrong?

[BennyC]

You were only ever just friends by the sound of it, just cut contact it'll make it much easier for you to deal with.

You weren't going out, so to be fair to her she's done nothing wrong here...

This, basically teen syndrome. Trust me you'll meet far better women, cut contact and move on. If she was worth your time she would have been with you by now.

The truth, they speak it.

At least she told you she's been gobbling someone else salami rather than just not speaking to you.

Had you actually seen her since your holiday? If not them I'm afraid internet/telephone G/F's don't really count.

 

[Mat]

If you want to remain friends, be cool with what she's telling you even if it hurts like hell... desperation is an ugly, ugly thing.

Otherwise, cut all contact and move on... there will be a lot more heartache to deal with so just chalk this one down to experience and move on.

 

[orderoftheflame]

'the only reason we weren't going out was the distance' yes we weren't going out per se, however we were treating each other as if we were. we talked for ages every night. i have seen her a few times since the summer, and i was meant to be seeing her next sunday.

we were treating eachother as if we were going out. everytime we were together we were out in town, we were acting as a couple.

well she was treating me as a bf more than i was treating her as a gf so.....

yeh ok cheers

You're either going out and treating each other like GF/BF or your not. I'm guessing it was her that thought that the distance should stop you calling it "going out"?

Given her getting well acquainted with another bloke, it seems that even if you think you thought of her as your GF, the feeling wasn't mutual. Might seem harsh, but why would you want someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option?

Stop worshiping her, get over her, plenty of fish etc.

 

[Infam0us]

And that would stop him why? It's what parks and street corners are for

Yes, but I did'nt want to encourage him

Would'nt stop me when I was 16 though

 

[Puzzled]

Move on son.

Don't fall into the trap of just being her friend while secretly waiting for her to fall for you. It'll never happen!

You want more than her, yet you've hardly met each other so cut her off. Don't look at her facebook or respond to all her texts (you can be friendly but don't respond straight away, distance yourself).

I've known guys that waste years waiting for girls to come around, it never happens! Maybe in Hollywood but not in real life.

Edit: Oh and don't grovel either, she'll never respect you.

 

[Naffa]

It's hard, very hard but you have to move on. It's the most difficult thing to do, but you have to act cool about it, you will feel better eventually and I hope that you do.

 

[This Side Up]

Accept that she's found someone that makes her happy, even if it isn't you.

Welcome to the friends zone .

You missed your chance to be honest.

Get someone closer to you. At your age, you think she's amazing but she's not.

Sound advice, all.

OP: you're 16. I am sure you feel your world is crashing down around you but really... it's not.

You will find another. "Plenty of fish in the sea" and all that! Just don't try to rush into a relationship thinking that's the "done thing" after a breakup (well, it IS, but not immediately!).

To answer your topic question "whos[sic] in the wrong?"... no one. She moved on. I suggest you do the same.

Got friends? Go out and have a laugh, put the woman behind you.

 

[SiriusB]

With all due respect, **** that.

Waste of time. Yes there is a friendship, but if the OP wanted it to go further it's not like he is going to forget it.

That's not to say you can't have female friends, just that sometimes its easier to move on. It'll cut open his wounds everytime she gets a new boyfriend and he has to put a smile on but secretly within thinking.....damn that should be me.

Precisely. You have known her all of 6 months? And 99% of that has been through MSN, FB and the like? Forget it.

You are firmly in the friend zone now, and being 16 and 2 hours apart means one of two things:

1: You guys stop arguing and make up. She will continue to have boyfriends that aren't you, and come crying to you every time she has a row/splits up with a boyfriend. No fun at all for you.

2: She stops talking to you and eventually deletes you from her contacts.

Both 1 and 2 are crappy outcomes so you are best off cutting ties altogether. You had you shot, it didn't work. Move on. The woman of your (wet) dreams could just be around the corner. You will never know if you're chasing someone you categorically cannot have.

Chin up, lad. At 16 you still have a long, full life of being ****** about by women. Don't get hung up on this one!

 

[SexyGreyFox]

we were treating eachother as if we were going out. everytime we were together we were out in town, we were acting as a couple.

To be honest take no notice of all the 'Oh you're only young and you'll realise when you're older' quotes because you can be infatuated with a female at any age and they can break your heart at any age.
Just try to forget her and find somebody closer to home, I know it isn't easy but you have to move on.
(I've had this conversation twice with each daughter).

 

[ewarwoowar]

If she's done that, she's definitely not good for you so just cut contact and keep thinking that she was and never wil be good for you and you'll get along fine

 

[CharlieAlbert]

Sounds like you were never an item.

Unrequited love - Bad times

 

[Pate]

Just be grateful you are 16. Many more years of cockups ahead

 

[Poppy]

Been there done that. Attention seeking whore.

Get her out of your head, delete all contact details of her, phone number, email addy, facebook etc.

Seriously the sooner shes gone the better, it'll only eat you up inside (Trust me!)

 

[[FnG]magnolia]

RAWR! BITTER RAGE! KILL HER! *

* yeah, don't do this.

 

[SiriusB]

* yeah, don't do this.

[puts his corpse shovel back in the cupboard]

Aww

 

[Poppy]

* yeah, don't do this.

Hahaha! Im not bitter anymore, i moved on and found someone amazing

 

[2StepSteve]

Move on.

Remove her from your life.

It is probably hard for you to see right now as you are young, but you will be ok.

 

[bloodiedathame]

Move on lad.

 

[jumpy]

OP
Remember - young women (though this can apply to women of any age really, but it depends on their emotional maturity) ...where was I? Oh, yes; young women like having attention, being noticed and pursued, even if they are not serious about doing anything further. It reaffirms their self esteem as desirable and therefore worthy as an individual. Particularly as they (like you) are just beginning to find their place in the world as a young adult.

Most of the time, they don't know what they want... but they want it anyway! This makes life very confusing for inexperienced young males like yourself, who get mixed signals and the 'come-on' but don't yet have the wisdom to spot a pricktease when they see one and act accordingly.

You'll find as you get older that very little changes but with time you do get to notice the patterns of behaviour that are a dead give away for an encounter to avoid overly emotional entanglements with.

When all is said and done, the two of you were not a couple, just holiday acquaintances who kept in touch. Keep those raging teenage hormones in check, lad!

Whilst on principal I agree with the following statement: "There are plenty more fish in the sea..." I must make the following addendum: "But the deeper you go, the uglier they get."


Relax, young fella, there is plenty of time to get really bent out of shape by a woman who means a great deal more to you than a mere holiday non event.

 

[shifty_uk]

Whos in the wrong?

You are. You thought she was interested, she wasn't. She was just after the attention, undoubtedly having more men like yourself on the line.

Move on, find someone worth while